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From the ghost land of the easy life.

31 October 2006

your moment will run out cause of your sex chromosome :
Sometimes ignorance is bliss. You wait and you wonder about something and if you ar patient, all questions are answered. What if it feels like the wrong answers? What is it's not what you wanted? If you are getting what you need, how do you reconcile that with how you see yourself? Sure I'm an open and honest person, but being challenged on all my biases, being made to wonder what I even have standards for is wearing thin. Apparently I can't be trusted to think for myself or to pick things for myself -> because it all turns into a perverse charicature of what I've always thought I wanted.

I get it, I do. I have to stop wanting things. Obviously this is what the universe is trying to tell me. I'm not stuck with the Xfiles literal evil genie universe am I?? If I am, kill me now because I'm seven seconds from postal. Seriously.

It's halloween. I'm getting dressed, I'm going out, I'm going to lean on my friends. I don't think I'll tell them why, being a dreamer and all, broken dreams are hard to explain. Then there's the entire patheticness factor. Oh I know I'm totally pathetic. I know I have no excuses for the what I do and I get myself into trouble everytime because I see the good in everyone. Some people like that about me but I'm pretty certain it's my biggest flaw. I always end up disappointed in the quest to conquer my own fears and find what I deserve because I am Schrödinger's cat's. I also like Wikipedia for the info on the cat. And because I'mnot a total sad sack you have to go here and see the cat for yourself.

I'm going to go out and get food and then set about making the rest of the day good and glorious. As best as I can what with leaning on my friends and all, and while I do that I have to hope the Gods stop thinking of my desires as their own personal irony pond and smile at me just a bit there. Just to keep me sane. Just a bit, please?

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:18 AM

MenTal fUrbAll