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From the ghost land of the easy life.

14 September 2008

dishing out love to a hungry world tell me would that appease you :
Yea so I'm not Joe Sanity these days. My POS job is giving me migraines. Mostly because I care. I care that I'm getting passed over for promotions that I work for, ask for and lobby for all the while being told that I can't have it because I haven't been doing X long enough, or if I want to advance in the company I should move to get a better job. All that while watching people who are just days and weeks into the contract get the training I asked for and I know they aren't doing a better job then I am. How? Becuase all these newly advanced are more then willing to tell you how they are fucking the dog and yet they still get the breaks. I'm pretty sick of it and the smug bullshit of my managers.

I keep looking for guidance here, I mean what do I do? Who do I turn to? Everyone I ask has a different story and most won't leave the job because they won't get paid the same somewhere else. I can say that right now money isn't driving me as far as making a decision, I want a little more stability and knowing I can't really lose this job isn't the sticking point it used to be. I'm tired of the building, the people, the blame game where no one is ever responsible for anything or willing to actually help you out. There is NO upward or lateral mobility here for me and being told that my best options for advancement would be to physically move from Canada to the US is bullshit. A week later there is a position open I've also been told I won't qualify for because I've been sick lately, so my attendance is bad. Fuck you!!

It's not that I love my job or the people. I actually hardly see anyone I used to be pals with because we all have different schedules and we don't socialise outside of work so I can't even say I'll miss the people. I don't have a set schedule and no idea what I can do to get one short of getting a doctors note saying I have restrictive work hours. So I've been looking. Actively looking. Not just looking at jobs that will take me to bigger and better paycheques either, actually just looking for anything that seems interesting. Currently I'm planning to apply at a nearby grocery store that has fulltime postions open so that if I get that and the pay isn't too low I can just quit Hell and move onto something else I may hate soon enough but eill enjoy learning and doing for a while.

I keep reading my hororscpe and it keeps saying to stop doing what I've always done and good things will happen. Well I need a little more then that, because depending on the time I've stuck with a job not quitting til something better came along like more money or hours, I've left without having a job to go to, I've left high paying and gone to service jobs just to not be doing the same thing all the time and I've tried my damndest to get soemthing that sounded interesting just to see if I could. Except for the quitting part I'm doing all of the above now. Applying to higher paying jobs, jobs in a differnt line with higher pay, jobs in a different line with lower pay and anything that sounds interesting. The road block I keep hitting is mental. People keep asking what I want to do, well I want to do anything I can to make money. It's not that I'm unskilled or looking to be more of a slacker I just want something fulfiulling and that doesn't leave me with no options. I don't want another dead end job.

There are a lot of cons to this need I have to break free of the call center. If I go somewhere else I'm on probation for the first 3-6 months and can be fired anytime. I may not have any benefits or the same retirement options I have now, I am almost 40 does being a job hopper now look bad or is being satisfied with my job all that matters? Why can't I find a niche were asking questions and being a customer service fiend is enough? Where it doesn't get me labelled as a trouble maker or berated and or yelled at by some a-hole manager who feels imparting wisdom is like a tongue lashing and is wrong anyways. I really HATE my current job and I'm doing all I can not to quit or do so poorly that there is no suprise I'm leaving, but it's starting to seem like this is all in an effort to force certain people out of the door. I'm going to apply everywhere. And I'm going to talk to unemployment because my job duties have radically changed and I have no ability to ever earn more at my job. I'm sure they'll tell me to piss off and that I'm a whiner but I have to pursue all my options.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:03 PM

MenTal fUrbAll