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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

09 May 2006

when you gonna love you as much as i do you say that things change my dear :
So I told my self, self - your ass is way tired and you're going to bed early. Self said The cute guys from Proson Break are breaking out tonihgt! I HAVE to watch. So I said OK, that show and then straight to bed. I was sleeping by 11.30. I was kinda disappointed with the first part of the break out, I thought there would be more drama. I so didn't see anything I couldn't guess before it happened. I'm glad Sarah didn't become an addict again, but all the allusions to it seemed weak. Or was it just me?

Blogger's being fucked up. I can't read blogs and I can barely get this page to load. I have no idea if this will ever post. I woke up to Winter in my head. Tori Amos, Little Earthquakes and I go WAY BACK. It's my enduring 90's favourite. I listen to it way more than any other disk I got at that time. I am not so sure why that is. It's the newest disk of the lot, the last one I bought that year, but I can't keep it off my player for long. And now I have a scene in my head for nearly every song on the album.

I got 11 hours in, with little qwake ups here and there because I do live with roommates who so don't care to stop and think about anyone but themselves. I don't want to be 20 anything anymore. I'm starting to realize how screwed up I was and how badly that whacked out my world. It led to a lot of screwy things that I'm still getting over, around and through. So I can blame my parents for laying the ground work, doesn't mean I can't accept responsibility for being the one who went merrily down the path and made the nightmare a reality.

Life is short and I do things differently, to save me from myself. Unfortunately I'm really my own worst enemy. Now I just wait and see if I get to flirt with flirt guy. I talk to whoever is around and I do what I want. Life hasn't really changed much for me, it sort of reverted back to it's more recognisable parts. And I wait to find out if I'm house/cat sitting for my married friends. They are supposed to be gone all weekend, but I have no idea waht's happening there. Hopefully all of the stars line up in order and it all works out gloriously and I get some sun to freckle and tan a bit so I don't look too much like a washed out blonde.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:56 AM

MenTal fUrbAll