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From the ghost land of the easy life.

26 May 2006

so go unlock the door :
It's Friday and I've got a bad feeling about all this. My roomates are going away. That's ok. It's gonna be just me and Kid E here with the cat. And apparently I'm not trusted enough to take care of said cat because only explicit instructions were left for Kid E. Now I can't blame them. I haven't exactly been telling them when I'm not coming home. I guess they noticed I wasn't here. I guess they feel left out because they don't know where I've been going for the past few months, when I don't come home. Guess they feel like they should be in the know. Canada => passive aggressive central. It doesn't really feel like we share that kind of stuff. So I don't tell them where I'm going or when I'll be back. I don't go MIA for weeks. Maybe over night. But whatever. It seems to have made me untrustworthy.

Then there's the whole numbers logic. See in my head I have a secret. I want to tell the secret to all my friends. Problem is that invites expectations. Not so much for me, but other people. Cuz as soon as I open my mouth people will want to know details, and meetings will be arranged and the potential for awkwardness triples. On a rainy bad feeling Friday it's more than will fit into my little brain.

I'm not sure if I want to invite expectations. I find having expectations usually is the beginning of problems. Mind you it's only if those are unclear/unshared/unagreed upon expectations. But who of us doesn't want what they want when they want it? My horoscope says this is my tough challenges phase and I need to focus on the little things. Funny, when it comes to people I'm veritably trapped in minutia, combing over everything like a CSI looking to convict. And then again today, while some condo corp fucker cuts the lawn again, I so don't care. I just want to not think about anything. I know I'm freaking out over my promotion. It's a lateral move really. I'm going to chats. So I'll be typing. It has an intsa spell checker so no worries => but I feel like I'm learning it all over again. It took so long to get good at the phones part, now I'm starting fresh. But I always freak out - I don't want to fail. I'm such a whiner :)

It's a grey and supposedly gonna lightening out (insert hope a system failure and irrational fear of being struck by lightening here) day. And it's really hot in here. Really. I think the heat is making me feel ill and I'll go to work and wear my jacket all night cuz I'm freezing. How's that for fun? Boy Posts' Cranberry Bran is good. I never cared much for Raisin Bran. Go figure.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:21 AM

MenTal fUrbAll