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From the ghost land of the easy life.

01 September 2006

do we have to wait 'till our worlds collide :
I saw my Dr today. Rather I saw my plastic surgeon. He wasn't happy to find out that he hadn't gotten it all. The lump in my foot is being officially referred to as the residual puffiness of a healing reaction. He was quite upset that I wasn't pleased and willing to let it go. He says I can have the thing take out in now more then 3 months or I can wait longer (because he's in no hurry). I swear he was seconds away from crying and stamping his feet when I told him I was SURE I wanted to go through all of the shots and swelling and limping again. He HATES feet. They disgust him. He was so totally convinced he would never have to touch mine again.

OOPS --> In the mean time fate decided another round of soule sushi was needed.

Well I didn't help much when I told the drama queen the scar ws worse this time. It is worse, way more holes and skin peeling off but I think it's healing better than the first cut did, not because it's shorter or anything but becuase it was tended to much better by the good DR. I feel like I should send him a bottle of whiskey, that's how horrified he looked when I said we'd have to do it again. I do totally understand that there's no conceivable way he could have reched the lump that plagues me from the incision he made. He kept telling me it's not like he didn't remove anything from where he made the cut. I know that he did, I freaking saw it -> But the triuth is he didn't listen to me when I said this is where it's bugging me, he just decided that reopening the old wound was the way to go and fix my bitching.

Err nope. This time I want the right thing excised. I told hime I don't care how he cuts it open, diagonally, horizontaly, if he cuts a cross in it to exorcise the demon foot -> whatever it takes. He's all like I never promised your foot would be ok or even better. I'm like I never said it wasn't better, because what he did fix is fluffy bunnies fine 3 weeks later but the other part is worse because it's a lump alone now. He looked at me and said I was doing fine for 6 weeks out. I'm glad that he's forgotten when he did the surgery, what with the chart in front of him and all. It's been 3 weeks exactly. He was so upset he tried to tell me I developed plantar fasciitis. Um, no, that lump's been there since my original act of stupidity. I do blame myself and I know my foot may never be 100 percent again but I'd like to at least be on speking terms with what's left of it. Plus my mom has heel spurs and this is not the same thing even remotely.

In 3 months, December, I can have myslef hobbled again. I'm not sure if I'm wanting to get this the hell over with ASAP or when I'm less likely to get killed on the ice of winter arounde here. If I hold out to March or April I'll be a year and almost a half with this shit keeping me from having fun. If I go for it in December it's just a year and a month. At least he was nice enough to tell me I could choose the date and such, he just wants to get it the hell over with -> Like me. At least we agree on that. In the mean time I have to stress about how this is going to go. Can I get time of in December? Wouldn't January be better - but how likely is it that I can get 2 weeks off and not have to leave the house at all? Do I wait til Spring or just give up and settle into life as a tiresome gimp who can't walk anywhere that take more than 20 minutes to get to without feeling the burn/pain? I'm so petitioning Dr Scholls for steel reinforced insoles.

Anyy ideas? Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 3:31 PM

MenTal fUrbAll