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What Came Before

2005.05 2005.06 2005.07 2005.08 2005.09 2005.10 2005.11 2005.12 2006.01 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.07 2008.09 2008.10 2009.01 2010.01 2010.03 2010.05

From the ghost land of the easy life.

Your brain: 120% interpersonal, 120% visual, 120% verbal, and 40% mathematical!
Congratulations on being 400% smart!

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:

  1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
  2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
  3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

29 June 2005

on the been having a fast forward rewind day :
I got all desirous of seeing the X-Files today. Since it doesn't play here on tv anymore I pulled out my tapes. Yea I am that kind of X-files fan. One thing I always notice about the episodes is the commercials if I've taped them too. Some of the episodes I taped when they originally aired and some I taped later than that. There used to be repeats on Space channel and I kept up with them when I could, now I don't think they even air there anymore and I miss it. There's still nothing worth watching on a Sunday night if you ask me.

Any how some of the episodes are straight from FOX and come with the American commercials, some are from FOX but have the Canadian commercials and some are from Space or Global and have the Canadian commercials. I get a kick out of the bumpers for Space. All the shows that came and went on that station and yet they still have time to show everything Gene Roddenberry ever put his name on. They finally stopped showing Earth Final Conflict and Andromeda took it's place. Over all I like Space because It shows things I like such as Buffy and Angel, the 4400, the new BattleStar Galactica (which I meant to try to get into but somehow couldn't) and The Dead Zone. Damn Anthony Michael Hall growed up good.

I miss my X-Files. Sure there's Stargate SG-1 and soon Stargate Atlantis Rising will be on. Yes I still watch the occasional STNG. I don't want to be stuck with Voyager anymore tho. And I know I'll die a disloyal trekkie's death for this but I'm kinda wishing the original Star Trek would take a break. And I'm really hoping that in some small way the Space Channel will bring back Mulder and Scully for the rabid fan like me. I miss you Mulder and Scully, Space please return them to me!!!!!!!

I've started emailing Space with my plea. Feel free to join in their email is: web@spacecast.com
Thanks! Keep blogging :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:42 PM

she's thought about not understood she's aching to be :
In a month my sister gets another year older. She's already bugging me about what I'm gonna get her. She wants the Pacifier on DVD. I'm busy thinking, “It’s not like you got me anything for my birthday. I had to buy my own cake." I'm big on birthday cake BTW. Just the one thing I think people should get on their birthdays from other people. I don't care about presents so much as the thought that goes into getting a good cake. Being that food is my drug of choice this surprises no one who knows me, not that any of those people read this :) I love that about my blog.

So I was online and about today and saw this hysterical conversation on http://falafelsex.blogspot.com/. I used to work for Wal-Mart. I've been told the Canadian version is horrble compared to the US stores. I wouldn't know, never been to a US Wally World. Then I went and found this comment on http://www.qwmaine.com/ :
And finally, there’s now evidence
that there’s nobody that the
Walmart family won’t destroy in the name of a profit.
Sleep with one eye open, obviously-targeted rest-of-the-family.

I think all Canadian corporations are run badly. It's been my experience there's a lot of management out there that believes their staff is the equivalent of the slaves building the pyramids and they are the pharaohs being honoured by the work. Take that however you like, but I'm not impressed with management much and wish I could magically become a consultant that goes around and teaches management how to be human beings and stop acting like they're monarchy cuz they're not doing the grunt work.
Sorry, I have issues with authority.

Other than that I've been having a guilty giggle at the misfortunes of others. Is this bad karma? I don't know. Gave up the ghost and took the 2 Nintendo GameCube games I was keeping into the local Jumbo Video and sold them for 10 measly bucks. I still have a GameCube and controller here. The cube itself has no power supply or other wires to set it up properly with so I'll probably just give it away at some point. I wonder if I could sell it on E-bay for a season of the X-Files?

Oh, in the mundane triviality of my life I've discovered Pepsi with Lime. It's not as good as regular Pepsi when I put lime juice in it but it's naturally flavoured so it's not giving me hives. Fun fact about me, I have bizarre food allergies that make me break out in hives. I can't eat Texas Carrot Muffins, I can't drink liquor with artificial flavouring in it (Absolut raspberry I mean you), I can't have peanut sauce of any kind, and I can't eat Kikkoman Soya sauce. All hive inducing products. The doctors think I'm nuts when I tell them this but I know what happens when I eat Cajun spice Mahi Mahi at the fish market in the Market in Ottawa. Thank Goodness Shopper's DrugMart is open til midnight.

Keep blogging and may all you food taste good and have zero calories :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:09 PM

28 June 2005

I thought I saw something so I looked, I blinked, then I looked again :
My sincerest compliments to MPH at Heightened Thoughts. Always a good laugh to be had there. Also I found myself linked to in Smaller Thoughts. It's the first link I've found, and I've gotten quite an OCD about my site, so thanks again MPH.

I'm on the bandwagon for 100 compliments in 100 days. Go here to join:

I try to leave compliments/anecdotes/encouragement where ever I go. I don't want to get a rep as a troll and I kind of like the whole "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." idea. Mostly because if I said everything I ever thought I'd have been stabbed, shocked, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. Good on ya if you know where I got this one.

I'm trying to compliment people for the rest of the day so I'd just like to let you know, dear reader, that you sure look good today :)

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:33 PM

NEEDY or why I’m a loner in 1000 words or less :
I have one of those brain-IS-ALWAYS-on problems. I’m always thinking about something. Even when it’s so hot outside it saps my will to live I think about how I’m going to get what I need out of life. I don’t dwell on what I want too much because I’m a product of my environment. I’m deeply consumeristic with a streak of blatant entitlement. I want it all and I want it now. I want everything every fairytale ever promised, I want all that the movies ever said an adult with a job would have. I’m brainwashed by Friends and the fact that everywhere I go I see people who have stuff that I thought I’d have by now and I don’t. I keep saying I can’t afford it but the truth is I don’t want to work that hard.

I could be working 60 hours a week, they really need people to come in and do overtime as they’re training all people on this other campaign (not me tho so I constantly get told about OT). I don’t want to get up for work at 6 am and start my day on the phones at 8. Since I can only work 13 hours a day max, I’d only start that early on Saturdays and my days off. If I did overtime. It seems really attractive while I sit here suffering heat exhaustion, to be at work with AC and making money. I’ve just lost the desire to acquire like that.

For about 6 years I did anything and everything for money and I had no social life but I had tonnes of stuff I thought I wanted. I had clothes, I had the ability to travel and do what I wanted and yet it wasn’t enough. I didn’t stop wanting more because all of it wasn’t making me feel accomplished or happy. I’ve seen the evil of the dollar and I have turned away from it. I guess. But I still need it. I need to eat and I need to live somewhere so I need money to get those things. I’m starting to see the attractiveness of the whole sugar daddy scenario. I don’t think I could really be that kind of girl but the kept woman thing, being a glorious bit on the side or whatever, is starting to make financial if not moral sense to me these days. It really is my work ethic that saves me from turning into a money trollop and darting out to find the first guy with dough I can exploit into keeping me around.

My number one problem is having too much time on my hands. While I’m sitting around thinking about things I can string the musing out into a full-blown scenario and imagine it from every angle. Which is great for a writer but not so great when you turn that corner you couldn’t see past, and wind up staring at a blank wall. It happens to me a lot. I just never imagine what really happens I am too affected by my idea of what I thought should have happened. That’s the sore sticking spot for me.

Some might argue I’m not in touch with reality, which is why it so easily disappoints me. I think it’s the opposite. I know what the reality is, I just want to believe that I really CAN create my own reality and in doing so people will be what I expect them to be. Now that sounds like I’m all about making people to be a certain way, but really I just want them to be what the pretend to be. If you tell me you are going to do something, do it. If you say you are doing something for me, don’t go on and on about how hard it is for you – especially if I NEVER asked for your help. Amazingly enough I am terribly self-sufficient because asking for help from people has always left me doing it myself. How silly of me to think because someone offers to help that they really mean it and will actually help. Reality has other plans that always bring me back to disillusionment with people.

I like people I just don’t know what makes them tick. I can’t believe we en masse are so selfish and self absorbed. Are we really just out for ourselves and fuck everyone else, no matter what lengths you take that ideal too? I’m a hopeless romantic and I do see the good in everyone which is why the ire is so bitter when that person I was liking and wanting to get to know ends up being mean, rude, self involved and churlish to the bone. I don’t want to hang out with people who are all showing me the worst part of myself. How will I ever develop my finer qualities if I never meet anyone out there that has some I can emulate until using them becomes natural to me? Please can someone start being my role model before I sink into despair and become the living embodiment of all the things I just can’t stand?
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 6:13 PM

27 June 2005

Sunday top ten round up, another week bites the dust :
10) God's Hotel - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
9) Street Spirit - Radiohead
8) All I Have to do Is Dream (any version)
7) Shy - Ani DiFranco
6) You Stole the Sun From My Heart - Manic Street Preachers
5) Notorius -Duran Duran
4) Gimme The Light - Sean Paul
3) Anti-pop - Matthew Good Band
2) Purple - Paul Oakenfold/Sasha
1) Don't Cha - The Pussy Cat Dolls

Keep Blogging :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 1:14 AM

24 June 2005

her ego wrote cheques incredibly fast but her personality didn't have the cash :
So because I'm insane I'm working 5 hours today on my day off. I was sick last Saturday for half the day and am making up the time (mostly). I'm not crazy about my job and getting quite addled looking for an alternative. Small towns/big towns - neither is great for job hunting when you have minus connections and plus skills. It's a shame but it really is in whom you know not how good you are at anything. Oh I'm sorry I may be whining.

I've decided that just because I'm willing to openly state the opportunities (hurdles) I have facing me and it's not always easy to put a smiley face on the circumstances I find myself in I don't always do so in a bright shiny optimistic way; it doesn't mean I'm a whiner. Really I'm just talking and I'm not looking for anyone to run out and fix things for me. It would be nice to get a bit of understanding out there in the cold hard world. I can't be THE ONLY ONE who takes shit way too serious and in doing so makes things way harder than they need to be and in the process gets a but frowny faced at the way the grand scheme disintegrated into a big ole pile of horse manuer. (Err I know the spelling's off, sorry.)

My life, so far, has been overly dramatic and maybe I need to go to Mary J. Blige's place and let her teach me all about how I can have no more drama in my life. I may have to go to drama queens' anonymous. I'm not the only one though so I don't feel so single in the experience I've had. Funny that, misery loves company and usually that company has stories a lot like yours. Call it group therapy - Girls getting over drug-addicted drunks. (G-GODAD) Wow I like the acronym even tho it's like totally unintentional. Why am I talking about all this? Well because the 1-year separation part is almost over and now I find out I could have filed the paperwork months ago. I haven't heard from the soon to be officially Ex-Husband in nearly 6 months and I don't want to call him either. I have been wondering why he hasn't called because he has a new woman now and knowing him he's dying to tie her down soon so I'm thinking I should be getting the papers anytime from him.

He has a rich family. They are very litigious so no doubt he's seen a lawyer. I don't want alimony, even though he makes twice as much as me. I want him gone like the bad dream I wish he were. I want to get rid of his name (going to pick a new last name pay to change it legally and then never change it again ever - sorry future husband.) I want to get rid of my wedding gown, even though I love it. I want to burn it and all of the pictures I have of the wedding in effigy to the good times tarnished by the overbearing bad. I don't think my building would like to see that going on on the lawn. I don't want to feel like I wasted my time I want to be positive and want to leave feeling I learned something. Mostly I do but there is some bitter edge in there and I never wanted that. It makes me sad.

Thing is I've been dreaming lately. Not that that's new, I dream all the time. I never dreamed about my husband, not once not ever. Guess that says something as I've had dreams with just about everyone I've ever met in them. I still have dreams where my Dad appears and disapproves of something I'm doing and I just tell him off and do it anyways. I'm still scared of him in my dreams but I take control of my power over myself and do what I want. Anyways what I'm trying to say isn't about standing up to authority figures. It's about waking up laughing.

Now I've woken up from dreams many times feeling things. I've awoken feeling the embrace from a dream, feeling fear and panic I've even woken up crying and so sad it hurt to breathe. I've woken up laughing out loud about 3 times I can remember and 2 of those times happened this week. I feel all weird and creepy when I wake up laughing. First of all I never remember who I was talking too or what was so funny that I laughed like that. It's so weird to wake up laughing. I'm so loud, I actually wake myself up which leaves me feeling like I shouldn't have gone and laughed because I needed to know more and now I was not going to be able to go back to sleep and find out the important thing.

Except - maybe that is the important thing. That I woke up laughing. That no matter how dark the horizon looks in my impeccably focused forward to the financial pitfalls of the future mind. I'm actually pretty happy. It's not the Ritz but I do have a place to live, clothes, food, internet, a decent paying job. I guess I need to be reminded to live now and enjoy that I have things many don't. I didn't get them by chance or inheritance. I worked for all of it, and sometimes I sit here and think damn I'm so material I need to get rid off all of it and go real low tech.

I wouldn't make it, I'd die of a sore ass from sitting on the concrete floor and staring at the bare room imagining all the stuff I used to have before I went crazy and gave my music collection and video/dvd collections away. And let's not forget the tables. I have now 4 tables and assorted plastic storage totes decorating my living space. I still have the borrowed ass chair and no other furniture to sit on should company come by. Good thing I have no friends :) Anyone want this giant glass topped round bamboo/rattan bottomed table? Really it's way too big to be here and I don't know what to do with it. It was given to me and I'm just trying to return the favour.

I have to go soon. Work calls and I don't wanna go, but there is no choice here because I need the money for rent and all that jazz. I'm actually hoping to wake up laughing again soon. It's good for you - laughter :) It's calorie free and causes the good wrinkles and works out the facial muscles. I believe in wrinkles. I don't look my age but even if I did I'd still want to have wrinkles. I like getting older and wiser (I can hope). I like standing up for myself and demanding my credit when it's due and letting the injustices I feel, be known. If that causes me to be seen as a whiner so be it. I never fault people for asking questions but there are those who do and I've been told I complain too much and whine too much but I don't think asking why is this _______ happening? - constitutes whining or complaining. I just want to understand and if others don't understand my curiosity. If it frightens people so bad they have to call me a whiner/complainer - I don't know why. I guess I never learned not to ask why? what? who? how? when? It's all about my inner journalist and then again I have no inner editor so all my complex MUD qualities of optimistic pessimism gel and spew forth into this keening series of questions/complaints - and there is never an answer.

I don't NEED to know everything but I WANT to. I do need a good astronomy map and some one to go stargazing with. I know the big and little dippers, can usually find Orion and Orion's belt and there after am lost. Another thing I have forgotten. See around here there’s less light pollution so I can see the stars while I walk home at night and maybe that's a wonderful thing. I look forward to it these days.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 4:12 PM

22 June 2005

ranting, raving and the rules of music ownership :
I ran into this girl I used to know yesterday and it pissed me off for about 4 hours. Why? We first met over ten years ago, and even though I’m desperate for friends right now, I’d rather put my foot in a meat grinder and grind it off myself than be friends with her again. She was, and it turns out, still is the most selfish self-centered person. Back in the day I lost a good many friends because she decided to tell everyone horrible things about me as payback for me spreading rumours about her behind her back. She later found out it wasn’t me spreading said rumours and her solution to all the strife she had caused? Just pretend it didn’t happen. If she apologized I’d say thank you but I still wouldn’t be her friend. Running into her was like a blast from the past – even though she doesn’t look the same.

See the funny thing is I still look pretty much the same. Still about the same weight and then there’s my tattoos. Anyone who knew me then would recognize them. So like I said, it ticked me off for hours. Mostly because it was like we time warped back and it was all about her again and even though she followed me and made a point of introducing herself – “Do you know me? Probably not I’m bigger now. I have all these neighbours that are always saying how I was so skinny and asking what happened.”

For someone that went to such great lengths to let me know she was there I have to wonder why. It wasn’t to find anything out about me. She didn’t ask how I was or what I’d been up to or if I wanted to catch up sometime. It was just talking about her. Mind you there happened to be some one else there that knew her when, and co-opted the conversation about their good old days. I got to notice how manly this girl’s hands had become; accented by the fact she was wearing a man’s watch. I learned that she has a kid, is doing well for herself, will be around the building (oh joy) and her mom works at Wal-Mart. That means I used to work with her mom. Wonder who that was?

So it threw me off. Mostly because I am a great believer in providence and opportunities and was suddenly wondering what the world was thinking by putting the last person I ever thought about from my past when the word friend comes up – and putting them in my path again. Is this a challenge to my ability forgive and finally forget? Am I supposed to demonstrate how I’ve learned from past mistakes and not take this dare to repeat them? Was it just a freak accident? Should I try to be nice or make every effort to avoid her and become a virtual prisoner to my own apartment? Not a clue here. Not a single clue.

Some might ask why I even care? Well I have learned that things like this, if left to themselves, can only get worse. Where as having a plan of attack minimizes the surprise factor and makes things easier to deal with. The basic laws of packing apply well to relationships that aren’t that good. Yes I would about kill to have someone around town to do things with but even that doesn’t stop me from wanting to slap her flightly subject smiley face and demand an apology for all the shit she caused me back then. Ok maybe this is all about forgiveness and I need to just act like all that went on before didn’t happen, but then how do I learn from my own mistakes?

Answer that grasshopper and the world is yours to command.

I bought the Killer’s cd the other day. I figure it met the requirements I have in place for new music. I had heard and liked three songs and the cd was there, it was well pried. Now I’ve only listened to half the cd but so far I’m really reminded of Robert Smith of the Cure by the vocals and the synthesizers remind me a bit of Duran Duran, the Smiths and the Cure. Err maybe I’m stretching here but I don’t think so. This is all after only half the cd so my opinion may change and I don’t know all the words yet so I can’t say who/what the writing reminds me of.

I do have to wonder what’s up with Eric Roberts though. Now I’ve known about Eric Roberts since I had a brief love affair with Chuck Norris-esque martial arts movies in the 1980’s. I still can’t see the family resemblance between Eric and Julia but then I’ve never seen either of them together at the same time. And what –pray tell – does this have to do with the Killers? Well Eric plays the cuckold in the Killer’s Mr. Brightside video. He also plays the same role in 2 Mariah Carey videos, most notably We Belong Together (ok I don’t remember the name of the other song). I’m thinking it’s good exposure to a new audience being in all these glossy videos for hip music makers but really why always the dumb guy? First the self absorbed Will on Less Than Perfect and now the cuckold? How The Best of The Best has fallen.

Being that I have this hard and fast rule about liking and knowing 3 songs off an album before getting it, does anyone know if Athlete is worth the risk? I’ve only heard one song so far, on MuchMusic to boot. I liked it but can’t get the name of it to stay in my head. My rule has saved me from owning every cd from every artist that I ever heard a song I like from. This is why I love compilations, I can get the songs I like without getting stuck with an entire cd of stuff I have no use for, just for one song.

It doesn’t work so well for bands I really like. It didn’t save me from getting the last 2 U2 cd’s. I grew into liking All That You Can’t Leave Behind. I don’t know if I’ll grow into liking How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. I know U2 rock live, they could set their laundry list to music and it’d be awesome live. Cd’s just don’t compare. Next time I’m holding out for the rule though, won’t get fooled again.

U2 happens to be the only band I haven’t bought the greatest hits from. I was such a fan at first that I got everything I could, every album, cd, vinyl single, cassette and interview disk I could get. I didn’t need to get the greatest hits I already have all of them. I have bought greatest hits for everyone else though. I keep getting the Fleetwood Mac greatest hits, let’s face it I’ll probably never see them live so that is a must and then the other greatest hits have different hits on them. Yeah I know I’m a musical pack rat. I’m already planning on getting the new Def Leppard Greatest hits, The Offspring’s and Pearl Jam’s, I have the Leppard collection Vault but the new one has more songs all in one package. It’s almost getting to the point where I’m seriously questioning my commitment to my vinyl collection. Do I really need to keep it, it’s so heavy and hard to move and store and I can’t even play it for I have a 40 dollar stereo with no turn table. It’ll be a while before that happens, gotta get the e-bay account first :)

One last thing, as I sit here doing the laundry (again? I know and I'm not even a clothes horse) and revisiting season 1 of The Pretender, I understand why I like learning so much. The idea of the show is there's this guy who's super smart and he can be anything all he needs to do is a little reading and he can bluff his way through with confidence and panache. I knew Michael T. Weiss from Days of Our Lives and so it wasn't hard for me to follow him to primetime. A soap hunk and a good premise, I was there. I don't know who I wanted to be more, the pretender, the one who could do anything at all just by trying - or Ms. Parker. I wanted to look like Andrea Parker and I still do. She's maintainded herself well and she does for the power suit what Scully never managed to IMHO - she makes it look cool. That's me: always looking for role models on television. No wonder I'm so LOST :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:46 PM

21 June 2005

I promised you movies and here it is in meme form :
1. Copy the entire list to your own blog.
2. Highlight the movies you've seen.
3. Add five others you've seen to the end of the list (and bold them)

1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. Saw
3. White Noise
4. White Oleander
5. Anger Management
6. 50 First Dates

7. Jason
8. Scream
9. Scream 2
10. Scream 3
11. Scary Movie
12. Scary Movie 2
13. Scary Movie 3
14. American Pie
15. American Pie 2
16. American Wedding
17. Harry Potter
18. Harry Potter 2
19. Harry Potter 3
20. Resident Evil I
21. Resident Evil 2 (aka RE: Apocalypse)
22. The Wedding Singer
23. Little Black Book
24. The Village
25. Donnie Darko

26. Lilo & Stitch
27. Finding Nemo
28. Finding Neverland
29. 13 Ghosts
30. Signs

31. The Grinch
32. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The Original)
33. White Chicks
34. Butterfly Effect
35. 13 going on 30
36. I, Robot
37. Dodgeball
38. Universal Soldier

39. A Series Of Unfortunate Events
40. Along Came A Spider
41. Deep Impact
42. Kingpin
43. Never Been Kissed
44. Meet The Parents
45. Meet The Fockers

46. Eight Crazy Nights
47. A Cinderella Story
48. The Terminal
49. The Lizzie McGuire Movie

50. Passport to Paris
51. Dumb & Dumber
52. Dumb & Dumberer
53. Final Destination
54. Final Destination 2
55. Halloween
56. Halloween 2
57. Halloween 3
58. Halloween 4
59. Halloween 5
60. H20
61. Halloween: the Resurrection
62. The Ring

63. The Ring 2
64. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
65. Practical Magic

66. Chicago
67. Ghost Ship
68. From Hell
69. Team America: World Police
70. Hellboy
71. Secret Window

72. I Am Sam
73. The Whole Nine Yards
74. The Day After Tomorrow
75. Child's Play
76. Bride of Chucky
77. Ten Things I Hate About You
78. Just Married
79. Gothika
80. A Nightmare on Elm Street
81. Sixteen Candles
82. Bad Boys 2
83. Joy Ride
84. Seven
85. Oceans Eleven
86. Oceans Twelve
87. Identity
88. Lone Star
89. Bedazzled
90. Predator
91. Predator II
92. Independence Day
93. Cujo

94. A Bronx Tale
95. Darkness Falls
96. Christine
97. ET
98. Children of the Corn
99. My Boss' Daughter
100. Maid in Manhattan
101. Frailty

102. Best bet
103. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
104. She's All That

105. Calendar Girls
106. Sideways
107. Mars Attacks
108. Event Horizon
109. Ever After
110. Forrest Gump
112. Big Trouble in Little China
113. X-Men
114. X-Men 2
115. Jeepers Creepers

116. Jeepers Creepers 2
117. Catch Me If You Can
118. The Others
119. Freaky Friday
120. Reign of Fire
121. Man on Fire
122. Braveheart
123. Cruel Intentions
124. The Hot Chick
125. Swimfan

126. Miracle
127. Friday Night Lights
128. Old School
129. Ray
130. The Notebook
131. K-Pax
132. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
133. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
134. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

135. A Walk to Remember
136. Sweet Home Alabama
137. Moulin Rouge
138. Boogeyman
139. Hitch

140. Back Door Sluts 9
141. The Fifth Element
142. Star Wars episode I
143. Star Wars episode II
144. Star Wars episode IV
145. Star Wars episode V
146. Star Wars episode VI
147. Troop Beverly Hills
148. Swimming with Sharks
149. Trainspotting
150. People under the stairs
151. Blue Velvet
152. The Sound of Music
153. Parent Trap - either version
154. The Burbs

155. SLC Punk
156. Meet Joe Black
157. Wild Girls
158. A Clockwork Orange
159. The Order
160. Spiderman
161. Spiderman 2

162. Amelie
163. Mean Girls
164. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
165. Shrek
166. Shrek 2
167. The Incredibles
168. Collateral
169. The Fast & The Furious

170. 2 Fast 2 Furious
171. Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
172. Closer
173. The Sixth Sense
174. Artificial intelligence
175. Love, Actually
176. The Sweetest Thing
177. Shutter
178. Ella Enchanted
179. Princess Diaries 1

180. Princess Diaries 2
181. The Breakfast Club
182. October Sky
183. Remember the Titans
184. Titanic

185. Boondock Saints
186. American History X - there's an X in the title, yo.
187. Fight Club
188. Heavenly Creatures
189. Stealing Beauty
190. Like Water For Chocolate

191. Powwow Highway
192. Secretary
193. But I'm A Cheerleader
194. I <3 Huckabees

195. Ripley's Game
196. Coffee And Cigarettes
197. Taxi Driver
198. Silence Of The Lambs
199. The Exorcist
200. If Lucy Fell
201. Lady Jane
201. When Harry met Sally
202. Me, Myself & Irene

203. Kung Fu Hustle
204. Sin City
205. Labyrinth
206. Much Ado About Nothing
207. The Cowboy Way

208. Paulie
209. Blazing Saddles
210. Galaxy Quest
211. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
212. Citizen Kane
213. You Can Count on Me
214. Young Frankenstein
215. Raiders of the Lost Ark
216. Starman
217. St. Elmos Fire
218. Coyote Ugly
219. The Other Sister
220. Rainman
221. Little Shop of Horrors
222. Chasing Amy
223. House of Sand and Fog
224. Mildred Pierce
225. The Big Lebowski
226. Mallrats
227. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
228. The Goonies

229. Starsky & Hutch
230. Saved!
231. The Upside of Anger
232. Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song
233. The Cat's Meow
234. The Rutles
235. Waking Ned Devine
236. Pirates of the Caribbean
237. Little Women
238. Huck Finn
239. National Treasure
240. Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
241. Dick
242. Howard the Duck
243. Garden State
244. Hero
245. Spinal Tap
246. Almost Famous
247. Before Sunrise

248. Before Sunset
249. Troy
250. Gone With The Wind
251. Chocolat
252. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
253. Now and Then
254. Romeo and Juliet (any version)
255. Ferris Bueler's Day Off
256. Grease
257. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
258. Mr. North
259. The African Queen
260. The Wizard of Oz

261. Country Girl
262. The Philadelphia Story
263. Bringing Up Baby
264. The Aviator
265. An Affair to Remember
266. Sabrina (any version)
267. Holiday
268. Conspiracy Theory
269. Stage Door
270. Rigaletto
271. White Christmas
272. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
273. The Wedding Planner
274. Arsenic and Old Lace

275. A Day at the Races
276. Willy Wonka
277. Bend it Like Beckham

278. Star Wars Episode III
279. A Beautiful Mind
280. Urban Legend
281. The Dead Poet's Society
282. Kill Bill vol. 1
283. Kill Bill vol. 2

284. The Royal Tenenbaums
285. The Life Aquatic
286. American Beauty

287. A Chorus Line
288. Iron Jawed Angels
289. Phantom of the Opera
290. A League of their Own
291. Stuart Little
292. Notting Hill

293. A Lot Like Love
294. Along came Polly
295. Billy Madison
296. Happy Gilmore
297. A Hard Day's Night
298. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

299. The Motorcycle Diaries
300. Y Tu Mama Tambien
301. Bokura no War Game
302. Raise Your Voice
303. The Birds
304. Camp Nowhere
305. Billy Elliot
306. Anchorman
307. The Crow

308. *62
309. Queen Of The Damned
310. Jumanji
311. Gattaca
312. Benny and Joon
313. Tank Girl
314. Monty Python: The Meaning of Life
315. A Knight's Tale
316. Anastasia

317. Unconditional Love
318. Casablanca
319. About A Boy
320. Bridget Jones's Diary
321. Bridget Jones's Diary: The Edge of Reason

322. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
323. House of Flying Daggers
324. Legally Blonde
325. Sense and Sensibility

326. School of Rock
327. It Could Happen to You
328. Wilde
329. Dark City
330. Home Fries
331. House Arrest
332. Leon: The Professional
333. Rear Window
334. The Nightmare Before Christmas

335. Dead Alive
336. Interview with The Vampire
337. 28 Days Later

338. Bringin' Down the House
339. Gladiator
340. Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Forum
341. Only You
342. What Women Want
343. Demon Knight
344. Sean of the Dead
345. The Princess Bride
346. Aliens
347. The Blues Brothers
348. Mystery, Alaska
349. Beetlejuice
350. Big Fish

351. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
352. The Game
353. The Ususal Suspects
354. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
355. The Last Seduction
356. Dogma
357. The Hot Chick
358. From Dusk til Dawn
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:44 PM

20 June 2005

Sunday Top Ten Trio :
A bit late but here they is the mind's jukebox top pics.

10) Don't Cha - Pussy Cat Dolls
9) Believe - The Chemical Brothers
8) 1 2 Step - Ciara
7) Street Spirit - Radiohead
6) Accidentally In Love - The Counting Crows
5) Chemicals Between Us - Bush
4) Violet - Hole
3) Gimme The Light - Sean Paul
2) Força - Nelly Furtado
1) Closest Thing To Crazy -Katie Melua

Goodnight. Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:23 AM

18 June 2005

I'm an 80's baby: much Love to John Hughes, John Cusack and The TOP 40 :
The Breakfast Club:

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us, as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out, is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

I’m a fan of The Breakfast Club. In general I enjoyed all those 1980’s teen angst films. I could find something to relate to in almost any character. I have to admit I didn’t really relate to either of the characters in Say Anything, but I’m a hopeless romantic so the movie was worth viewing. The Breakfast Club, on the other hand, really hit home. Not only could I see myself in them then, today I can almost tell you how much of my personality was what character – almost to the ounce. Scary thought I know.

So being that, for eighties kids, TBC defined your type I’m here to tell you who I was back then (and in someways still am today- do we ever grow up?). Way back when I lived with my folks and went to school and generally hated being alive on a whole new level, there was this movie. I saw TBC before I saw Sixteen Candles, so when I saw Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall together in Sixteen Candles I thought wow these guys did 2 movies together that’s great. It didn’t occur to me that Anthony Michael Hall had changed all that much from one picture to another or that one would have been released before the other. Teen Angst Self Absorption at full throttle.

Now where I grew up we didn’t lack for teen magazines even though we had no radio station, movie theatre or much mainstream media at first. Then the town bought a satellite dish and began ‘stealing’ signals and broadcasting it to everyone in town. That was until some ‘nice person’ wrote a thank you letter that was published in the town paper and got back to the ‘authorities’ down south and then we had a brand spanking new cable company and everyone had to pay for the previously free goods. It’s basic economic principles at work here, supply the drug for free and when they’re hooked start charging. 'Nice person’ was never forgiven.

And so it came to be that American movies came to my television. I’d watch anything and everything. I wasn’t allowed to watch the horror movies at first, or anything with sex in it. But Dad and Mum, being the drinkers they were - it was easy to get around them. People in town went through phases of loving Footloose and Flashdance. I remember those emulations so well. No one wanted to emulate the kids of TBC though, it all hit too close to home. Everyone vehemently denied being like any of the characters and did everything they could to forget the movie existed. It was almost like a scandalous thing to have seen and embraced TBC and to identify yourself with any of the characters.

I loved it. I still love it. I still have friends that want to tell me that they cannot identify with any of TBC people and I know they’re lying. See what I find great about The Breakfast Club is that you don’t have to be 100% anyone character; you could be some bit off all of them. Back then I was equal parts The Brain and The Basketcase with a heavy dose of The Criminal’s attitude and a sprinkle of The Jock’s need to please thrown in. All I wanted was to be The Princess. That never happened.

The first times I saw the movie I related so closely to Ally Sheedy’s character Alison that I wished I was Ally Sheedy. At least she got friends and looked good by the end. I spent high school feeling ignored by everyone, friends and family alike. I was a mean girl in my own private judgmental way, but I also craved attention and would do anything to get it. I wasn’t a nymphomaniac, didn’t see a shrink and to this day have never gone to detention for anything, not even a lark.

(I got detention in grade 3 because someone stole a library book I took out after I had returned it. That doesn’t count.)

As I got older I could see more of Anthony Michael Hall’s Brian in my personality. The need to succeed became very apparent to me in my 20’s. My cynical and angry side, akin to Judd Nelson’s Bender, also became very apparent. I still wanted with all my heart to be like Molly Ringwald’s Claire. I don’t and never have seen myself as athletic; so I had a hard time seeing myself as Emilio Estevez’s Jock. I see it now because I had to come to terms with my need to please and be what other people wanted me to be. I got some Oprah learning on that one. I’m still not athletic but the reasons The Jock tapes Larry’s butt cheeks together are just the same as why I went to school for so long and ended up so much in debt and still wondering what I wanted. I did it because I didn’t want to let anyone down, I wanted to be what people expected me to be. Just like The Jock, I needed to make everyone proud or they wouldn’t love me anymore.

Claire was the one I didn’t identify with. As the only person I didn’t really get she was the one I most wanted to be. Because she was nothing like me, my teenage addled brain insisted, she must be perfect. To this day I have a sneaking suspicion that when I dye my hair red it’s because I’m emulating Molly Ringwald, not because a red bob makes people think of Scully when they see me. It’s usually just a passing thought of Claire. I think about it now because there’s been so much to do about the actors getting together for the MTV awards as they received a trophy for TBC. Judd and Emilio weren’t there. Too bad for them I think.

Everyone looked great. Of course Anthony Michael Hall is all over tv with the Dead Zone, so everyone knows he grew up well. Ally’s dress was awesome and Molly looked good in her pink dress. I don’t like pink. Everyone was hoping to see the whole gang together again but it didn’t happen and I don’t miss the two who didn’t show up much. There’s a series of b-horror movies that you can see Judd Nelson in anytime and Emilio has the Mighty Ducks if you need to see him. For me the most important parts of the movie were there. The ones I thought I was and the one I wanted most to be.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:07 PM

17 June 2005

these are the days of our lives they've flown in the swiftness of time :
So here I am on my one day off trying to get all my bills paid, the groceries bought, the friends caught up with, the cleaning done. I have to be all over town in 5 minutes and straighten out a banking mess over the phone 5 minutes before the bank closes. And this is my day off?

I'm still mystified by figuring out how to make my webpage look the way I want it to. I guess the world of coding pages passed me by during the last few years and now I don't know how to catch up. Anyone coming by who knows a trick or two drop me a line so maybe I can get my site looking shippty ship shape.

In other news I'm having a good day. Got a haircut, rented a few movies and I haven't seen an ant in days. Still gonna stock up on raid tho. Anyone out there who knows a better way to get rid of them permanently then leave it at the comments k? Oh yea and todays poll question is should I bleach my hair blonde? For those of you wondering about waht colour it was it was red. Now that I've got a decent it's in desperate need of a definitive colour choice as half red and half strawberry blonde doesn't cut it. At least not for me.

To add to the general post cereal type day I got carded twicw after getting my hair cut, and you can see my grey hair too. It wasn't all bad and I'm going to have a laugh and then go to sleep as I have to be at work at 8 am, have I mentioned how MUCH I detest this shift? Really I totally HATE it. I'm SO NOT a morning person.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:40 PM

14 June 2005

My sincerest appologies to Henry Mancini and fans of his everwhere :
As I sit here nervously twitching and convinced I see things, little things at that, moving everwhere I compulsively repeat "dead ant, dead ant, dead ant." I Have inhaled too much RAID and the fact the sun came out today and the humidity held despite the torrential rain preceeding the sun. Well I can't open the windows but I won't have ants overrunning my place either.

I think I'd be less addled if I had anything to eat in the house that didn't have to be cooked in the oven thereby increasing the heat to sauna proportions. Minus the steam of course. Simply unappealing this all is. I can't say that enough. The idea little creatures are crawling all over me while I sleep. EWWW doesn't describe it. It never has and never will. Shudders abound.

The thing that's irking me the most is that they are not to be found anywhere near the food in the house. What's up with that? I don't claim to be an ant expert but aren't they pretty much looking for food, so why oh why do they haunt my livingroom and bedroom. They even haunt the front hall. Not the kitchen tho. Any ideas?

Anyways not wanting to have my puter burst into flames I'll be off now. Catch ya later. I'll be back. Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 6:56 PM

13 June 2005

I fear for my life this road is poison :
So I'm daring a mfully computer meltdown to nring you this Sunday's to ten. Just so you know I went and had my site rated and it's only 35% evil so I guess I'm not the BIG BAD after all.

I'll be really impressed if anyone can figure out whose song, and what song the title comes from.


10) We Belong Together - Mariah Carey (it was inevitable it's everywhere andso stuck in my head)
9) Sulk - Radiohead
8) Change of Season - Matthew Good
7) Caruso - Florent Pagny
6) Twitch - Bif Naked
5) Maybe An Angel - Heather Nova
4) Tear In Your Hand - Tori Amos
3) o bla di o bla da - The Beatles
2) Rebellion (Lies) - The Arcade Fire
1) Bulletproof - Blue Rodeo

Now if I had more time to listen to the radio I'd have more selection and stuff that's not so 'old. Also I enjoy Canadian music so if there's someone here you don't recognise that may be the reason. Happy blogging !!!!!!!!!!!!
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:42 AM

10 June 2005

Tonight's fifteen minutes of 'fame' :
Well I've got 15 minutes before I have to go to bed so I can get up and be nice to people over the phone without cussing a blue streak when they're on hold or they bug me - which somedays is never but lately has been often. I'm not an 8 am person. If my shift was anythime later I could definitely make it but I got screwed and forced into working Saturdays at 8 am. The managers of my workplace are lower life forms that I won't even deem to talk to. Never gonna get that raise but then, like they want anyone to get one.

I want to give a big shout out to Valhalla Shoes - you can find the link in the blog roll. Very interesting things going on over there, please click the link and check it out. Also I'd like to acknowledge everyone who's come by and taken a look and especially left a comment. By Tuesday night I'll have more poetry up and probably something more interesting to say.

Being that we're in the middle of the smog/humidex/thunderstorm warning zone of Canada these days I'm starting to feel I NEED AC. I hate AC, the waste of electricity alone makes me feel nauseous. However I love my PC and I can't blog on days like this when the heat is on because it'll double the heat of my place (1 box fan does not an ice palace make) and it'll eventually fry more than just the mouse port on my motherboard. That being said AC (air conditioning) really kills me because I have sinus allergies and it seems to make them worse. Go figure.

Anyhoo if I can find one on sale or free then I may lug it back here and put it into the window and pray it will help me sleep and blog. I'll just have to do it with everything else turned off so I can keep the hydro use to a minimum.

Wish me mice callers. Keep blogging!!!!!!
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:44 PM

09 June 2005

well it seems my browser is possessed by this place :
I'm up and at 'em for a 10 hour shift of constant yakking. I was oh so happy to see people came by and left comments. It's the little things that keep me going :)

Before I go off on my Thursday I always go here: http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/ so I have something to think about for the day/week. I'm not totally into the whole horoscopes thing but it can be so fun to see what they say. Also I like Rob's take on the whole astrology thing. Because it's Freewill it's up to you how you take it so it's a lot less like "this is gonna happen, accept it" and more like "Think about this for a bit, want it to happen? Make it." I like that.

I've been having this freaky thing going on where after I leave her my browser suddenly starts shooting up these Not Found On Blogger pages. Even if I'm far away from this site on the other side of the internet they start showing up and I can't get rid of them. Has anyone else had this happen? Do you suppose Blogger is trying to tell me something? What do you suppose that is? I'd hazard to say it's that email and dating online isn't as important as exisitng on Blogger but that's just way to existential for me today, it's too early for Cronenbergian type coincidences and if I dwell on it I may start to believe that the Matrix has me and the monitors at work are watching me.

Oh yea did I mention that I have a VIVID imagination?

See ya later!!!! Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:18 AM

From The Fully Loaded Mind Of :
Today I ws thinking if I were so lucky as to have 2 people in the world who could and would attest to my ability to write well and politically well I'd apply for the job at the Talking Points Memo. Now the fact that I haven't written anything vaguely politcal or even well researched since school is putting me off a bit. That I get lost if you spin me around a bit (no matter where I am)doesn't keep me from thinking I could Live in NYC if needed. The big stumbling block I see here is the references. Uh ok I'm so in need of a change of pace. I wonder if you can intern at TPM? Maybe I'll ask if I get the balls up.

So I was over at Matt Good's blog today. I read his most recent post and thought something I've thought a lot in regards to things Mr. Good puts in his songs or on his blog - you read my mind. I think he should apply for the job at TPM. Don't know if he wants to give up his BC lifestyle for the East Coast tho.

I was thinking how when my mind wanders and I'm talking I develop a lisp. Say it with me Nee thaaan (Nissan). That sounds oh so professional :) Of course I shudder at the thought that being a tele-monkey is my profession. It's just something I do to pay the bankruptcy trustee and eat and blog. Ah the simple things. If only I didn't have to make 200+ calls in under 6 hours to earn my daily bread. Well I'm grateful to be here and employed.

I was thinking how I was wasting my time getting in extra hours in a place with bad air, bad attitudes and four people who quit just today. I wondered again how come I still feel the 'culture shock' of being a small town Manitoba girl in Eastern Ontario. It really is a different reality and people just don't know how good they have it. Oh yea sure I bitch and complain but I came back to it even after swearing I was a westerner for good and ever and moving back to the 'Peg.

I was thinking how Tori Amos confuses me. I listen to her songs and I don't "get" them at the time. If I buy her new cd a few years later tho, it all makes sense. I remember getting Little Earthquakes when it first came out and liking her cover of Smell's Like Teen Spirit - it was only ever on the radio I heard that song. I still put Little Earthquakes on and sing along. On the days when I'm about town and randomly singing pieces of songs like I do the Tori song that I find myself singing the most is Tear In Your Hand. It's either the balck of the blackest ocean part or the pieces of me you've never seen, maybe she's just peices of me you've never seen.

I was thinking I need to change the title of this blog to be more representative of me. Then I up and forgot what I decided to call it. He he he he, only in Canada you say? Pity. I was thinking The AMBER Room. The Tsars/Czars had one and I do too. Well not literally. I often find it odd that the literal meaning of my name is petrified tree sap. What was it so scared of? Oh yea, Jack Handy has nothing on me.

I was mostly thinking how making friends is such an arbitrary thing. Sometimes you keep running into the same people over and again and can't stand any of them. Other times you wonder how you lost touch with that nice one and what they're up to today. I've tried googling my past but it doesn't have a web presence. I guess I won't get any email from the ghost in the machine then :)

Well I've succeeded in doing the laundry and so I'm going to toddle off and dream bright shiny hollywood star infested dreams. Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:05 AM

08 June 2005

Go here watch this :
It's so cute and then again not:
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:44 PM

woke up in my clothes again this morning :
don't know exactly where I am
I should heed my doctor's warning
he does the best with me he can
he claims I suffer from delusions
I'm so confident I'm sane
it can't be no optical illusion
how do you explain
shadows in the rain?

So I'm sitting here breathing a sigh of relief that my computer stopped having seizures and commenced to working again.

I just want to say sorry to any of the people who read my atom feed, it didn't occur to me what the funny quiz picture results would look like in a plain text feed. I'm new here, please forgive me.

I currently have the above song in my head. It just started up with that zippy sax and won't stop. It's because I'm wondering how to get more people to come by here and I'm not sure how to do it. It was nice of a while people came by and left comments, I guess there's not much exciting here now because no one comments. I could try to be more thought provoking. I could go on a rant about the government and the status of the world - but I'm a jaded History major and that said I will segue into another Sting song. History Will Teach Us Nothing. Unfortunate but true.

My biggest wonder right now is if I could actually churn out something interesting and readable for the 3 day novel contest. It's become my new obsession since I read about it the other day on (you guessed it) someone else's blog. I think I'm going to start leaving comments on every blog I read a sentence of, maybe that'll get people to come by and comment to me.

I'm thinking of changing the SAY SOMETHING GOOD part to read SENT A POSTCARD. Give me your opinion.

So now I'm gonna talk about tv. Since it's late and I'm doing my duty to stay up so I don't get too sleepy at work, I have little to choose from to watch. I don't have digital cable so I don't have a wide selection to watch. I can watch CSI Miami, but I don't like it as much as CSI or CSI NY. I wanted to like it but it never grew on me like the others. I just like the characters in CSI and CSI NY more. If I wait a bit longer Craig Ferguson and his sexy brogue will come one. I think he's great but I must admit I wondered if he wasn't picked because his name is Craig. Less changing to do with the title and all that, branding raising its ugly head.

I'm totally into Veronica Mars. It's a great show with solid ideas, plots and cast. I love NCIS. But I'd watch anything you put Mark Harmon in. I've been a BIG fan since St. Elsewhere, and I never got that show all I remember is Mark was in it. I was too young for it then. I can't boycott CBS because of this and CSI. I want to because of what they did to my fave Friday night show, Joan of Arcadia. Things were just getting good and there was a defined bad guy and the promise of interesting things to come. I signed up to save Joan because interesting philosophical, think for yourself programs about life and what we choose to believe/do; well they don't come along ever. Usually any show about God makes my skin crawl. Unless it's some educational history type program. Like those, but there's usually a skin crawling factor related to what was done during those times. Go here to save good tv http://www.savejoanofarcadia.com/

So since I'll watch anything Mark Harmon is in I'm stuck with CBS. Still wishing them problems with Friday nights. I like Numb3rs enough. Rob Morrow still reminds me of Northern Exposure, it's his voice. Peter MacNicol is great as a better (less bizarre) oddball. Ally McBeal made me wonder if he'd ever get another role that wasn't so over the top. Typecasting and all.

Of course, in my humble opinion, there are no really sexy dudes about for me to drool over. I wanted to be Scully for years, David Duchovny rocks! I have followed John Corbett around the dial since I saw him in Northern Exposure. I'm glad David Boreanaz is coming back, but I fear for the show already. Eliza Dushku's Tru Calling died. I'm sad Eyes was cancelled, it was cheeky and so much fun. I wasn't happy when that Matthew Foz detective show was cancelled (I wanted to know what was going on there) but now he's LOST and I'm having fun with that. I think Jason Lee is coming to primetime with something. I like him, I hope it stays on. I also liked Fast Eddie and that got cancelled way back when. I don't have the same tastes as everyone, that's for sure. I detest Everybody Loves Raymond. I think I'll like Everybody Hates Chris though. C'mon it's Chris Rock.

I've seen the Bad Girl's Guide. It kills the time but I don't know if I like it or not. Too early to tell. I watch Girlfriends and America's Next Top Model and will probably watch an episode or 3 of Big Brother this summer. Only so I know who everyone's talking about when I'm at work. Plus I want to pick who I think will win, then see if I'm right. Gotta have something to do with my spare time.

Happy times in tvland. See ya.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:34 AM

07 June 2005

Because you WANTED to know :) :
You're Bauhaus, the grandfather's of goth. You
probably don't call yourself a goth...but that
just makes you cooler. Nice boots, by the way

What Goth Band Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Your wise quote is: "Our greatest glory is not
in never falling, but in rising everytime we
fall" by Confucius.
Yes indeed, you see true strenght can only be
seen when a person has "fallen". Only
then one can tell how they will handle it. Just
don't make others fall so you can know who they
really are. You on the other hand may be a very
quick recoverer and don't let people bring you
down. You are your own, and you're find with
that. Emotional issues is something you handle
rather nicely.

What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
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?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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ghost writer Ambrrrr at 1:32 PM

As usual something I stole from another blog :

100 Things...

1. I have flat feet.
2. I collect slogan pins.
3. I’m a fan, and if I’m your fan (celebrity or not) I’ll keep in touch.
4. I graduated from Queen’s University (which is supposed to be impressive).
5. I’ve won poetry awards.
6. I don’t like talking about myself in person.
7. I have 5 tattoos and want 4 more.
8. My favourite T-shirt was balck and had a white line on it that, when you got up real close, turned out to say Nosy Little Fucker Aren’t Ya?.
9. I was born in January.
10. I was always the oldest, tallest, smartest kid in my class.
11. I learned to be a slacker to stop getting bullied and it never wore off.
12. I have a learning disability.
13. I think I have the best Julia Roberts-esque laugh.
14. I always wanted to be a radio dj.
15. I have written over 1145 poems in my life.
16. The only short story I ever finished writing was for a high school English class and I got the only 100% the teacher said he EVER gave out.
17. I’ve been mortally afraid to let myself BE a writer.
18. I’m still terrified of failure.
19. I have seen every episode of the X-Files more than twice.
20. I never liked Seinfeld.
21. I failed a grade 7 class called Life.
22. I like to read and write.
23. I was always the last picked.
24. I always want to be the best.
25. Being a perfectionist has made me way too hard on myself.
26. I don't smoke.
27. I don't really drink much.
28. I love to cook but not for myself alone.
29. I regularily give things up for Lent – even though I’m not religious.
30. I will willing go to the movies to see any special effects blockbuster that comes out– I love them!
31. All of my role models are men.
32. I clean up good.
33. I dress up for Christmas Eve even when I don’t go out or am all alone.
34. I don’t really like Turkey dinners.
35. I love decorating.
36. I love Sci-Fi.
37. I believe that everyone should have a cake on their birthday.
38. When I was a kid there was a snowstorm every year on my birthday.
39. My friends tell me I'm too nice.
40. I am too nice.
41. I can think on my feet.
42. I believe in second chances, but I don’t give thirds anymore.
43. I can make balloon animals.
44. I love to take pictures but never have any recent ones of myself.
45. I love mixed tapes, compilation cd’s and webradio for randomness.
46. I’ve always wanted to go to the Reading Festival.
47. I can listen to men with certain accents talk forever and will follow them home if allowed.
48. I love to learn.
49. I’m fascinated by people.
50. I scare people because of that fascination.
51. When I’m sick my right eye wanders.
52. I can’t draw a straight line.
53. I've got rhythm and I know I can dance.
54. Growing up all my friends’ parents hated me.
55. Later they told me they wished their kids were like me.
56. I have a problem with authority.
57. No one ever believes my age.
58. I’ve been told I sing beautifully.
59. I’ve been told I sing like a cat being strangled (not at the same time).
60. I don’t like being fat, but I am.
61. I don’t like people judging me because of my weight.
62. I want Oprah to send me to bootcamp (hell she can adopt me).
63. I want to travel the world before I die.
64. The most exotic place I’ve ever been to is Daytona Beach during Spring Break.
65. I am the first person in my family to graduate from high school, college and university.
66. I have broken hearts.
67. I have had my heart broken.
68. I think I know how to forgive now.
69. I can be loud.
70. I love giving/getting hugged.
71. I have excellent night vision.
72. I don’t want to get laser eye surgery because it can impair night vision.
73. I can roll my tongue.
74. I freckle and I love it.
75. My grandmother knew Lizzie Borden.
76. I break into spontaneous song at work.
77. I know 'I can’t' is a cop out.
78. I believe in freedom of choice.
79. I'm always afraid of missing opportunities.
80. I think we need to be more polite to one another and look out for each other.
81. I am all by myself.
82. I don't believe awkward situations would exist if people just tried.
83. I know trying is the hardest thing in the world to do.
84. I wish the words “I don’t have to” didn’t exist.
85. I really enjoy live concerts.
86. Rootbeer makes me goofy.
87. I have no tact.
88. I want to do everything myself, even if I let you do it for me.
89. I collect postcards.
90. I hope for everyone the best things in life.
91. I want to own a car because I love to drive.
92. I am working class poor and always have been.
93. I dream I’m floating a lot.
94. I dream in colour and black and white.
95. I love hotels and riding the elevators in them for hours.
96. I will get on a bus just to see where it goes.
97. I didn't used to drink a lot of water, but now I drink it all the time.
98. I hate roller coasters but I’m also drawn to them.
99. I have a phobia and can’t swim alone.
100. I think you should make a list too.

I got this here.

ghost writer Ambrrrr at 2:28 AM

05 June 2005

All I WANT is a page HIT :
So I know I've got too much time on my hands. I'm like jonesing to see my page hit counter go up a number. Since I'm a rank web search amatuer I can't find this page on a web search and so I'm mildly surprised anyone else has been by here. Suprised but still hoping for more people to find the place and leave comments :)

He he he, my little slice of superstardom.

Onto something I'm going to try to keep up, my Sunday Top 10. Also Known As the Top 10 songs playing in my head and on my stereo.


10) Mercy - Pilate
9) 1Thing - Amerie
8) All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
7) Time - Chantal Kreviazuk
6) He Wasn't - Avril Lavigne
5) Clocks - Coldplay
4) Rebellion (Lies) - The Arcade Fire
3) Whiter Sahde of Pale - Procol Harem
2) Be Yourself - Audioslave
1) A Boy and His Machine Gun - Matthew Good Band

The weird thing is that I'm either thinking about or singing peices of these songs all day long. Usually it's because some part of the song is caught in a mental loop and the parts all run together forming their own tune of sorts. Mental sampling if you will. Have fun, keep blogging :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:33 PM

What I learned from Buffy THE Vampire Slayer :
(Disclaimer: I don't live my life by this show I'm just having fun.)

In no particular order(spot the episode names):

* Friends are necessary, they tell the hard truths and save your ass
* Blondes kick ass
* Beer Bad
* School Hard
* Not everything is clear cut
* Stake first ask questions later
* Nothing is really hopeless, there is always a way to win
* You never really know someone
* Love hurts, sometimes it's a killer
* Your friends can always bring you back to life
* When in doubt dance
* Watch the quiet ones
* Life is drama, even if it's all in your head
* Leather or lace, all are fighting clothes
* Getting cocky never ends well
* If you don't tan well stick to the sewers
* 5x5 is a way of life
* Never kill a boy on the first date
* No matter how BIG the BAD - you're it's worst nightmare
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:17 PM

I DID WHAT? (I found this on someone else's blog) :
X = have done
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) seen a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides Canada
(x) had a serious surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
(x) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) been arrested
(x) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose (not reccommended)
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving (but would like to!)
(x) skinny dipped
(x) skipped school
(x) seen a therapist
(x) done the splits
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches
(x) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone
(x) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan (would like to)
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (bad poetry abounds from this)
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend (not proud of it, but it was necessary)
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans (on my TO DO list)
( ) been to Europe (to do listed)
(x) slept with a co-worker
(x) been married
( ) gotten divorced (close to it right now)
( ) had children
(x) seen someone die
(x) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa (would like to)
(x) driven over 400 miles in one day
(x) been to US
( ) been to Mexico
( ) been to India
(x) been on a plane
(x) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire (fire play - weeee!)
( ) eaten sushi
( ) been skiing/snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
(x) lost a child (while I was babysitting one snuck out of the house)
(x) gone to college/university (did both)
(x) graduated college/university (did both)
( ) fired a gun
(x) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers
( ) been intimate with someone of the same gender (hmm...define intimate...? heh heh)

I found this here.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:37 PM

04 June 2005

Because I'm a Quiz Junkie :
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 85% on interpersonal
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 66% on visual
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 85% on verbal
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 24% on mathematical
Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on OkCupid Free Online Dating
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:01 PM

01 June 2005

I battle through these thunderclouds to find my way to fields of gold somehow :
For those that think I’m jumping on the blogging bandwagon like so many of the peeps these days I just wanted to let ya know I’ve been a member of Blogger.com since 2000. Now I have to admit I was smack in the middle of my midlife crisis back then and only posted like twice before I forgot all about it. Now in my defense it was a midlife crisis. I was only 29 but I’m ahead of the curve on stuff like that, and I’ve gotten so much better at living life and keeping track of stuff since then. Now you may ask how I could have been having a mid life crisis at 29, well I didn’t want to hit 30 and then freak out about where my life was going, how bad things sucked, how I was drowning in debt and had nothing to show for myself (gee sounds like now). I excel at being early.

I am not a blogger extraordinaire. I’m learning as I go, the way I like it. Since I started my current career as a tech support agent I’ve learned a lot about certain computer things and since I got back to my blog I’ve learned a few programs and CSS to boot. It’s not rocket science, thank god, or my page would have spontaneously self-combusted or some such nonsense. I’m thinking I’m fairly average and I can live with that. Eventually I’ll be all so good at this too and people will wonder what happened to the simplicity. I can dream :)

Tech support will end for me soon, our call centre is going inbound sales and now I get to see what I can up sell to the unsuspecting clients coming my way. Oh money how I detest thee. If only I could find that elusive mostly perfect job that I know is out there if only someone would just give me a chance. I’m good at thinking on my feet, learning fast, organizing and being nice. I’m perfect in any service environment and can be counted on to be flexible as well as to get the job done. I play well with others and have mastered much technicalese in my time. I also have little problem with accents or name pronunciation. Look at me upselling already. References available upon request :)

I got my ½ hour of exercise today. Went all over town, which isn’t saying much since you can cross-town in about 10 minutes by car. If you walk and the lights are against you it’ll probably take an hour. I’m a small town kid from way back. Imagine what it was like for me to move to a town of some 4,000+ people after spending 15 years and then 2.5 in towns that neither had stop lights or officially had population signs. I’m originally from Gillam Manitoba, and if you know where that is good for you. I was born in Gillam Hospital and lived on Gillam Drive until we moved to Grand Rapids, Manitoba. In Grand Rapids I lived in a sub division on the outskirts of the town proper and got to experience being bussed to school and being the only blue eyed blonde in a school full of people of varying indigenous heritages. Good times.

Not that I’d never encountered other cultures before. In the 19 years since I left I understand that the hospital burned down and that the local Native band moved the reserve from downtown right along the railroad tracks to a town named Bird. I’d like to think I have a lot of friends from my time in those towns, but back them I was lousy at keeping in touch. Couldn’t tell you were anyone I used ton know way back when is now.

Well my ‘weekend’ is almost over. I get Tuesdays and Wednesdays off consecutively these days. The joys of shift work and all. Tonight on tap I have day two of Canadian Idol. Not as crass or weird as American Idol, way heavy on the Ben Mulroney face time, but otherwise just like drunken karaoke any night of the week without the second hand smoke. I like John Dore’s comedy bits even if it’s constrained by CTV in all their wisdom. Last season he was a bit lame but last night the baby gold bit was priceless. I am easily amused. Oh yea and I don’t hate Ben Mulroney I’d just like to hear someone else talking for a bit. After all there are contestants at these auditions right?

Oh yea if you’re interested I live here now and I like it. I’ll love it when that movie theatre gets put in. Eventually, when the employment gods smile on me and/or I learn French, I’ll move back to the city. I’m not a country/city snob. It’s all the same to me, just more things to do in a city and more anonymity. That’s good if you’re a serial dater like me, or if you want to go to an open mic night. One of these days I’ll do that too.

I’m only against driving in big urban areas. I learned to drive on dirt roads in a big old station wagon so no driving conditions scare me. Other drivers freak me out completely. They’ve been lobotomized by their radio or cell phone, are distracted by those or the kids, or their road rage and are pretty much driving as fast, and as badly, as they can to a destination that will be there whether they get a hefty speeding ticket or crash in a ball of flame; or not. When I’m in the city I’m a slave to mass transit. I actually enjoy taking the bus/train/subway. I’ve had a licence since I was 17 but I have never owned a car. I almost did but after I put nearly a thousand dollars into the family ride, my mom up and sold it on me when I was away at school. Didn’t offer it to me first either which made me mad. I was kinda amused to hear the car crashed later on, considering who she sold it to I think the poor machine committed suicide. I’d like to think that car missed me. Is till miss that car. Even gave it a name, it was my Baby.

Bye, bye baby. Goodbye.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:39 PM

I'm gonna die in a small town, that's probably where they'll bury me :
Yeah so I've been mucking about here making the blog all mine. It's still pretty generic but I'm working on it. Limited time and all that. I do have another blog somewhere else but it's not as pretty as this one. I like my world in shades of noir.

I'm currently watching my cd-burner/dvd player spin. I had to reformat my enire hard drive the last time I took it in for service and I don't want to cough that kind of dough up again. I'll wait on it a bit, but until then I won't be burning any backups or installing anything. Yippee for me!

I've been looking around out in Blog Land and there's so much to see and do, I like the quizzes the most. Always want to know what kind of cereal I am. Never was a corn flake girl - and all that. I've seen many cool pictures read up on some politics and found interesting people withe great stuff to say. Evidence: the blogroll groweth.

I usually write this out in Word before hand but I'm thinking less endless stories and more short bits make a girl sane. And I don't believe I'm any less true to the overall theme of my page (spell check be damned!). It's all about me. Nuff said.

So I was on this page today and there was a question about the types of men. It's pretty generic and people went a little further with subsets, like I did. I did forget to mention Arrogant Man though. Oh god how I HATE him. He's swimming in his illusion and can't take no for an answer without telling absolutely everyone you're a lesbian. Must be or you would instantly fall in love and beg to have his children. Though spending time with AM can lead one to contemplate what's so bad about other lifestyles I'm still hetro at the end of the night and so sorry for the next woman he sets upon. The worst thing about AM is he never gives up, even if he's decided you're a lesbian he will then set about trying to convert you - because if anyone can do it - HE can. Seriously folks Arrogant Man is out there and sure he's perfect in everyway.

If I can find it again I'll link to it I swear! Keep reading and have a fabulous day!!!!!!!!
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 3:34 PM

MenTal fUrbAll