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From the ghost land of the easy life.

29 May 2006

i don't know how to fix it :
Sometimes you gotta throw a girl a bone. In the big I need to know arena I have a definite answer about my current job. I'm now being paid to basically IM people tech support. Yay no more being nice on the phones- I was getting tired of it really. I was having a hard time not doing the deep hard sigh of exhaustion talking to some of the folks. But you could tell, cuz I'm sure I've said.

I've been thinking about all this talk that's been going on here and on the blogs I read (cuz we're all mentally linked somehow I'm sure). I don't know how to define how well you can know someone. Or how well someone may let you know them. I think the hardest part of dating is knowing what rules someone is using to define the situation. I'm easy going but I have a weird life right now. Apparently the sun shines out my ass and I have men all over looking at me. Where were they all before? It never rains it pours y'know.

So I thought I'd take a minute to define my idea of a good relationship. My role models there are Morticia and Gomez Addams. Now some people will say that they're freaks, a cartoon, a bad tv/movie series. Whatever. In whichever medium the fact remained the characters were into each other. They didn't lie or hide it - they felt and acted on the feeling. M and G were not always together, but they made time for each other. They accepted each other for the flawed and special people they were/are and made the best of it. They lived their lives with each other in mind and always being true to themselves as well - no easy feat I know. Still it's not impossible to be open and sharing yet still have your own interests and pursuits. It's really healthy that way. Yet so many fail to do that. I know it's a lack of communication that brings the problem. We don't know how or are afraid to or just don't want to say somethings. Even the simplest things that can't be verbalised can be done and shown to others. It really comes down to the little things. It's not the great cara mia kisses or torture racks that kept M & G together, it's the fact that they gave each other the rose garden, so she could cut the roses off - and that he golfed off the roof; and that she never said don't sword fight in the house. They made time for all the crazy relatives and partied like they were kids - without forgetting the kids. Sure they're fictional but I am recovering from a cinderella complex right?

So other than thinking that a cartoon ghoul couple had it all I don't really hold with all the fantabulous stuff that hollywood churns out. It always ends before the real making a go of it gets started. My my, it's a Monday post alright. So Lins is back from England. No plane crashes but lots of layovers and juicy computer crashings. Just thought you'd want to know since I told y'all she sent me a post card. BTW all this philosophising was brought on by a discussion I overheard about summer flings and the like. I think it's like wondering about the future - that I always do - that gets me so deep in here. Because before me are endless possibilities, but they all have finite time frames. If I take one I lose others and others still beckon and wait. And I want to get it all right - I want to make it to the best place I can be but I don't know which door leads there. It's my continual conundruum. I always want to do it right the first time - and it's not pssible. Because I am not really so much in control of the world as I'd like to believe. It's hard to be the captain of your own ship and master of all you survey when the map relies on other people to draw it and the view is full of fog you can't see through.

Where's my Gomez when I need him?

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:29 AM

MenTal fUrbAll