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From the ghost land of the easy life.

02 November 2007

bleeding through a tourniquet smile :
Friends of convenience, substitute buddies, replacement pals, stand ins and back up "friends".  All names for what you are if you are the person who is left when someone has exhausted every other avenue of palling around.  You're not even picked last, you just aren't even considered until there is no one else left.  The last resort when some one is bored or lonely is you.

If you're dating the person then there's a lot of it's not me it's you.  Cries for space and me time and permeate even the seemingly closest of alliances and you've run into the ice cold stone wall of the end.  The person has lost all interest in you, even as a back up.  You may have become a lower form of amusement, like an ego prop or object of derision but you aren't going to get back to any place but the bottom of the not thought of barrel in this situation.

So what do you do?  When you're dying for someone to talk you off the ledge and not only does no one answer but they don't return your calls either?  When you need a helping hand not a hollow platitude?  Well if you are lucky there are other people to turn to, ones who really listen and help and care.  If you're not then you are busted up with the realization the you are in a one sided 'friendship' with someone whose only interest in you is what they can get or how you make them feel better about themselves.  Maybe you are a charity project, maybe they decided that not being your 'pal' was too hard so they just didn't let you in on the fact that they couldn't care less.

If you're really unlucky, that person who doesn't care is someone you have to see on a regular basis.  Then you will have to find a way not to feel worse, or fall back into the pattern you have with them.  You'll have to find a way to make sure that they can't just be your friend when it's convenient for them, because that's not friend ship and anyone who tells you it is, is a LIAR.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 3:44 PM

MenTal fUrbAll