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From the ghost land of the easy life.

17 November 2007

feeling old by 21 never thought my time would come :
Sass is saying something about how hate can poison everything, over on
her blog. I'm a transitory person. I write my bullshit out here and
I don't think about it much more. I've always been the kind of writer
that writes to vent. I don't always write about what it is that's
niggling at me either and I can extrapolate from something someone
said to the point where I end up is not even close to where the thing
I mentioned started. Does that make me a liar? Do painters wonder if
their vision is a faithful reproduction of the exact moment in time?
Maybe, but it's all subjective.

I know that hate is a poison. While I can say I hate my roommates, I
sincerely do that for maybe 1 day a week and the rest of the time I
don't care about them at all. I've never hated anyone or anything in
any way that is all encompassing and eternal. I know people far too
well to be able to carry on with caring about them in that fashion. I
can just let it go and move on, which I think will come as a shock to
soon to be the former roommates. They think we'll stay in touch and I
think I don't care to know them anymore, so they're gone and it's
pretty much adios for my interest in them. Really they suck as
friends. I don't need enemies I have them already.

Today I can say I hate them because they are thoughtless idiots who
decided cleaning the house at 7 am was so important that it didn't
matter if I was sleeping. Apparently they couldn't find time in their
busy day of sitting on their asses yesterday to do all the house
cleaning, or perhaps they were hoping I was going to do it for them.
Free maid service ended October 31st for the chores I was still doing,
which weren't many. Because of the racket I wanted to get up and beat
them to death with the space heater. I haven't been sleeping well and
I'm grouchy as hell. Their inherent thoughtlessness has reached a
level even I can't take and I've still got a week before they leave.
Oh and I'm not actually going to be left alone. They've kindly told
their brother that he can move in with me, without even asking me or
anything. He's thinking about it. He doesn't actually want to pay
rent or utilities though, so I can say no to it. I'm not sure that
would make a difference at this point as they are doing what ever they
want and fuck me. Why he isn't staying with them at their actual
place I don't know, except they may not trust me. And they shouldn't.
I'd move out today if I could live in a storage unit with my stuff.

On the bright side there are suddenly several peripheral people trying
hard to help me get out of the house, so I'm not stuck there. I'd
love nothing more then to look at them Monday night and say "Gee I'm
moving December 1st, who are you going to have stay here?" because
this is a problem they created, I'm just trapped in it. I could break
away for 860 dollars a month, if one person is correct about the
apartment and it's availability. That's a bit more then I wanted to
spend; however I can't say it will be less or more then I will be
paying all alone in the townhouse this winter. I'm overly tired of
even thinking about the endless ways in which this can be a horrible
thing for me. And not just because there is still no actual furnace
in the house, over a week later and my roommates won't do ANYTHING
about it.

Really I'm expecting to go home this week and find out that they have
sublet the damn place and I have nowhere to live, because they are
still sneaking around taking calls that they don't want me to over
hear or know about. If I had a dollar for every time the phone rang
and they ran upstairs and closed the door to the room they were hiding
in I'd be able to buy my own house. I know they were a risk when I
went into this, because they are lazy slobs but this conniving sneaky
ass bullshit is too much. That and they hacked my gmail to read my
email. I have so much faith in all that they say and do, and if you
believe that then you are probably not going to understand many of the
words I used on this page.

Keep blogging.

ghost writer Ambrrrr at 7:53 PM

MenTal fUrbAll