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From the ghost land of the easy life.

20 June 2006

the last time i asked you i really got a lame excuse :
If the weather sows peoples' moods then I could be in for a shit storm. I'm hobbling around currently, deflected to pained by nature. But the heat has diminished some and the rain is rejuvenate. I'm trying to figure out my weekend. I kind of feel like running away from town, there's no reason to stay - at least none that's been given to me. But I haven't talked to everyone yet and I may be persuaded to hang about.

I read Sass's post and I know what she means but I also know that it so doesn't apply to me today. I have not gone and gotten inextricably mixed up with anyone in quite a while. I want to - but the fates keep conspiring against it, which I guess is somehow giving me what I deserve. I think it's kind of funny how people who don't know me are all over the place with these laundry lists of thing they are sure I am. I would think actually talking to me and spending time with me would be prerequisites to being able to say you know me. I say knowing my last name is the bare minimum to say you know me. To say you really know me you'd know all 3 of them. I'm such a character.

Thing is I keep getting typed by these people who think they know who I am because of where I work, what I do, the look on my face, the clothes I wear or who I talk to. I'm thinking there are some very wrong and small minded people running around out there who think they have me pegged. As soon as I got rid of slappy gorgeous guy I'm now wondering why he's keeping his distance. It's not like we can't be friends. I'm good at friends, as long as everyone makes an effort. I hate being the one doing all the work and I'd much rather drop someone who thinks I should then stand by them. I am a metal dog, but some people mistake my niceness for a licence to run roughshod over me and they think I'm too nice to turn on them. They are so wrong. I am very loyal. I will feel bad about it after but I WILL rip your head off and stuff it up your ass if you cross me. I don't care so much about being the bad guy anymore. Too many people trying to take advantage of someone they see as wide eyed and naive - has really broken that concern for me.

For a while earlier I was playing around with my blog template. Time for another change - yes yes. I'm not sure how it will go exactly. That's why I'm working on it. And I'll try to get some more poetry up on the poem blog, not that anyone's been over reading it. I need to get a stat counter to be sure but I'm fairly certain it's just me that's been there lately. I'm feeling craptastic and only 2 more days til my weekend (it so helps to not count today :) I want to just lay down and die but I haven't the luxury.

In the meantime I'm on the lookout for new friends. I always want to widen my circle of interests (and possibly influence ). I need some peeps to go out to Bluesfest, the Red Hot chili Peppers and the movies with. I don't have a lot of friends ready, willing or able to be available for all of the above. I was going to Clapton (c'mon slwohand's a legend) but DAYUM it's expensive for not ever really good seats and no one wants to go with me either. See why I need more friends. I need the back you up buddies. You drag them and they drag you and it's all good.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 1:00 PM

MenTal fUrbAll