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From the ghost land of the easy life.

16 May 2006

i want what i want :
There's this certin look of disappointment I see on people a lot. I get i mostly from people I meet whothought I was lying about myself, and from people who firmly believe I am younger than I am and then find out my age. I got the look last night when I told my manager my age, cuz we were talking. He got all hinky. He thinks I hate him now because he's 7 years younger than me. Nah. If I hated him it would be for a better reason than that, like that he's a schizophrenic conversationalist or a plain old fashioned liar. Those are better reasons. At least for me.

Now I don't think I actively perpetrate a falseness about myself. I act how I feel. Being a Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius I age backwards. Iwas older when I was younger, now I'm older I'm younger and such. I don't dress that youthfully - no belly shirts and hipsters and whatever is the rage. I don't lie about my age. I do get the heebie jeebies telling people I'm 35, cuz they tend to start looking at me differently. Sometimes it goes away and it all goes back to normal. Other times it changes the way they relate to me in such a serious way that it's never really like we're friendly anymore. My roommates are like that. They had made a decision about me based on my age and it's never changed. It's why they can't be bothered to get to know me, as far as they're concerned I'm an old lady. Since I accidentally found out how old flirt guy is I now have to contend with the fact he wants to know my age, and I don't really want to see that look on his face.

****spoiler alert*****

I'm kinda tired today. Sinus allergies are a bitch :) And there's still construction on the road so there's all manner of noise. And there's still no sun so I can make the big blue vein on my face disappear behind freckles. Woe is me, I'm sun deprived. In the meantime the most taxing thing I'm doing today is going to have my eyes checked and then, maybe, a steak and some quality me time at the Highlander. I'm planning on rolling home early to catch the finale of NCIS. I'm so Sad that Denny's dead. I wasn't that interested in Meredith and her reunion, it's kinda contrived and soap operaish; but Christina and Burke and Kallie and George and even Alex kept me watching. I feel sorry for Addison and the end of Prison Break was weak - in that I think cutting off the hand was overkill, cut off his thumb at the joint and that's all you needed. Everyone is on the run now til September/October - so we'll see how it goes eh. Will I still be watching Prison Break, will I still be able to stange Grey's Anatomy if Meredith becomes even less likable? Will Gibbs ever remember he's the MAN?

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:10 PM

MenTal fUrbAll