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my peeps The Boys

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blue eyes, crooked teeth, intellectual, goofball, slacker, socialist.


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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

05 March 2007

it's gonna be alright just wait and see :
I'm missing something that I can't put my finger on. I fell it's been gone for a while now and I don't know where it went or what it is. I just know I'm lighter now and it's weird. I'm not too worried or panicked. A lousy customer swore at me at work and I acted rattled but I wasn't. I should have been but it was an act, like when I hit something and I know it should hurt so I say ow. But it didn't really hurt even though I got a bruise.

In someways I've changed a lot and in other ways I see myself regressing. It's bizarre. I get a bit freaked when an old attitude starts rearing it's ugly head. It's weird how I thought I was over them. There's also a plethora of new stuff I'm thinking these days too that leaves me wondering if I'm not the girl I used to be. Between the 2 I sit and wonder who am I going to end up being and how much of what I think of as myself will I lose or toss to do that. Just the other day I got seriously excited about the 3 day novel contest. I'm a writer, not a well disciplined one or one with any really log term ideas, but I so want to get the hell off my ass and do that contest. Step one is finding out if I can get the time off. Step 2 is obviously applying. Step three, well that's doing it of course and the idea really excites me, it excited me the last time I thought about it and it will excite me again.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:30 PM

MenTal fUrbAll