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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

04 September 2006

am i just paranoid or am i just :
The funny thing about long weekends when you work every one of them for a while (say years) is that the concept of holiday and joy joy goodness is lost. I get tomorrow off and I'm planning on doing laundry and pre shifting my room for the coming of the bed friday. I'm really excited about the bed, more excited every day. It's been years since I had a decent bed I liked. I can sleep anywhere but it's going to be nice to sleep somewhere I want to sleep for a change.

A friend at work has given me the bug to join this weight loss program. The catch is that it cost 3 grand and it's not covered by OHIP, even though it's Dr recommended and all. It's step one on the road to gastric bypass. I have been thinking about that because no matter how much I change my diet and exercise I haven't had much luck over the years losing enough weight to take me out of the risk factor end of the fat pool. I don't have any health issues yet. It's a yet I'm not longing to see come to visit. That and my foot are majorly bumming me out. I don't know how I'd get the 3 grand by January, let's face it I suck at saving money and I don't think I can take it out of my locked in RRSP either. At least not according to the wee amount of information I could find on it. It was an idea, but I may have to admit defeat because unlike Tony Pierce, I'm not sure that asking my 69 readers for 20 bucks to make the dream a reality would be a good idea. Not that y'all wouldn't help me - just that I'd feel guilty owing everyone 20 bucks. What if I fail? Umm it's so possible. It's also not enough to get into the program with, and I hate to say it but 1620 is a number I can't cough up in the next 3 months either. Well I'm coming around to this working out idea again. Props for that.

It's too bad I can't just win the lottery or get adopted as Oprah's next project makeover. I'm going to buy a lottery ticket and I may write Oprah, again. I don't think O likes Canadians. It's just me I know. I keep wondering, everytime I go to the lottery stand to get bus tickets, or just walk by it on the way to work --> how many people out there are playing the hatch numbers from Lost? Come on you know people are. I wonder in passing if I played then would I win a cursed fortune? I'm not exactly Hurley, but stranger things have happened.

Mental Playlist :

10) until it sleeps - metallica
9) weapon - matthew good
8) going under - evanessence
7) passive - a perfect circle
6) c'mon, c'mon - the von bondies
5) murder of crows - the counting crows
4) my friend - basement jaxx
3) out of my head - mobile
2) move along - the all american rejects
1) for you - staind

"For You"

To my mother, to my father,
It's your son or it's your daughter,
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way too fast!

The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you don't know how to listen
And let me make my decisions

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast!

All your insults and your curses make
me feel like I'm not a person
And I feel like I am nothing but
you made me so do something
'Cause I'm fucked up because you are
Need attention, attention you couldn't give

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence get us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 2:15 PM

MenTal fUrbAll