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From the ghost land of the easy life.

20 January 2007

you take me the way i am :
I've been trying to slowly move myself in a new crisper mental direction. What with the endless whiteboard wars, craptastic working conditions and all the slights perceived and real to myself - I've been throwing about a lot of mental baggage. I've got an interesting quilt going on though, one I will run out of wool for before I'm finished.

It was my birthday Thursday and I met some nice new and creepy new people. I was surprised so many people turned up since most were 'umm I'm not sure if I'll come...'. I got presents and cake, it was the bestest birthday in 20 odd years. I found out most people see themselves as trusting and apparently that makes me suspicious by default. Oh well, it's better for me as I've been taken for many a ride in my short life.

I did realize that my social circle is not the place to find love, that even if it's there it's not the stand up and be known kind so I'm still single and that's like a disease I'll never be cured of I'm sure. In the mean time I'm eveluating my habits and taking stock in the things I've been relying on. If I'm going to move ahead with my fabulous new glass free life where I work out and move on, then I so have to watch myself. I tend to use any excuse to grab a bag of chips, eat an unhealthy amount of anything low on the nutritional scale and generall laze about accomplishing nothing.

With my shifts being so late in the afternoon to start I should be out galavanting around but I'm not. I can blame -27 with the windchill today but there's not much of an excuse for the rest of the days this year where the weather was good and I sat in my room until starting time doing sweet piss all. At least I am aware that I'm taking hte change slow, I am taking it slow as my foot is just coming back online in it's entirety. I am glad to say that the nerve damage I thought I might have appears to have been realted to either the state of my foot at the time or how I was walking on it, as my foot feels fine now. It still has this giant annoying but totatlly unpainful pack of scar tissue in it, but I'll live and I won't even limp.

It's all kind of fun wonderful and I've got stuff to look forward to. I know each new year and situation brings new problems and awesomeness. I'm looking for the glory this year. Even if I have to get an electron microscope I'm going ot find it.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 2:13 PM

MenTal fUrbAll