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blue eyes, crooked teeth, intellectual, goofball, slacker, socialist.

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What Came Before

2005.05 2005.06 2005.07 2005.08 2005.09 2005.10 2005.11 2005.12 2006.01 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.07 2008.09 2008.10 2009.01 2010.01 2010.03 2010.05

From the ghost land of the easy life.

05 March 2007

it's gonna be alright just wait and see :
I'm missing something that I can't put my finger on. I fell it's been gone for a while now and I don't know where it went or what it is. I just know I'm lighter now and it's weird. I'm not too worried or panicked. A lousy customer swore at me at work and I acted rattled but I wasn't. I should have been but it was an act, like when I hit something and I know it should hurt so I say ow. But it didn't really hurt even though I got a bruise.

In someways I've changed a lot and in other ways I see myself regressing. It's bizarre. I get a bit freaked when an old attitude starts rearing it's ugly head. It's weird how I thought I was over them. There's also a plethora of new stuff I'm thinking these days too that leaves me wondering if I'm not the girl I used to be. Between the 2 I sit and wonder who am I going to end up being and how much of what I think of as myself will I lose or toss to do that. Just the other day I got seriously excited about the 3 day novel contest. I'm a writer, not a well disciplined one or one with any really log term ideas, but I so want to get the hell off my ass and do that contest. Step one is finding out if I can get the time off. Step 2 is obviously applying. Step three, well that's doing it of course and the idea really excites me, it excited me the last time I thought about it and it will excite me again.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:30 PM

MenTal fUrbAll