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From the ghost land of the easy life.

16 August 2006

i just had to learn that after all of this you just don't care :
I got the link in the other post to work so you don't have to copy and paste it inot another browser to see it. Click at your own risk. I've been complaining about how my 'pals' dropped me, in the mean time I'm getting pity galore. I'm a slow moving land mammal these days with a tonne of new friends and concerned parties. Some of whom are gross and want to see the scar tissue and glass it has in it, and are disappointed I didn't bring it home. There are others that are going out of their way to be nice and cool and I keep getting a ride home after work -> so it's been kind of refreshing. Even though all this walking funny is making my right knee deform into painful no allegiance to my body and I still am seriously pissed at my married friends for acting like I don't exist - I'm working past it. Trying to take it as a slight from people who don't know how to cope with adversity. Some people can't deal with it. They apparently are such people.

Today, it's been 31 days since I got the papers saying my divorce would be final 31 days from 17 July. Except for the actual paperwotk - that I get tomorrow - I'm divorced. Tomorrow I will also get a cake and drink. Maybe not hte best idea on my leg but I'll be at home so I can sleep on the couch if I can't get myself up the stairs. I know I'm overdoing the being nice to my foot hting because it's throwing my kee and even hip out of wack, but it's all because of the stitches. I didn't have any last time and so there was no weird pulling sensation whenever I stepped with too much pressureon my foot. My unconscious fear of causing that pull has me tensing my foot into a ball almost all the time and walking pretty exclusively on the outside of my foot too, the far outside edge which is killing the ankle.

Still can't catch a break with the local Kids though. Kid M can't find it in the space where a heart should be to take me to get my divorce papers tomorrow. His gas money loss not mine. It never ceases to amaze me how selfish people are with their cars, especially people who are doing nothing else all day long. But hey, it's not like I didn't see that one coming. After all he's a jerk and no one here likes him, it's got to be hard on the guy. I don't think he's totally oblivious to the fact that his list for friends and allies doesn't include the people he lives with. A far more bitter pain than any I have.

In the meantime I'm going to be walking on my foot as flatly as I can to help save my ankle. I'm going to be fighting this weird head cold percipitated - funnily enough - by the anti biotics I am taking. They're throwing my athsma into action, so I'm coughing all the time and have developed that rasp that Demi Moore and Kathleen Turner are known for. Thing is I don't smoke, so I don't want to rasp like I do. I need to have an auto return function on my cane, as everyone loves to play with it, so when I need to walk somewhere it's out of reach. I try gimping it large around the house caneless - because painkillers and bandaids aren't far away. In the meantime I put on both my ankle braces and I'll wear my crocs and hobble to work where I will ask for a special pass to go throught the non revolving doors so I don't get eaten by them or trapped in them as the fail to push me out and stop moving all togehter. I'm already special ed these days, I don't need the extra badge of shame that is getting stuck in the revolving door at work.

The other night we went out to Denny's after work. There was 6 of us, 5 were people I work with and one girlfriend of a coworker. 3 of us had steak. 2 with egs, one had the meal. Now I used to go to Denny's in Kingston after hitting the closing time of clubs on Princess Street. It was cooler than Burger King because there were always rides with hot boys involved, but the food was horrid. I hardly ever ate there. Skip to Monday night and I have to say while the food was good at the time, something about it made the meal into a more potent form of the McDonalds internal cleansing. Denny's, the best place for a food experience that keeps on giving -> I guess.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:57 PM

MenTal fUrbAll