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What Came Before

2005.05 2005.06 2005.07 2005.08 2005.09 2005.10 2005.11 2005.12 2006.01 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.07 2008.09 2008.10 2009.01 2010.01 2010.03 2010.05


From the ghost land of the easy life.

31 July 2005

I don't know what he's after but he's beautiful :
So are you glad it's over? I loved that ALIAS thing, I'd do it more often but I'm rarely able to sit down and spin out 11 pages on a whim. It was fun while it lasted. Hope you enjoyed it. I know I did.

Went for an hour long walk today, for the funof sweatng. I got sunburn on my sweaty face. I went beause my walkman was co-operating. Don't know how long that will last. I went all out doing stretches and a wee spot of pilates and then goofy dancing around my place for hours. I'm a nutter today. And unfortunately I'm all wound up with nothing to do but go to bed early to go to training tomorrow and be bored stupid. Yay.

Thanks to Lyvvie and Sarcastrix and Sandra for adding my link to their sites.

Well I have to go mellow out and all so I'll leave you with this weeks' menatal playlist:

10) there was a time - (i so don't remember)
9) heartbreaker - pat benetar
8) soul child - paul brady
7) if god would send his angels - u2
6) wait for me - hall and oates
5) gimme the light - sean paul
4) how many licks - l'il kim
3) castles in the sky - dj ricey
2) don't cha - pussy cat dolls
1) beautiful disater - kelly clarkson

keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 7:52 PM

ALIAS Fantasy scenario PART 6 :
Marshall : (running over and clutching the battered laptop to him like a child, with tears in his eyes.) That was a really expensive personal use computer Nadia. You could have at least asked!

Jack : Took her head clean off eh? Wonder if that would work with Irina?

Sloane : Nadia what have you done? She was the chosen one.

Nadia : I know Dad. But she was evil and it had to be done. Just like when I let you fall to your almost death that time.

Sloane : I see sweetie. Well we should get the doctor here to look at your man.

Doc : You people are nuts. (Inching towards the door, holding as close to the wall as he can).

Katya : I bet we could sew her head back on and no one would notice.

Sark : Darling she’s not even bleeding. I always wanted her dead but that’s too dead for even me.

Vaughn : Not again! I swear this damn ring is cursed. (Runs over and pulls J-Lo’s pink diamond off Sydney’s finger.) First Lauren is evil and I have to kill her then Syd is evil and Nadia has to kill her.

Jack : (Taking the ring from him) Well you have lousy taste in cursed jewelry son.

Irina : (Taking Jacks arm and leaning on him like his wife) Yes son. It’s true.

Katya : ( Looking over Jack’s shoulder.) Say wasn’t that the ring Jack gave you for your engagement?

Irina : Yes. Yes it was.

Sloane : Well then it really is cursed. We’ll need to bury the body and salt the earth Vaughn, or she’ll just come back like the other Derevko women. (Moves to pick up Syd’s feet.)

Jack : (Moving to get Syd’s shoulders) Look I still don’t like you much but it’s better to know you killed her then to drown in remorse for thinking you killed her only to find she’s not dead and really pissed.

Irina : (Standing aside so the men can move the body) It’s true, she’ll come back for you but only for revenge.

*Katya nodding in the background. Marshall wails over his laptop and Vaughn pimp rolls over to the head and starts kicking it out the door. Nadia picks it up and helps him settle it under his un-casted arm.*

Vaughn : But she’d come back right? As a real woman? Not a zombie right?

Sloane : There’s no guarantee on that son.

Jack : Give it up, she’d kill you either way Vaughn. Now hurry up or you’ll miss the elevator.

Vaughn : Uh my names not really Michael Vaughn it’s …( the hospital room door closes behind the men.)

Weiss : Oowwwwww.

Doc : Hold still, if you keep moving I can’t guarantee I can get your head on straight.

*Nadia, Katya, Irina stand over Marshall who is wailing and rocking with his dented laptop. Sark paces talking on his cell phone in the background and Dixon watches him glancing nervously back towards the women now and then.*

Nadia : Well I’ve got a whole new wardrobe to weed through. Anyone want to come back to my place and pick up some hand me downs?

Irina : (Looking from Nadia to Katya and back) Sure dear, it’ll give us a chance to catch up on your, you know, entire life since you were born.

Marshall : Waaaaaaaa

Katya : I can make some Strudel.

*Everyone laughs.*

Katya : What? I can be quite domestic when I’m not working as a spy and whatnot

Nadia : (Crouching down in front of Marshall) You can come too. If it (points to battered laptop) doesn’t work when we get there you can always rebuild it from all the spare parts we keep in the garage ok?

Marshall : Really?

Nadia : Yes.

Marshall : I always liked you Nadia.

Irina and Katya : Oh brother!

THE END
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:07 AM

30 July 2005

ALIAS fantasy scenario PART 5 :
Jack : Dixon flank it to the right, Marshall determine what it is and how to get it off Weiss. Irina, find a weapon, Katya wake up Vaughn and Sark!

Marshall : (Suddenly surrounded by banks of computers.) I’ve never seen anything like this. It seems to have human characteristics Umm

Doctor : (coming to in the corner) What the hell?

Dixon : Jack it seems to be moving, what are my orders.

Jack : Keep your eye on it man. It’s small and wily and very fast but hopefully you’re faster if it comes for you.

*The shrieking continues even though the ‘baby’ never leaves Weiss’s neck*

Sloane : Even for a zombie baby that thing is ugly. You would think with all the good looks in this room there would have been a better-looking zombie baby.

Katya : Well what do you expect? We can’t glorify pre-marital sex we have to make it look like the ugly spawn inducing sin it is. (Slaps Sark) Wake up Dammit.

Vaughn : What is that?

Irina : It’s your son or (shrugging) daughter.

Vaughn : (coming to as Sark is being beaten silly by Katya) What the hell are you talking about Mom?

Jack, Dixon, Sloane, Nadia, Weiss, Sydney, Doctor, Katya, Marshall and Sark : Mom?

Irina : What? I wasn’t perfect as a girl ok?

Jack and Sloane : (together) Is he our son?

Irina : No. He’s not either of your sons. His father was …..

Katya : It was Dad wasn’t it? I knew he loved you too much. It really explains everything.

*The shrieking continues even though the ‘baby’ never leaves Weiss’s neck*

Jack : Is this true?

Irina : Katya you know I was just a girl.. Katya. (stepping forward eyes tearing up) I had no idea it was wrong.

Weiss : gurgle (falls to the floor)

Marshall : Uh Mr. Bristow, the baby and Sydney.

*Sydney is sitting up in bed her eyes glowing red.*

Jack : My baby.

Vaughn : Syd?

Weiss : help

Sloane : She must be stopped, she’s a zombie too!

*Sydney flies from the bed and starts biting Weiss as well.*

Irina : Jack do something! She’s been with you most of her life so she should listen to you.

Jack : (glaring at Irina) She hates you, go piss her off then we can sneak up on her and we can try to overpower her.

Dixon : She was my partner and I’ve been through life or death with her before. I’ll go and try to get her away from Weiss.

Vaughn : No! She’s my woman and I’ll do what ever it takes to get her back!

*The shrieking continues even though the ‘baby’ never leaves Weiss’s neck*

Sloane : (Joining into the group argument and obscuring Katya and Sark from view.) Well I’ve always treated her like a daughter and I really believed she was one until Nadia came along and ….

*Sydney is still chewing on Weiss’s shoe, the ‘baby’ is greedily hanging from his neck. Nadia, leaving her place kneeling on the floor gets up and with calm resolve takes Marshall’s laptop and walks over to where Sydney is*

Nadia : You bitch! (She says bringing the giant steel encased laptop down on Sydney’s head repeatedly) I told you to never touch my man and I meant never. You don’t deserve the clothes or the convoluted plotlines. Take your skinny ass and this zombie baby back to Ben Affleck where they belong!

*The room is silent as everyone witnesses the crushing blow that decapitates Sydney. Immediately afterwards the ‘baby explodes and the shrieking ceases. The lights return to normal and Weiss, somehow still alive, gets to his feet with Nadia’s assistance.*
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:43 PM

ALIAS fantasy scenario PART 4 :
Sloane : It's time!

Katya : Wait! How do you know?

Vaughn : (looking annoyed but sounding bemused) Jack, you do realize I have a cast around my neck there right? (Stands up and turns cuffing Jack in the head with his fully plaster encased right arm and brace. Pimp rolls over to the gang with the book) If there's any killing to do, I'll have to do it. I am, after all the fiancé.

Sloane : Well not for long.

Vaughn : Huh? (Slips on the fluid pooling from Sydney around the foot of the bed, is knocked out cold, face down in the fluid.)

Irina : (grimacing in disgust) I don’t know what that is but I don't want to touch that stuff. Do you think he'll drown?

Katya : Who knows? Sark, help him up.

(Jack and Sark go over and pull Vaughn's limp body from the clingy goo.)

Jack : (snarling at Vaughn) Think you can get out of this that easy? You don’t know much about this business do you boy?

Irina : Jack be nice, he’s family now. Zombie child or not.

Katya : It’s the least you can do to let him live until Elena comes back.

Dixon : (looking confused) She’s dead. She can’t come back. (the women smirk at him) Jack isn’t she dead?

Jack : Well yes. I think so, but I was sure I killed Irina and she’s here alive. These Derevko women are like cats. And I mean that in a good way honey (looking at Irina who smiles sweetly at him.)

Katya : Oh gag. You two are so sick and twisted. Arvin how do we stop this thing that ‘s coming out of my niece?

Sloane : Well the book is unclear.

*There is a mist gathering. It seems to be coming from the pool of goo. The lights seem to be dimming from white to shades of red and green. The sound of a low growling hum fills the air and gunfire is dimly present in the background.*

Sark : (Grabbing the book and walking towards Jack) It’s not, it says right here that all you have to do is sne …(slips in goo trail left by the unconscious Vaughn , falls to the floor and is hit in the head with the book as his head hits the floor from the fall.)

Sloane : (shrieks) Don’t let the book get gooed it’ll be burst into flames and our only hope will be lost!

*Weiss, Nadia, Jack, Sloane and Katya lunge for the book as it turns into a pile of flaming dust*

All : Shit.

*Ear piercing shriek, not unlike that of the monster on Lost*

Nadia : Honey (looking at Weiss) where’d that pilots uniform come from. Weren’t you just wearing suit 3? I really like suit 3?

Irina : What the hell was that noise? It wasn’t the baby was it? I don’t want to know my grandchild sounds like that!

Katya : Always thinking of yourself sis, way to go.

Jack : Marshall, what do your analyses tell you?

Marshall : Well we don’t have a zombie baseline to compare it to Mr. Bristow, but it’s definitely a sound that was made, not recorded and played back or generated in any way.

Jack : English Marshall.

Marshall : Umm I thought I was, oh sorry. Ummm it was, it must have come out of someone here.

Jack : It wasn’t me.

Katya : Duh.

Nadia : Dad? Dad what’s wrong? (crosses over to Sloane.)

Sloane : (sitting on the floor looking like he robbed Yoda of his ratty robe.) It’s gone Nadia. Our only hope. The best book ever written. Your favourite chicken recipe, everything about killing zombie babies and my copy of the script, it’s all gone!!!!!!!

Nadia : Oh Dad I’m so sorry. (They hug and share tears.)

Weiss : Jack, uh help Jack!

*There is something hanging from his neck, blood is covering his white pilots shirt. He’s trying to yank the thing off his neck and making harsh gurgling sounds.*

Irina : Jesus, what is that.

Nadia : Eric!!!! (lunges toward him but Sloane holds her back)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:04 AM

29 July 2005

ALIAS fantasy scenario PART 3 :
Weiss : Nadia, honey. You really can't use this as an excuse to raid her closet. (tries to pull her away from the bedside) I know you'd look great in most of the stuff but we're here to support Vaughn and Sydney now.

Nadia : You're right. Syd I'm sorry, please forgive me (throws herself on top of the bed weeping.

(Door flies open)

Sloane : (carrying a giant t book and drooling) It's all right here. It's a devil child!! Rambaldi has decreed if the Chosen One lives through the apocalypse then she will bring forth a real zombie in real short order.

Sark : (appearing behind Sloane) He's right, says so right here. (points to book)

Jack : Zombie, schmobie. This is your fault (pointing at Vaughn who's drinking a morphine martini made by Irina) and I'm going to make you pay for what you've done to my baby!

Irina : (pulling Vaughn out of the way of the airborne Jack) Darling don't be so short sighted. After all if he is the father he should be the one who does the honors.

Jack : (from the floor) Honors?

Sloane : Yes the father of the, zombie baby beast, is a suitable candidate to kill the thing before it feed and becomes strong enough to rule the whole world.

Sark : Do you suppose he'd need a sidekick if we fail? What? If we can't kill it, it may want some help and later on, running the world and all right?

Katya : You work for me Sark honey. don't get any other ideas.

Jack : (strangling Vaughn thanks to Sark's distraction) Die you defiler die!!!!!!!!!
She was a size 2, do you know how hard it's going to be for her to get that back before next episode?

Vaughn : gggggdddddddddrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaasssddddddddddddd

Weiss : Vaughn do you need any help?

Nadia : Honey you should stay out of it.

(The sound of shooting breaks the silence. Marshall and Dixon roll through the door carrying the doctor)

Marshall : Sorry Mr. Bristow the place is clear.

Irina : (Crossing to and looking out the door) What were you shooting at?

Dixon : This nosy nurse started saying we couldn't take this doctor, but as far as we can tell he is the only one that knows about Sydney's case. He seems to be her only hope. She picked up the phone at her desk and started dialing and I took the shot.

Jack : Good thinking Dixon. We can use him to keep the zombie baby busy while we figure out how to kill it.

Marshall : Zombie baby?

Sark, Katya, Sloane : (reading book together look up and exclaim) Yes!

Katya : Irina it says she will have it soon. Are you prepared?

Irina : (barely able to tear her eyes away from Jack throttling Vaughn) What? Why would I have to do that? I'm not the father. I barely know the girl.

Katya : Well you're her relative and you are closer.

Sloane : Any of us in this room could take the life of the zombie child. The writings don't specify it has to be anyone related.

Marshall : Well I um, I don't really feel comfortable killing anything. In fact I'd rather not kill even a zombie baby.

Sark : Right then I vote we tie him up and use him as zombie baby bait.

*Everyone looks at Sark. Some are smiling, some gaze in disgust and Marshall wets himself.*
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:28 PM

28 July 2005

ALIAS fantasy scenario PART 2 :
Doc : Look I know she is pregnant so does anyone know how far along she is? We're just trying to make sure that the we're ready if the baby is premature.

Irina : Premature? Of course it's premature! She's just got back from saving the world and being proposed to and all that. She didn't have time to get knocked up. She's my baby and she's a size 2 dammit!!

Jack : (Holding her back as she lunges for the doctor) Irina. It's ok, I'll handle this. (Smiles at the doctor) Can I have a word with you?

Doc : (Turning to walk down the hall with Jack)Sure Mr. ...?

Jack : Well you have to forgive my wife, she's recently been resurrected and it can wreak havoc with the hormones and all.

Doc : Oh, umm, err...

Jack : (turns to face the doctor, puts both hands on the man's shoulders) Sorry about this but it's necessary doc. (Knees man in groin.)

*Everyone erupts in to laughter, cheering and then they run off down the hall looking for Sydney.*

Irina : (spitting as she passes) I hate doctors.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Vaughn : So Syd you can see I meant it all for your own good.

*Everyone else bursts in to the room, Sark in the lead wrestling Marshall out of the way. Sydney is obviously pregnant. Vaughn sits in wheel chair by her bedside holding her unconscious hand and looking scared**

Vaughn : Geez don't you people know how to knock?

Sark : Stuff it man, you killed my girl and I should repay the favour.

Katya : Shut up! (Sark retreats to the door and leaves snarling.)

Irina : (approaching Vaughn's right side whispers ) Did you tell her?

Vaughn : Look, a truck hit us on our way back and I know I should be dead but somehow I was thrown clear out the passenger side window. When I came to here I was pretty groggy but I must be on some real good drugs because everyone keeps saying the accident was only a couple of days ago.

Jack : It was.

Nadia : Sydney (takes her sister's hand)? Sydney can you hear me? It's me Nadia. Oh Sydney (looks around at everyone as a tear slides down her cheek) I'm going to take very good care of all your clothes now that you're going to be out of shape for a while.

Katya : Figures, you think you should get the clothes. Irina, talk some sense into your daughter.

Irina : I don't know that we have definitively established she's mine. Where's Arvin, she is his kid too ( looks around but Sloane is gone).

Jack : Ladies, fashion isn't the issue here. Sydney is, and well, she's HUGE.

Marshall : I can't find anything in the room that could be causing this condition Mr. Bristow. I'm going to check out the rest of the building.

Jack : Good thinking Marshall, take Dixon with you he can take point and cover you should they try the same on you. Call the office and see if anyone there can do any lab work or understand lab results and we'll get an idea of what it says in that chart Dixon has.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 4:16 PM

27 July 2005

ALIAS fantasy scenario PART 1 :
Sitting here thinking about how Jennifer Garner's pregnancy is being written into Alias. I know how it should go down:

Sloane : (Frantically) Nadia, I've just remembered that Rambaldi prophesized that after the giant orange glow ball zombie incident the chosen one would have a kid.

Nadia : Dad (rolls her eyes), can you PLEASE Stop mentioning that? I've already appologise for trying to kill Sydney and you did pretty much whack my head off there.

Sloane : Sorry dear, but really you have to get me in to see the Rambaldi artifacts and texts. (His eyes grow wide with lustful anticipation)

Nadia : Dad you know I can't do that. But you know, Irina's back just ask her to borrow her copy of the texts. You don't need the artifacts to read any of them right.

Sloane : Well, um ... no.

Nadia : Well ok then. Go run along to the office and see if Jack can email Irina about the texts. I have to clean up around here. Sydney and Vaughn should be back soon and ...

(Door opens)

Weiss : Nadia, Nadia where are you? (Walks through house yelling) Sydney's in the hospital. Jack just called, we're all supposed to go there.

Nadia : Hi honey. Dad just dropped by for a chat but he can take us to the hospital, can't you dad?

;;;;;;;;;;;

*So they go to the hospital where Jack, Irina, Sark, Marshall, Dixon and Katya are waiting. everyone is milling around, sitting down then milling again. The usual do you know what's up questions answered by shrugs and replies of they won't tell us anything’s' are given. Finally a doctor approaches.*

Doc : Umm hello. Are all of you family?

Sark : DO I look like I'm related to these people?

Katya : Shut up dear or I'll have to (makes a motion with hand.)

*Sark sits down and everyone else surrounds the doctor.*

Doc : Does anyone know how far along the bride was?

*Gasps and questioning looks from everyone?*

Sloane : (pulling Nadia aside whispers) See. See I told you. The chosen one is having a kid. Just like I said. I need to see those ....

Nadia : Dad knock it off. You're being a loon.

Irina : (to Katya) What's Sloane saying to Nadia, do you think he knows something about this?

Katya : I'll find out.

Jack : Listen here doctor my daughter did not have pre martial sex. She wouldn't have don that with someone I, until recently, thought so little of.

Doc : ?(looking bewildered)

Dixon : Jack. This is not the time or place for this kind of speculation. We don't know what's going on. It could be Rambaldi, terrorists or a rebel faction trying to get back at us for doing something to them first.

Marshall : Doc what kind of equipment did you use to determine that Sydney is, umm, with child? I have 2 kids of my own and well I could check your instruments and make sure they haven't been tampered with or anything.

Jack : Marshall! Not now.

Irina : (Under her breath) Always looking for a way to see Sydney naked little man.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:45 PM

we try to take it slow but we're still losing control :
Do you like Alias? Are you the kind of person who takes it so seriously that you won't read fan fiction or parody/sppof writing that includes this show as a theme? If this describes you. Don't read my next post later tonight. If this isn't you, wait for it. You'll like it even if you don't know that characters ok?

I was inspires by
1) being bored to death all day
2) MPH at Heightened Thoughts
3) Michael K at DListed

Follow the links to the right to find either of these fellows.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 5:09 PM

26 July 2005

i turn the lights on and there's nothing left redeeming :
I find myself disappearing in the least obvious ways

I’m in the mood for loud obnoxious depressing music (loud, pissed off and maybe whiny). I’m in the mood because I’m in that kinda tired place where cranky is a lifestyle and I want to bask in it. I’m getting ticked if I think someone is snubbing me for any reason. Then I roll down hill so quickly all the cranky snowballs into sadness. I posted the lyrics to Suburbia by MGB Sunday. I listened to that song just now and got weepy.

I have never lived in suburbia. Being that I am poor and I rent I have never been afforded to the luxury of suburban living. What does that have to do with suburban living you may ask. Everything. Of all the cities I’ve lived in the suburban parts are the ones with the worst public transportation so I could never bask in the lifestyle. I don not, cannot own a car. I cannot, will not walk THAT far. So I’m perplexed by the emotional outburst. My Spock side is my best side I think. It allows me to shrink myself in the comfort of my own living room. But I know it’s just that I’m tired and if my neighbours, who seem to have held steady at 3 in a bachelor and escalated their activities to include burning dinner and physical abuse, make as much noise tonight as they did last I may snap AND GO ASK THEM TO KEEP IT DOWN

So once I get to the point where I’m ready to go say something I’m pissed and I know going up there and ripping their heads off while swearing the air blue won’t win me any friends. My list of Frenemies is long enough and I don’t have any real enemies – family doesn’t count - their power only exists if you believe in them and since I’m an orphan ( : ) ) I obviously don’t. I’d rather get along with my neighbours, close quartered or not. As my best friend from college can tell ya, when you’re warring with the neighbours you do real stupid things to piss them off. One of the girls in the house, a skinny bulimic horse faced girl, walked like an elephant – just like my neighbours upstairs. In retaliation the downstairs renters, a pair of guys, would crank pornos in their living room. It made her nuts. She called the landlord endlessly and had many screaming rants about how immature they were and she shouldn’t be punished for how she walked. Then she would look at me like I should be the one they had an issue with.

To demonstrate that she ‘wasn’t’ the one they should be mad at she would then run up and down the four stairs that separated the living room/dining room from the bedrooms. Then she would jump up and down the stairs. Then she would call the landlord and complain about the porno music. She was so mature. I gotta tell you I always wanted to smack her; she was so arrogant and way too ugly to afford it. At least I’m pretty inside and out. She was planted under the ugly tree at an early age and it showed. She never did a kind thing for anyone. She’s probably on welfare someplace with the kids of the pretty boy actor she stole from her friend. It happens that way is all I’m saying. It’s not like I know what happened to her or that I’m wishing that on her. If I was wishing I wouldn’t be so nice (and my karma would take years to repair)!

By the way - I LOVE Pauly Shore. I always have. I have seen all of his movies and now I watch his tv show. I thought he would have been in more romantic comedies after Son in Law, toned down less Pauly-centric movies of course – but I could still see it. Pauly seems like such a sweetheart. Ok he’s a rather slimy/sex addicted; dim witted sweetheart; but a sweetheart nonetheless. I always wondered what happened to Pauly and the show, Minding the Store, doesn’t elaborate. It also makes you wonder if Pauly lost some good sense along the way (be kind cuz you know he had some.) He does look well and seems to have potential to possibly do more movies. Doing a scene from Black Godfather for his dramatic audition tape was such a bizarre idea that you have to laugh. Not generous laughing either. I hope Pauly gets it together and can be in a few more movies. I’d go to see them, especially if they were being shown round here ya know?

I hope I’ve entertained. I just don’t have a shtick like Radioactive Jam - them monkeys are funny.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:58 PM

25 July 2005

if i hurt you i'd make wine from your tears :
I'm so tired. I have shift change jet lag. I can't even respond to g-lo's free for all on the question meme. If you wanna hear a pretty interesting song go by mblog, listed to the right. Matt Good is releasing a best of soon called in a coma and his song Oh Be Joyful is on the site for a limited time only. I took the time to watch the video but you can just get the audio too. I like.

Stopped by Demosthenes place at http://yesterdayneverdies.blogspot.com/, where he's talking about The Island. Somebody take me to The Island!!!!! It's been over a year since I was in a movie theatre. I hate everyone out there within travelling distance/ability of any kind of movie theatre. Ok I'm done, unhappy hour in 2.5 seconds :) (I don't really hate y'all I'm just losing my religion).

I'm gonna watch Rock Star INXS and go to bed.


"Oh be Joyful, cuz that shit spreads." Perfect thought eh?

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:19 PM

24 July 2005

top ten mental playlist :
I'll be in training 8-4 for 4 weeks starting tomorrow so Idon't know how well I'll keep up with all of the commenters and reading of blogs, but I'll try.

10) broken - seether with amy lee
9) hero - chad krueger and chaz ?
8) only you - ashanti
7) into your hideout - pilate
6) beautiful disaster - kelly clarkson
5) walking after you - the foo fighters
4) clocks - coldplay
3) purple rain - prince and the revolution
2) wild boys - duran duran
1) suburbia - matthew good band

Suburbia Lyrics: (from http://www.lyricsondemand.com/m/
matthewgoodbandlyrics/suburbialyrics.html)

You will come back within yourself
you can be art when we melt
and i will know what you were for
i say we're leaving
there ain't nothing here at all
another day, a week, the mall
and baby if I was in demand
you would be mind

someday this place it going to burn
is your whole life in there waiting?
someday your head is going to turn and you'll realize
i'm missing, do you realize?

you will come back
convince yourself you can stay alive
and wait for me
and i will know what this was for
and I'll say we're leaving
there ain't nothing here at all
another month, a year that's all
so you can tell them I'm coming
and hell's coming with me

someday this place is going to burn
is your whole life in the waiting
someday their heads are going to turn and they'll realize
you're missing
we are there

ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:01 PM

my questions from lab boy :

You can find the rules under the other questions posts k?

1) Who are you named after, if anyone? Why did your parents choose this name for you, Amber? I’m not named after anyone. My Ma says I have this name because my Da decided Cinnamon was just wrong.

2) You've had the most horrible day at work, how do you unwind? I come home crank up the angry music and sing along. Then maybe I take a bath to unwind, but more likely I or IM a friend and whinge on and then when I’m done we change the subject. Then I’ll watch a fave movie and go to bed. It’s good to have people who will just let you talk about stuff.

3) You have good Karma and you can reincarnate in any animal... Which animal? For real animals I’d want to be black panther. For imaginary I’d be Pegasus, c’mon a winged horse is just awesome.

4) Who is your hero(es)? Why? Been thinking about this for a while before you even asked. What are you a mind reader? Anyways I have to say those who dare. You see them everywhere. The stutterer at open mic poetry night. The profusely sweaty under athletic gym rat. The person who says no matter what I’m doing this, say what you will I don’t care and I can succeed whether or not you believe. The people who really have faith in themself and their abilities, they are my heroes because faith is just so hard to find.

5) You have the time and energy to learn another language... Which one would it be? For practical reasons French, then I could learn Spanish and Italian and Japanese.

ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:10 PM

my questions from cookie :

ok amber my dear, here are your questions!

1. you are walking along the street and see someone drop their wallet containing a lot of money. you do not know them. what do u do and why? I chase them down and give it back. I’d want them to do the same for me.

2. whats your most embarassing moment?
Hard to be embarrassed when you’re shameless. Usually it’s the moment I realize the guy I’m into and after is just not that into me.

3. you are allowed 4 toppings on your ideal pizza (u already have cheese and tomato. what do u choose and why? To be specific it’s a multigrain thin crust made with spring water (pizza pizza style), mozza, feta and parmasean cheeses, a good garlic tomato sauce, fresh mushrooms, grilled chicken, spicy pepperoni and pineapple. Because it tastes good.

4. is there anything left in your life that you havent achieved yet?
The Miss Congeniality answer is: world peace. Seriously I haven’t sky dived, been to Spain, New Zealand or England, learned another language, took belly dancing or tai chi, had that international affair, become a size 10. I’ve got a lot to do.

5. if i was to visit you, where would u take me and what would we do?
Well we’d go to Ottawa so you can see our royalty – err politicians in their natural habitat, visit the museums and bars. From there we’d to Toronto and see the CN Tower, the museums, the Warf, the Black Bull which has heated floors and the midnight movies, then to Niagara Falls where we’d eat the hottest chicken wings known to man and enjoy the UFO restaurant. Casino Niagara has an all you can eat buffet all the time.


If we’re talking unlimited money and total fantasy we could go to Winnipeg and I could show you the Blue Note Café, Portage and Main (made famous by Neil Young), the theatre where Keanu Reeves did Hamlet for a wee bit. West Edmonton Mall in Edmonton, the Rockies in Calgary, Sunset in Whitehorse and we’d go through gas town in Vancouver. Then we’d go back to Montreal, shop, listen to jazz, catch the comedy festival and crash a movie shoot.

THE RULZ:
Please post your answers on your blog. If other bloggers want to be interviewed, you must interview them if they ask you by:

1. Leaving you a comment saying 'interview me please'
2. You will respond by asking you five questions here on their blog (not the same questions you see here)
3. They will update their blog/site with the answers to the questions
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

ghost writer Ambrrrr at 1:46 PM

22 July 2005

Foilwoman asks this of me :
Here's my mini-interview courtesy of Foilwoman. See her questions and answers at her blog, linked to on the left.

(1) What's the most disastrous date you've ever been on and why?
Well this one time at band camp…
I’ve went through a blind date gauntlet a few years back. The worst one was with this really nice and unassuming Asian fellow. He picked me up and we went to a sports bar all the way across town. He wanted to show me his neighbourhood. It was all good. We both like trivia and the bar had this trivia game so we played and chatted and had fun. No freakdar going off at all.
So we’re on our way back to my place at the end of the night. I’m thinking I’d really like to see this guy again. I may have gotten lucky. We stop for a red light. Next thing I know his hand is on the back of my head/base of my neck and he’s trying to pull me into what seriously looks like a hoover attachment with a tongue.
Now I’m trying as hard as I can to keep my head attached to my neck and my face away from whatever that alien thing is he’s doing over there. It’s hurting, really hurting. I’m asking him WTF are you doing let go of me. He’s laughing. LAUGHING. Saying it’s just a kiss I should just kiss him I want to kiss him he knows.
As my head is about to separate from my spinal column the worlds’ longest stop light changes to green and he has to let me go because his car is standard and we are in the front of the lane, no time for dallying.
I can feel the whiplash now as I tell you about this. So this guy (thank god) doesn’t have to stop for anything again until we get to my place. I had my seatbelt off and the door open and was already inside locking the front door to my place before the car came to a complete stop. He didn’t follow me to the door but he did call again and again and emailed non-stop until I banned him.
I still have this thing about guys ‘guiding’ my head. If the touch has anything like forcefulness to it I’ll get snakey.

(2) What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
Hmm well my militant black friend from college (she called herself that) would say it’s the time I was room shopping in college I convinced this guy to come get me as I didn’t know the town and didn’t drive. I then begged my friend to come with me. My reasoning – he’s not gonna be able to axe murder us all by himself, one of us can get away and tell the cops. So we get into the van, which is loaded with hunting stuff and has no seats in the back and my dear friend is mumbling we’re gonna die, he’s gonna kill us – all the way there. The place was a hole and way too far from school. He was nice and drove us home. My friend insisted on being let off half way back so we got out and thanked the guy and went home.

My loser friend who owes me money and clothes would say it’s when she took me to a house party with her and I stopped this really drunk guy from forcing her to leave the house with him. He got right in my face and told me explicitly how and what he was gonna do to my ugly bitch ass for getting in his way. I did NOT blink, flinch or move. I told him to fuck off and finally one of the fellas who were just watching all this go down took the guy outside. I had a spectacular breakdown when I was alone that night.

Me - I say throwing off my need to please sickness and my need to help others at my own expense sickness and my husband’s drug and alcohol problems behind by walking out of my marriage and going to small town nowhere with no job, friends or money. Sure I had family there but we’re a dysfunctional lot and as much as they helped the glee that I wasn’t so perfect was too much sometimes.

(3) Is there one thing most other people don't know, that you do, that they should?
This is tough as I’m shameless and have mastered the art of the over-share. I love ferrets and don’t think Seinfeld is funny at all – so much so that I will have reservations about you if you like it. I’ll still give you a chance though.

(4) Who is sexier, Sigourney Weaver or Geena Davis?
Well I vote Sigourney. Geena and Sig are actually pretty similar in height and body type but I really kinda lost some respect for Geena when she went through the blonde phase and it looked like she was having it dyed her skin tone, it was bad like she and her PA were doing it at home with a blonding kit. Sig tho, well I never asked if I could call her that I just like to short form ok? Sig hasn’t aged that badly. I know Geena’s got a new show and she’s looking pretty good and she was all cool in The Long Kiss Goodnight. Still Sig has my vote. She was badass first and I gotta give her props for that.

(5) What is the next skill you want to learn?
For work reasons French, just for me – belly dancing/tai chi.

THE RULZ:
Please post your answers on your blog. If other bloggers want to be interviewed, you must interview them if they ask you by:

1. Leaving you a comment saying 'interview me please'
2. You will respond by asking you five questions here on their blog (not the same questions you see here)
3. They will update their blog/site with the answers to the questions
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

Now who wants to get grilled?
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:50 PM

and now for something completely different (well maybe) :
Things I lost in my last nightmare relationship:

My mind
IQ points
Self-respect/esteem
Self-confidence
My health
My money
My credit rating
Laughter

And before Raz drops dead of the depressions:
What I’ve gained since leaving him like a bat outta hell:

Self-confidence
My health
My ability to laugh, out loud
My mind (ok maybe I never had all of it anyways)
IQ points
My Health (2 dress sizes down already)
My self-respect/esteem
My inner cheapskate
My sense of rhythm
A sense of Irony
Deep veins of devil may care
Cherries!!!!!!!!

So, don’t tell anyone else. My grey hairs have gone into remission. Seriously. Don’t tell anyone. If you do the L’Oreals and Garniers and Clairols will gather around and enlist Schwarzkopf and Aveda, L’anza, Wella and Goldwell, and Fudge Paintbox to help them finance the diva hair colour product ho squad; that would hunt down and sweat my ass ‘til I was so gray, grayer than Jessica Tandy.

Can you imagine being stalked by Beyonce, Milla Jovovich, Sarah Jessica Parker, Andie McDowell, Gwen Stefani and the countless others that would come on board to ensure eternal damnation and stress for me for not only ceasing to buy their products, but for openly admitting I’d found a way to reverse the tell tale signs of hair aging and therefore eliminating my contribution to their coffers? Hell then I’d be on the shit list with the shampoo and conditioner makers too, cuz let’s face it. If I can just de-grey my hair then I should eventually be able to have shiny and bouncing behaving non Finessed, Joicoed, Paul Mitchelled, Pantened, Head and Shoulders-ed hair too. OMG.

Ok I know a lot of guys would want to be stalked by the diva hair colour product ho squad. Good for you. Until I face that Freaky Friday when I become a guy it’s like a nightmare thinking all these bitches could show up here wanting coffee and cigs and needing to “talk some sense into me.” Literally, getting the ice-cold chills from contemplating it : ) This town so doesn’t have a Starbucks. They might just pluck me bald for telling them to go smoke on the front lawn. Well, maybe not. If they did that their job will be over before it begins, bald can’t go grey. And horrors – I have a big head. I’d be forever resigned to wigs and hats. I’m an ugly baldie.

On the topic of cherries I failed to mention I only like the fruit. Not the jam, the pie, the yogurt, the lip gloss, the ice cream, the anything else. I love cherries alone. It's the only fruit I'm so partisan about. I will have strawberry or blueberries in whatever way they can be gotten (margueritas especially) but not cherries.

For random Friday news my digital camera died and then I made sure it was dead. Fit of pique ok? I went out and bought another, owned it for about 10 minutes. I took it back after I was possessed by the ghost of good sense and bought myself a fern, 2 sticks of bamboo and some barbeque chicken wings instead. Much cheaper and now I have money to last me until next pay, when in all likelihood I'll go look for the camera, and if it's still there I'll buy it. The rule on that - if it's still there it was meant to be yours.

I was so good today I could be a religious icon to all reformed shopaholics every where. I could be used as a relic to exercise those still possessed by the spendalotus demons. I could be laughing my ass off in private at this stuff, but I'm shameless and I'm sharing :)

I promise to get pics of the orange couch, the truly fugly sheets that no one at the pubic laundry will steal, the fern and the rest of my tats. I only got to snap 3 before the camera died. About the sheets - I think they could be used against me by someone like Scared Bunny (linked to on the left) as a what to look for when dating a crazy woman sign. Not that I think I'm as nutty as the ladies he's been talking about. But the sheets, I feel they make me seem insane. I have 2 rules when buying sheets. They must catch my eye and they must be something no one will steal at the public laundry. I don't have the same rules about clothes, haven't had any stolen at a public laundry.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 6:24 PM

incase of emergency grab the space chicken and recite supercalifragilisticexpealidocious :
I like cherries. I really like cherries. I have been known to spend a lot of money on cherries at the market. I'm currently eating some local cherries, clamshell (like I know what difference the kind makes). Yum. I like blueberries and strawberries and loads of other fruit too. Not so much raspberries though. Don't like the seeds.

I've been blog prowling again, getting some laughs before bed and all. I'm going to be taking pics of my tats tomorrow (for Opaco) and was wondering if I should post them here. Does anyone want to see them? Scream now, in the comments.

Mr. Underhill has kindly added me to his blog. Hurrah. I'd like to say (since I can't comment on it I see no link but it could be tech support blindness) that I feel you on the ex thing. I don't think there's a good way to end things, but taking the moral high ground and keeping mum about things said and done, has led to me watching more than a few exes napalm my good name to anyone who would listen. I can't say if they ever got karmic payback, but I still think there's an 18-wheeler out there with the licence plate, bearing down on them. It makes me smile.

I went by Lyvvie's Limelight and answered her who'd you do questions, in her comments natch. Interested? Give her some traffic: http://lyvvielimelight.blogspot.com/

My best friend from College says Julia Roberts should portray me. We have the same laugh and she's a red head/occasional blonde. Given the current cast at Cate's I'm thinking it could be too much, unless I'm just a sweeps friend (do they have sweeps in Britain?).

I'll be back tomorrow, abusing my day off in fine fashion.

Keep blogging :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 1:24 AM

20 July 2005

just wishing and hoping and thinking :
Emily got booted off Canadian Idol. She murdered Crying - Roy Orbison's song. Down to 9 now.

I'm all happy a station I get will start showing the X-Files in the fall. He hehehehehehee. I need to buy tapes.....

Cate wants to have some suggestions as to who I think I should be on her show. I don't know. Any suggestions? I know you don't know what I look like but you have an idea of my personality, type casting is allowed.

I could pick Emma Caulfield, or Emily Deschanel. Sara Rue is a red headed womanly gal. Lisa Ray, Heather Graham, Mandy Moore, Tia Carrere, Tea Leone, Amber Benson .... Oh hell I don't know, this is what casting agents are for.

I'm leaning towards Emmanuel Beart, just beacuse then I'd finally speak french. And she's sexy, always a plus.

It's hard for me tho think of actresses who are my age, blue eyed and have blonde/strawberry blonde hair. I like Jenna Elfman, Andrea Parker but honestly they look older than I do. I guess I have actress vanity. I don't hink it's integral the girl be my height or weight. My sister suggested Jessica Biel, saying that her seventh heaven character was flighty and never satisfied. Nice to know how she sees me. Didn't even want to ask my ma. Haven't been able to ask my best friend from college. She's not online yet.

The one thing I'm really wondering about is why is Pam Anderson marrying Tommy lee again. All I can say is he better have learned some good stuff in college while he was there for his reality show or it'll be divorce court for them again. Of course I hope Pam learned a lot too, during her - well maybe the peroxide fianlly eroded her brain.

Keep blogging.

PS.

This is kind of a fun question to ask people - who do you think would play me if I was on tv?
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 7:55 PM

A promise to all my blog readers :
I promise not to lurk forever on your blogs. To post comments when I have something decent to say and to keep mean cheekiness to myself.

I promise not to get all contrived.

I promise you won’t be coming to my blog only to realize that I’m writing pretty much for a few select readers and not for the enjoyment of everyone. Sure it puts o a smile on my face to have readers/commenters but I write because I have to, like I have to breathe and I’d do it even if no one ever read it (witness the 1140 poems, not including the ones I post here.)

I promise to try to refrain form over explanation. It means I’ll opt for over simplification but you can comment or click the envelope and email me if you need more info.

I promise not to lie about myself. Sarcastrix I never watched Firefly that’s why I didn’t know who Jayne was. I know Adam as Knowle Rohrer on X-Files and I prefer Alex Krycek on that front.

I promise that if I ever travel to your neck of the woods, not only will I ask to stay at your place I’ll want to hang out while I’m there. Feel free to do the same.

I promise to feign ignorance if hanging around my blog causes a change in your attitude that others close to you don’t like.

I promise that radioactive jam can borrow my pitchfork, using the shovel as collateral, after I know where rj lives – just in case :) So can anyone else, with the same stipulations of course.

I promise to not stop the whiny, sometimes bitter, jaded, complaining, self-indulgent, self pitying, self effacing, introspective stuff that makes me apologize to you for posting it.

I promise to keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:42 PM

from where i stand we are home free :
Thank you for dropping by. Happy to get all the comments I got. I think I used up all my unhappy hours for the week yesterday. There's just something about the heat that makes me resolve into a puddle of self pity - you'll be happy to know that it's much nicer (read cooler) today.

"Robin Norwood's self-help book Women Who Love Too Much deals with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of your own needs, you can make yourself sick." - free will astrology dot com. I have done this and I know it's true. I think part of my overall 'problem' may be my Oprah-esque need to please in which I try to make people I shouldn't care about, care about me. Child hood issues really. Working hard to resolve them. May resort to Voodoo :)

Ok so another day, another day off. Today I have - nothing planned. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl. I'm gonna break in my new exercise mat. OOOH LOOK AT ME - Taking fitness seriously enough to buy equipment. Good on me eh? Eventually I'm going to work my way into buying a gym membership I will ACTUALLY use. I can spend 100.00 on a pair of shoes but I'm allergic to spending 450.00 for a years membership to the YMCA. I have a girly girl's thing for shoes without a lot of the body vanity. Go figure.

So catch ya later, have a great day and don't forget to blog :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:21 AM

19 July 2005

i got a dream when the darkness is over we'll be lying in the rings of the sun :
I'm a hopeless romantic. I am currently jealous of everyone in the entire world who has someone to love. Yea you. Don't make me hate you, I'm on the edge and I hava pitchfork!

But seriously. I think I may be suffering the effects of the Cinderella syndrome. I believe I have a knight in shining chrome (c'mon cars have horses) some where. I get despondent at the thought he got run over by a bus, destroyed by a sattellite or that some other horrid fate befell him. Let's face it, I'm supposed to be the only Horrid thing that happens to him - and by hopeless romantic law he HAS to love me anyways.

I'm not any more horrid than the next girl - a lot less so than some. I don't believe in physical violence, cheating, lying or open realtionships. I am a bit of the mind that a relationship means many things, including doing what I want to do. Yep, that's right, I'm the unreasonable sort that feels that my man needs to hang out with me and do stuff I like every now and then. Just like I'm totally doing for him.

I am the dreaded feminist. I hate it when there are people anywhere going on about how women have to settle for what they can get and that no relationship will ever be 50-50. I get fangs and red eyes when I am told women's work will never not be women's work - you can only ever hope that the guy in your life will help out. So guys, is this true? Do you really forget how to cook, clean, put away dirty/clean laundry - as soon as you've got a lady? Is it a deep caveman thing or some unexplored inner child rebellion to the presence of a woman?

I'll admit to my Cinderella syndrome and my cast iron inner bitch. What flaws will Prince Charming admit to?

So far I haven't met* a guy that admits to any. Even if he's a short guy telling me he thinks I'm the quiet/weird/loner chick who he wants to take home so I can tie him up and hurt him. Seriously. I have had a guy believe this was THE opening/pick-up line I would swoon for. It's really insulting/disgusting/infuriating. I was cruel, viscious and I slammed the door in his face (he walked me home from a freind's party and seemd obnoxious but harmless enough). I totally ridiculed him for even saying this to me. He got my number from the 'friend' and called persistently for months. I'd just tell him I wasn't home.

Despite the 5 tats, aforementioned flaws, assertiveness and D.I.Y. attitude I am not a whip me beat me girl. I know that joke - sticks and stones will break my bones but whips and chains excite me. I, in no way at all, am INTO that. I'm not talking light bondage here either this guy wanted to be HURT. He told me. I have no doubts he has a dungeon. No I didn't keep in touch, but I can't believe it was a phase he was going through. I so get turned off just thinking about this.

Romance. I believe in love and long for some romance. I was Snow White but I drifted :) That doesn't make me a bad person, does it? So dear readers. Give me some ideas on how to track down Prince C.? I'm pretty sure he wasn't lo-jacked so doing this the old fashioned way will have to do. Here's a self portrait if it helps with the sugestions :




* in person, face to face, live in technicolour
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:38 PM

i slowly drift back to memories waiting :
20 things I know fer sure:

1) 3 weeks of 90+ degree heat makes you wish you were dead
2) the movie Constantine rocks, so now I’m pissed I didn’t see it in the theatres
3) Deciding to eat healthy causes instant junk food cravings
4) I must have a large ‘cast iron bitch’ sign over my head, it is that hard to make friends here
5) Amber Fleury will win Canadian Idol
6) I’m a shut in on my days off – I go nowhere and see no one
7) There are people in this world who will smile and tell you the management fucking employees over - isn’t really that unreasonable
8) I was born a blonde
9) I spend too much time in the past/future
10) I’d follow the crowd, only if I were a zombie - like them
11) I can tell your future, but you won’t believe me and be pissed when it turns out I was right
12) getting your elbows pierced looks stupid, I don’t care what practical reason you think it has those barbells will not work like brakes when you skid across pavement
13) blue eyes are sensitive to light
14) I’m so lonesome I could cry
15) In the Buffy-verse I’m Anya
16) there is never enough ________________
17) I will do for others what I won’t do for myself
18) the writers of my life got bored and quit
19) I apply for jobs like I fall in love, impulsively and end up wondering what went wrong
20) I hate being the one in charge of my own life today.


Opaco - http://www.ctv.ca/idol/gen/Home.html
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:07 PM

17 July 2005

and the twist in big brother 6 is..... :
oh yea. I'm a tease :) I don't really know this but you can now read my Sunday Top Ten instead.

10) ass like that - eminem
9) don't cha - pussy cat dolls
8) clint eastwood - gorillaz
7) santa monica - everclear
6) never tear us apart - INXS
5) stars - simply red
4) U.G.L.Y - Daphne & Celeste
3) silver springs - Fleetwood Mac
2) special - garbage
1) MLK - U2

Keep blogging :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:39 PM

16 July 2005

got sunshine in a bag, i'm useless but not for long :
I got my pitchfork and I'm scaling my way out of the crater that is my life. See the dust cloud. Hear the grunting. See the black iron three pronged pole come over the edge and land in the dirt? That's right I'll be there in a minute.

Still haven't won the lottery. I did win back the money I spent on the ticket tho. Goody for me. I got paid, so now in true shopaholic fashion, I'm all about spending my chips before the river hits the big blind and I'm forced to go all in and loose my seat at the pokerstars table. Oh ok, just having a Wil Wheaton attack here. I have no IDEA what he's talking about but I go everyday and read his blog. I'm starting to think I should learn about poker - since I'm wondering what all the stuff he's talking about means anyways. BTW Wesley Crusher jokes are forboden. I always thought Wil was gay - I heard it somewhere. Nice to red he's doing well and is happy with his wife and kids.

I read a lot of blogs. Margaret Cho is doing something I've wanted to do for a long time now. I have a secret dream to be a belly dancer. I'm one of those girls that can dance. I LOVE dancing and I don't do it nearly enough :) Oh well. I found out there are classes in town so I'm hoping I can make some kind of arrangement.

I want to thank Hof for adding my link. He may have done it a while ago but I only noticed it now. You can find him to the right under not to pull your halo down.

I know a lot of people are excited about the new HP book. I read the first one, thought it's not the kid of kid's book I like (I owned and loved the Chronicles of Narnia.) I was reading Stephen King when I was 10 and rabidly devoured the entire Hobbit-LOTR trilogy the summer I was 15. I just don't get hepped or excited by HP. The movies are worth it tho. I already know what happens; I can read backwards so I read the plot in the Ottawa Star. I won't tell you, if you like them go read it. It's predictable tho. I saw the one bit a while ago.

I'm probably going to run off and get season's 1&2 of Titus on DVD. I liked that show a lot. Finally there was a family on tv where the dad was like my dad. If you've seen it you know what I mean, and if you haven't - words don't explain it. Really it's heartbreakingly funny.

And the reason I wanted to bring all these letters here and line them up and make them into words for you? I was over at Heightened Thoughts, really funny guy there MPH. I have complained here or in his comments, that I liked his pic better when it was Mark Harmon. The one there now is small and I can't really make it out. So I decided to click on it. I figured it would take me to the profile. I get instead a larger version of the pic and it's ............ Mark Harmon. Yup, I'm a 'tard. I have an IQ of 148 or something and I can't even click on a pic before I complain. Smooth. Now you know why me and the pitchfork are in the crater trying to get out :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:35 PM

15 July 2005

senses working overtime :
DISCLAIMER: I have a seriously lousy sense of smell. This you need to know to explain a. how heinous it smelled outside the other day
b. why I love garlic, and the honey roaste garlic chips didn't smell at all like it c. it is amazing to me that I can discern scents from air I breath
d. BE AFRAID if I bring you something from the fridge and say "smell this and tell me if it's bad."

Since cookie and foilwoman did it I deceided to do it too. It's in no particular order, like I even know what that is :)

Top 10 PG fave sensory experiences:

10) getting into sheets/clothes right out of and still warm from the dryer

9) the music of the song Purple Rain, I can name that tune after 2 notes - it's just part of my soul

8) the first bite of a dark chocolate rum ball from Godiva chocolatiers - gives me tingles

7) the smell of cologne/anxiety/lust that comes off your first date guy while you're dancing in a club

6) the feeling that comes over me whenever someone says they like my writing - I'm always sincerely grateful because I'm amazed anyone reads it

5) the way my mouth tingles, the hair on my arms stands up and the way my mind goes blank when I'm watching a lightening storm

4) going to the theatre to see a movie and really enjoying it

3) laughing so hard I can't breatheand or cry/snort/cover my mouth I'm so loud

2) lying down watching the stars/aurora borealis

1) steaming - when it's just cold enough outside (for wahtever reason) that your breath comes out as steam - I always notice it and laugh a bit and suddenly start paying a lot of attention to my breathing and where I am what I'm doing and what it's like outside - really puts me in the now

because I'm eager to please I'm putting this here

Amber

mouse over it to see why - thanks Radioactive Jam
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:00 PM

got to be starting something :
So I was over here at Hof's blog and I started writing a comment and decided I'd just put the endless ramble that ensued here. Go there and read that first then follow along :)

Amber and the Movie Factory:

I can be unmerciful with some movies. I hate Meet the Parents. I've seen it more than once and I still can't stand it. I liked Meet the Fockers for about 20 minutes then I lost interest and stopped watching. It's because I only like silly Ben Stiller - trying to be straight/serious Ben Stiller I don't like. I love Zoolander and Mystery Men. I don't like Reality Bites.

I loved the effects in the Hulk (I will go to a bad movie just to see the effects - only now it's rent cuz we have no theatre)I didn't like the story. I didn't like the Ring, or the Grudge or Boogeyman or Jeepers Creepers. I have issues with horror being too serious. If you're going to make your people dumb as a stump don't bore us to death by trying to make us care that they’re going to get killed. We know that’s what’s going to happen so give us a reason to keep watching until you kill them. I liked Sean of the Dead, it was funny. It wasn't THAT funny.

I find psychological a better scare than visual. Gore, lots of blood and dramatic music doesn't always do it for me. I still really only get creeped out during Aliens where Sigourney's looking for the kid and she's got that thing that lets her hear the kid's heartbeat. The heartbeating, so much louder than everything else and the thing that may get Ripley killed - that trips me out all the time. The alien is cool. I liked where Ice Pirates spoofed it and called it Space Herpes - because it's an STD. Way funny.

I like weird movies. Cheesy, romantic, dark humour, horror, comedy, drama. Whatever I like some weird ones. I still watch The Jerk, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, The Man With Two Brains, Parenthood, The Lonely Guy and Roxanne from Steve Martin. Don't blame my taste on the eighties, well ok do that because it's true. I still get teary when the robots are turned off in Heartbeeps. I think Keanu Reeve's in The Night Before is hillarious. There is no creepier guy then Rutger Hauer in the Hitcher, but I want to marry him because he's a hero in Ladyhawke. John Cusak. Better off Dead rules if only for the "It's a shame people be throwing away a perfectly good white boy liker that." line. It's really wild to see the jocks pull him out of a trunk in Pretty in Pink. His best romantic moment in the world is when he's telling Minnie Driver how much he wants her back in Grosse Point Blank. He can put a hit on me any day :)

Molly Ringwald's character in Pretty in Pink should have picked Ducky. John Cryer is great. Most a lot of my romantic notions come from film. I can remember thinking 9 1/2 Weeks was so romantic (all my friends did too). We were SO NOT understanding that movie. I still think Valley Girl gets high school romance way too well. I think that the drama we make for ourselves never lives up to the dream of the big Notebook kiss. Mostly, I think that romance in the movies is too overwrought. I've gotten sick of Meg Ryan and anyone films (other than French Kiss of course, and the Presidio but that's for Mark Harmon alone). The boy doesn't always get the girl and it doesn't always work out ok. We don't get to run off into the surf to Mel Gibson's arms because he's not really dead, like in Tequila Sunrise. I'm still a sucker for period romance like A Room With a View and Out of Africa.

I think the Gerard Depardieu version of Cyrano De Bergerac is the most fascinating foriegn film I want to watch again and again. I also watch Too Beautiful For You (this is the English title) whenever it's on. I'm a huge fan of Jean Reno too, since the Professional. The Brotherhood of the Wolf, also French, is the most beautiful werewolf movie I've ever seen. I like Pedro Almodovar films. I've seen just about anything I've heard of, or I intend to eventually :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:05 PM

13 July 2005

there's a world outside :
I went out. Maybe to get some junk food. I found it's disgusting outside. With the humidity, smog warning and dying grass/flowers/people it smells like an armpit out there. Seriously town air needs som Arrid Xtra Dry stat. Or whatever industrial b.o. protector movie stars use because it's stank out there!!!!!!

I noticed something. A while back public works dug up all the grass along the street side of the sidewalk and filled it in with clay/dirt. We were speculating that this was part of the 'put cobblestones everywhere for no reason' project that started downtown by the court house last month. I'm allergic to grass when it's freshly cut but I don't like seeing it disappear for no reason. Especially to be replaced by clay which is then

duhn

duhn

duhn

painted hunter green. It doesn't even match with any of the shades of green in the area so it's VERY noticable. It looks loke someone decided "Hey this looks crap this clay with nothing growing on it. Let's paint it to look like grass." Then someone else goes "Why sure we have some paint left over from sprucing up the local tennis court. We can use that!" And a bureaucratic travesty is born.

So now I have eaten a handfull of honey roasted garlic potato chips (only a handfull I swear because I got tired of them fast. Another reason why I wait them cravings out, feeding them after a long wait is anti-climatic and then it's easy to keep the snack small. Weird I know.) and am watching a Veronica Mars re-run that it seems I missed originally. I'm waiting for rock star INXS. I like these contestants, they can sing. I missed it yesterday. Silly me. I read the MSN recap. Seems like a tough vote, wish I'd heard the songs tho.

Keep blogging.

P.S. I know I've been prolific today, but it's hard not to do something other than sleep the day away. I so am not a R&R girl. Someone send me some tequila :)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:04 PM

save me from these bonds of :
I know what foods are bad for me. That said I've been going through cravings, ladies you understand. I'm unoriginal here I want sweet and salty things. Yesterday I had a large bag of chips. Today I'm polishing off a 2 litre of pepsi with lime. I'm trying to convince myself not to go out and get another bag of chips. About every 6 weeks I hit this point where I'm a bottomless pit and no matter waht I eat I want more, especially sweet and salty stuff and I want it ALL THE TIME. During this 3-5 days I also, mysteriously, don't gain or lose weight. (In the following week I don't gain any either). During this time I'm in love with my metabolism. I have lots of energy and sleep well and eat like there's no end to my hunger. Basically I become Homer Simpson on speed.

During these times I think about food like every second. Random images of eclairs, dark chocolate bars, chicken wings, bacon double cheese burgers and giant bags of chips flash before my eyes endlessly. Ice cream fantasies take over my train of thought and deep fried scents assail me where ever I am. TV doesn't help. TV is a total enabler. Showing me countless commercails making me want more fast food, cheap non nutritious food. It's too hot to cook - still. That doesn't help me keep up my resolve to eat more fruits and veggies. Even the biggest best grilled steak with fried mushrooms would find me finishing the meal with a huge peice of decadent chocolate cake and or some french fries.

I know 2 things, 1) I'm not really hungry. I just ate I feel full. My mind is having none of it. The cravings are making me loony and the longer I wait the worse they get. 2) There is nothing I can do to make it go away for this time. I've tried every diet, every gum, patch, meditation, mantra and televised diversion. When I get this wway I think I know what it is to be in rehab or quitting smoking. Except there is no rehab for this that I know of.

SO, I'll sit here and try to wait it out so I don't backslide into the weight of the world. Canadian Idol isn't helping and I shouldn't be watching prime time, there'll be nothing but Pizza Slut -er Hut commercials on and Whooper ads, Mickey D's will taunt me with good looking food, Miracle Whip will show me sandwhich making dogs, I'll be endlessly regaled with food. And in the end I'll have a bowl of branf fibre cereal and go to bed. After all I did already eat a bag of chips yesterday (and swore then never again because I felt awful for hours) and drank a bottle of pepsi today. I've done a week's worth of junk fooding in the last couple of days.

I blame it on these guys at work, with their 20-something smiles, pimping wine gums and super nibs. Eventually I get convinced to have one candy then another and then the body burns through the sugar high and you need more, more, more. Also I secretly believe it's because my mind keeps wondering if I'm bored. Eating is something I can do passively, while doing other things. Chewing gum isn't the same. Having sex isn't the same. Maybe I'll go get an ice cream cone, the walk there and back will at least work off some of the chips and pop :) I'm not bored I'm just really unused to relaxing, really relaxing. I haven't done it in so many years I'm seriously out of practice and then I worry and then I get stressed and then I (say it with me) stress eat. I may need therapy :)

Are you hungry yet?
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 7:31 PM

I love to feel the rain in the summertime :
Hello all. Nice to see you, you're looking well :)

We had lightening storms last night and most of this morning so I was kept offline out of fear of frying my only connection the my new social circle :)

What did I do?

I thought of course.

I thought perhaps the people upstairs (there appears to be at least 3 of them living in that bachelor) could be running a meth lab, that would explain all the noise every hour of the day and night. Today the meth lab sounds like a nursery school so maybe I'm wrong somewhere. All I want is no banging on the floor between 6 am and 10 am ok? Pretty please. I may have to write a letter ...

I thought about how I was in my relationship with my ex. Mostly because I've got this little work social circle of guys right now, and it's all them talking about girls and how hot/not hot they are, or how they believe in open relationships (at 23), how they have issues, what said issues are and about lying. Guys seem to hate it too. Go figure?

I realized a couple of days back that I was committing the cardinal sin of relationships in my marriage. I was trying to change my man. The reality was he totally faked me out, had me convinced he was this uber great guy who was honest and caring and wouldn't hurt a fly. After the I do's things changed a lot and I was forever hearing how I knew what I was getting into when we got married and I was just a selfish harpy trying to make him change. I denied it at the time but he was right. I was trying to change him.

I wanted to change him back into the man I thought he was when we were going out. The man he pretended to be was the man I loved and missed and wanted back so much I was willing to go through whatever because I was sure he was there, somewhere. It was a mirage and I almost died in that desert, but I'm getting healthy now. Thank you for reading this, I know I talk about it a lot. I'm trying to learn from it so I don't do it again. A repeat mistake could land with me with a real bad ass that would kill me. I like living thank you very much.

Oh depressing, blame it on the rain.

I thought about rain songs too. Songs that have rain in the title or lyrics are:

blame it on the rain - milli vanilli
rain in the summer time - the alarm
i wish it would rain down - phil collins
let it rain - amanda marshall
rain - madonna
i can't stand the rain - tina turner
rainy days and sundays - i don't know the carpenters maybe
raindrops keep falling on my head - manic street preachers
why does it always rain on me - travis
november rain - guns 'n' roses
purple rain - prince
i made it through the rain - barry manilow
who'll stop the rain - creedence clearwater revival
red rain - peter gabriel
here comes the rain again - the eurythmics
prayers for rain - the cure

ok I've gone on a bit here, sorry. It was fun trying to think of all these tho, trying to keep the Alzheimer’s at bay.

I went to work for 6 hours and wondered if anyone would comment on my blog. I've been wondering all day about which gym in town to join. I'm sooo very close to the Y but the place that is less crowded and offers my employers employees a discount is farther away over a large non side walked hill. I have to find out if there's an alternate route there. With that done I'll make a commitment to bettering my health. I need to exercise more, I'm hating this couch potato lifestyle - mostly because it doesn't alleviate my total boredom. Sad when you miss your ex, crazy ex (read Scared Bunny the link on the left for more of this) - because at least it wasn't dull. Oh I'm messed up I think :) really I'm just bored/tired of the cyclacality of my life where I end up alone and wondering how to find a really honest and good man.

Being single in a small town sucks if you're not a major drug addict or slut. Trust me on this :) Clean living is overrated and BTW Rob Lowe I'll buy your car for a dollar, maybe then I can get to where people with similar interests to mine reside.


Also I'd like to appologise, I temporarily lost all ability to spell or spell check yesterday morning and left a few rather un-writerly comments. I also appologise to everyone I spoke to Monday, funnily enough I forgot how to speak English all together that day and since it's the only language I know how to speak well - everyone was confused :) I lead an occasionally hilarious existence, not portrayed by this entry.

Cate - thank you very much :0)
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 2:47 PM

11 July 2005

Sunday top 10, only later k? :
I was too tired to think about this yesterday. Work will do that to you :)

10) Euroshima - John Waite
9) Jesse's Girl - Rick Springfield
8) Like Glue - Sean Paul
7) Speed of Sound - Coldplay
6) Edge of Seventeen - Stevei Nicks
5) Man I Used to Be - K-OS
4) P.I.M.P - 50 Cent
3) Violet - Hole
2) Scene of a Perfect Crime - Concrete Blonde
1) Behind These Hazel Eyes -Kelly Clarkson
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:36 AM

10 July 2005

to dream a dream, any dream - these dreams are real :
I slept well. I know you're glad. Sometimes the ancient bed works :)

I dreamed last night. I dreamed I was a normal person alternately with large body building man muscles and with basket baller jumping skills, in this odd house. In this house there were two levels. They weren’t' totally divided but they were separate. On the one level was a man (and his family) who were being terrorized and hunted by a fleet of on man attack helicopters. These choppers could be avoided by getting to the second level, reachable by jumping and catching onto these swimming pool type stair cases. I got up there easily enough from the front door where the only regular stairway existed. I found the guy and tried to save him but he sent me looking for his wife and son on the second level. So I go all slo-mo action movie and dodge gunfire and make an amazing leap at a pool stairs and - make it. Even I am amazed as it was like 35 feet off the ground. White girl can jump. So I climb up and find woman and son eating minute rice in a closet/library right out of architectural digest.

Now I'm in a hospital. I live in the hospital and I'm trying to get to work. I don't work there. There are a lot of older people there trying to get me to help them and I'm dressed in a club outfit. I'm also like 125 pounds and about 20 years old. I'm trying to get to work. I run into a convention of people I don't want to see, ever. I go the other way and walk into this giant chi-chi frou-frou restaurant, where my gorilla-looking hulk of a boss is waiting in line with a cell phone glued to his head. He sees me and bitches me out for not being at work as I make a 180 turn and run back through the hospital. I end up in a bar. Wonderfully decorated bar with blonde wood floors, black marble tables and bar, chrome accents and awesome music. I'm attacked by the need to dance and a million sexy men appear. I'm dancing, even while I'm trying to slide across the dance floor and get to work I don't want to go. But I have to the boss knows I'm late already.

Then I'm in some house somewhere with my sister and we're arguing/talking about why I have to go to work. I keep saying I have to go because I was already sick this week and I need the $$ I can't take another day off. And she's mad and sulking and repeating that I should take the time it won't kill me to hang out with her. Eventually I wake up.

All I can think about is how the longer the dream went on the more shadowy everything was. There was brightness and daylight outside, I could see it but I was always inside and it was increasingly more gloomy and poorly lit. The bar was great til all the cute guys got there and blocked out the light, but not the doors. My sister and I were almost totally in darkness yet we were infront of a window with a bright daytime scene. The part where I met my boss was all tinted blue like in Underworld - that kind of horror movie affected darkness.

I did eventually get out into the light while trying to get to work from the hospital, but I had to turn around and go back inside because I couldn't get to work that way. I will be out in the light soon enough though. Guess I'd better go to work, I convinced myself before my eyes even opened that it was the right thing to do :)

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:25 AM

09 July 2005

dark shadows are dancing my coat of colors is torn :
Outside my window I can see pink and grey sky. It was raining most of the day and there are lots of clouds in the sky still. We got enough rain in the last 24 hours to cause basements to flood in the area. I don't live in the basement I live on the first floor. I am worried what will happen if it rains more. I need to keep my few possessions in as good shape as I can.

Right now CityTv, who read the post about sci-fi guys (while ignoring my plea to put X-Files back on their sister station), have decided to show 3 episodes of Battlestar Galactica. Have they been doing this long? I don't know I was working this time the two Saturdays previous. My guess is yes, as I saw the first show of the new series and this wasn't it. I believe the good doctor with the cylon fetish (is he time shifting/mentally disturbed?) just realised he is the machine's god. I may be wrong. I'm cleaning my glasses and not paying proper attention to the show.

I don't particularly like that Starbuck is a woman. Really because they're using it as a petty ploy to examine gender issues and the whole bit about her not thinking rationally and the men needing that to defeat the cylons and get to the trillium (whatever) fuel was so demeaning. Sure it worked but plain speaking doesn't have to equal putting someone down. I don't like the heavy handedness of "you're a girl so you always have to prove yourself, no one will believe in you." Also I'm not keen on the cylon's causing the most trouble being women. Too much gender stuff and I'm too Buffy-ized I guess. I believe in girl power and it being shown positively.

To me, so far, I object to the negative aspect given to most of the women in the show. I have seen the final episode so I'm not insane here. Also I like my sci-fi likeable and none of these people are really likeable. Gritty reality in sci-fi doesn't fly, it's not reality and to pretend it is is ok but be even about it. I'm not looking for warm fluffy bunnies all the time, but let's do have someone, anyone or anything, to care about. There are few redeeming qualities to these folks and I think the whole prophecy idea is way overdone.

Poor President is insane too, and having visions. Oh my. Does any central character here not have visions? I really wish it were a triple play of the 4400. I liked that show from episode right off.

This message brought to you by The Unhappy hour.

Keep blogging!!!!
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:42 PM

08 July 2005

the new phone book's here, the new phone book's here :
The new couch is in the house. Massive redecorating has begun. I now long for a computer desk and new bed. Priorities.

I've been feeling like hell, mostly because I ran out of acid reflux pills and have been feeling the burn. No fun.

I want to send a shout out to Rob Lowe who's supposed to be homeless for a month with Euro trash living at his place. Check him in the links to the left. Good luck Rob.

Razafraggin is on liquid morphine, so he feels better than I and I'm wishing him a speedy recovery. Also thanks for the link. Rafe, thanks for the link, VallhallaShoes thanks for the link, MPH thanks for the link, Cate thanks for the link and The Complimenting Complimentor has me down as someone participating in the 100 compliments of summer. Thanks to Opaco for the link, check the site and give an opinion on the new site layout. It's different than before.

So as not to be totally boring, and to make my lurking best friend from college here's a tale.

When I was in college I lived in many places. In one house there was 4 of us girls together. Upstairs there were all guys in law school and in the basement too. The guy right above me played Eminem's My Name Is all year. I hated him. He was an idiot and called me the fat ugly one. My stereo was way better than his and one day we freaked them out by blasting the Dixie Chicks at building shaking levels. No more noise problems after that but we moved out the next day.

Anyways, one day my best pal and me decide since we're home alone and broke we're gonna cook. We can do it we're acquainted with the idea of cooking and usage of the stove. I have taken several home ec classes. We settle on poutine. For those of you unfamiliar with this it's fries, gravy and cheese (usually cheese curs but we were using shredded mozza). We were stoked. We had a giant pot; we filled it with oil to cook the fries. We peeled and washed the spuds. We had a wire basket to use for our masterpiece of frying.

So we turn on the stove. We put the bowl of water with cut chips in it by the stove. We fill the basket. We submerge the basket. We watch in horror as the oil boils over into the element and sets the stove on fire. My best bud runs screaming out the front door and into the street while I, because I took home ec, take the pot off the stove, shut off the stove and cover the flames with the largest pot lid we have. Major crisis averted and we don't even set off the fire alarm.

My best friend is out in the street. I tell her to come back in and we have a laugh about her running away. Way cool in the face of a crisis and she wants to work in a hospital when she graduates. So we begin cleaning up. We take the entire stove apart to clean it and we even have oil on the floor so we mop, mop, mop it up with paper towels. Our place didn't have an actual mop. Then we return to making poutine. We are, after all, aware that if we dry the chips before frying the fire thing won't happen. It was a good snack after all we'd worked up an appetite.

Our nasty bulimic roommate and her minion came home later that day and insisted we'd done something horrible to the kitchen floor. We flat out lied about our adventures in deep-frying. That night nasty girl got down on her hands and knees and scrubbed the wooden floor, insisting she couldn't stand the awful smell anymore and how could we not smell it. We laughed about it then. We still laugh about it now.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:47 PM

07 July 2005

if wishes were horses beggars would ride :
The Best Looking SCI-FI/Fantasy/Horror Guys
In no particular order

Michael Shanks
Daniel Jackson – Stargate SG-1 Gabriel – Andromeda

Forever known to me as ‘extra-crispy’ Daniel Jackson :) I think the best thing ever was watching him kick
Christopher Judge’s ass on Andromeda. They believe in leather pants there. His last name always makes me laugh tho.

James Marsters
Spike – Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel Charlemagne Bolivar – Andromeda

This one’s for G-Lo. Cool and spunky, looks good in leather, and I just found out he’s a singer.

David Boreanaz
Angel/Angelus – Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel

Tall dark and handsome. Looks good in anything. Has a great smile. A tv crush obviously. I loved the Angel episode where he dances like a dork with Alexis Denisof in the background.

Keanu Reeves
Neo/Thomas Anderson – The Matrix Trilogy

I don’t know what it is about Keanu, I have a love hate relationship with him but in the end he makes me smile. I even forgave him for Johnny Mneumonic.

David Duchovny
Fox Mulder - The X-Files Dr. Ira Kane - Evolution
This guy is funny and sexy. I share him with Cate.

Martin Landau
Commander John Koenig – Space 1999

I was 9 and this was the first sci-fi show I ever saw. He was my hero, everyone’s hero and I’m still a fan.

Keith Hamilton Cobb
Tyr Anasazi – Andromeda

Now I’ve known about this hunk since he was on All My Children. I found him on Canada Day during the Andromeda marathon. Lucky me.

George Clooney
Chris Kelvin - Solaris Seth Gecko – From Dusk Till Dawn

The thing about George is he seems to have a good sense of humour about himself. Put him in a vampire movie and you have fun.

Wesley Snipes
Blade – Blade Trilogy Simon Phoenix – Demolition Man

Wesley is great.

Thomas Jane
Carter Blake – Deep Blue Sea Dr. Henry Delvin – Dreamcatcher Frank Castle – The Punisher
Thomas Jane just looks good all wet in Deep Blue Sea. I saw the other ones because of that.

Jason Lee
(voice)Syndrome/Buddy Pine - The Incredibles Joe 'Beaver' Clarenden - Dreamcatcher Azrael - Dogma

I just like the guy ok?

Rutger Hauer
Lothos – Buffy The Vampire Slayer Movie John Ryder – The Hitcher Captain Etienne Navarre - Ladyhawke Roy Batty – Blade Runner
Many more
Rutger Hauer in Nighthawks. I still remember that and I’ve seen most of what he’s done since, at least the English stuff. The guy does great work. I’ll never look at French fries the same way again.

What can I say I've been feeling un-well and needed cheering up and started thinking about guys and here you have the result.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 5:03 PM

06 July 2005

imagine what I could do with a real budget :
new couch Posted by Picasa


I went out on a mission today. I was going to get a couch that didn't cost $75 or more, that would be delivered and I was getting it today. I got it. For $8.67. From Goodwill. It kind of looks like the one above, it's just more orange and it doens't come with the guys from Metallica. Now that would have been a great deal

person: what did you do today?
me: I went out and picked up a couch and a rock band.
person: what band?
me: Metallica.
person: what kind of couch?
me: orange velour 3 seater. decent shape.
person: how much didja pay?
me: $8.67.
person: for everything?
me: yea and the guys walked it over themselves.
person: well even still you got ripped off on that deal.
me: how's that?
person: well now you have a couch full of Metallica. you still have nowhere to sit.
me: oh yea.....

he he he

keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:08 PM

05 July 2005

i wanna change my hair my clothes my face :
I was out and about looking for something to replace this tired old chair pic and I found this. Cute and dangerous. So me :)


me now Posted by Picasa


If you're looking for something envrionmentally friendly and oddly funny go here and watch this, it's a hoot : http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:43 PM

ok people - pony up and lay down your two cents :
1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 4:11 PM

out stopping traffic on the boulevard :
xxx content Posted by Picasa


You have been warned. No complaining.

I'm a newly minted single girl (regardless of legal formalities). Every single girl needs a friend, and with that in mind I went off to the local toy store. It's a nice inconspicuous place just of the main drag downtown. It's called Sensual Pleasures. I went in not knowing what to expect and was confronted with an exiting patron. Said patron wore the astonished look of someone caught doing something wrong. Basically the blatant fear in his eyes exclaimed "I am dirty old man and this lady knows it for a fact!" We said our hi's and he took off like a man on fire, staring at the floor and turning colours all the way.

Inside the shop you come through a hall into the main area where the nice older gent at the cash greets everyone. I got a hearty Hello. Every guy in the store came to attention and spun around to see what had walked into the store. What indeed. I had walked into a toy store SLASH video store. The tension in the place quadrupled as every guy in there, video in hand, blushingly turned back to the racks. I made my way, chortling as quietly as I could, to the toy area.

I have the impression that women NEVER go in there. Even though there is a decent selection of toys for girls I didn't see any marketed at guys. Since they have a giant video area I'm figuring the guy toys could be in the back of that area. Maybe there just aren't any, but that seems cruel. All those Seymour Butts videos and not even a blow up doll to share it with? Single guys have it, pardon the pun, so hard :) I took a while looking over the goods and thinking the toy store in Ottawa that caters to Lesbians is so much more - well lit, less desperate, sans aura of dirtiness.

I selected my toy and went to the cash. The nice gent at the counter refused to even look up from said counter at me. He took the toy and put batteries in to show it was working and then stuffed it back into its case and quickly bagged it. That done he took my money and, only when he returned the change, looked right at me and shouted HAVE A NICE DAY. Yea I think I embarrassed him too. I don't get embarrassed about sex stuff; I'm not embarrassed of my body or my needs. All this weirdness about the chick in the toy store was too much for me, I think it's hilarious and I had to share the tale.

Form the embarrassment and haste of the newly minted dirty old man at the door to the forced cheeriness of the cashier; I really feel ladies are so not visiting the place. I still am laughing at their discomfort. Yes fellas there's a new girl in town, one who likes guys and sex and even buys toys. OMG there's gonna be some blue talk tonight I can tell you, the Legion crowd will have a lot to grumble about because all of them stared as I walked down the streets with my new toy in the BLACK bag. People usually stare when I go by because I have tattoos and this is small town nowhere. They stare at everyone with anything that says I'm different. I was greeted by a few sneers from guys glancing at the BLACK bag and then at me. They know where it's from but I bet they think there are videos in it, not a toy.

Whatever. I am not ashamed. I like sex.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 4:00 PM

03 July 2005

once more into the mental playlist :
Tonight's fast fact - The guy that plays Harold, from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, was in the episode of Felicity that was on yesterday BEFORE I went to work. He played the student complaining to Noel (yummy Scott Foley), while holding a Crocodile Dundee-esque (THIS IS A KNIFE) knife, about how it's important that the issue of his roommate wanting to kill him gets cleared up soon. I have to say maybe this is where they got the idea to cast Scott Foley in Scream 3. I also have to say the hot guys were and are still the only reason I watch Felicity.

10) Edge of a Broken Heart - Vixen
9) Wasted Time - Skid Row
8) Life Could Be Worse - Barney Bentall and The Legendary Hearts
7) Precious - Annie Lennox
6) All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
5) Wax Ecstatic - Sponge
4) Fascination Street - The Cure
3) Don't Cha - Pussy Cat Dolls
2) That I Would Be Good - Alanis
1) whatever that marching band song is they play at carnivals and parades
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:25 PM

this is me, kicking your ass :
Walking to work today, on a perfectly serviceable sunny day replete with breezes and such and quite enjoying myself I realised something. Time is ticking away. Life is passing me by.

I see life as this little thing that got away from me once and it has snowballed into this giant out of control thing I can't get my head nor hands around. I'm stuck in a relationship with time that is not unlike the one that Indian Jones found himself in after inadequately weighting the pedestal after snatching the golden idol. Only in my life the booby trap known as life repeatedly crushes me. Sisyphus has nothing on me.

I'm saddened to find that all those 'old' people who told me that time only goes by faster the older you get were right. I swear I was just sitting there thinking how 6 minutes felt more like 17 years and then I blink and that moment happened a week ago. I start wondering if maybe I've lapsed into a deep depression and have started lapsing into fugue states. That I can remember what I’ve done for all the time passed pretty much rules this out. I'm so not liking the new speedier version of life I'm living. How can time fly by so fast when I don't really enjoy my job? How can the hours just disappear in the tilt of my smile?

I can see Time now, that uppity punk on a skateboard zooming by and in the blink of an eye, stealing another 24 hours. I didn't used to see Time at all, now I see Time everywhere. Sweeping up the remnants of some one's youth, my June, your nightmare. Time likes to walk around with me and tell those long winded "remember the time..." stories. I can't always do so anymore and Time rejoices in this, rubbing its hands gleefully and sneering, "I told you so." Time sits with me and wheedles on about how fun things used to be. Fuck off I say.

Time's been kicking my ass since time immemorial. Time doesn't give a shit about me in any real sense - I'm just a clock-watcher and so more aware of it. That's the rub. If I had some happening things going on I'd be so not having any time for Time. As I sit here and write there is a FREE STUFF extravaganza going on down the street. Someone's moving out. Time was I'd be there picking through everything looking for trinkets. I should go grab up what I can of the furniture but I can't bring it back here by myself. There are no comfy chairs/decent couches though. I already looked.

I'm in no hurry for yard sale shopping. I'm in no hurry at all. Which, you see Time, is how I'm kicking your ass.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:58 PM

MenTal fUrbAll