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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

16 March 2006

someday I'll be so damn much more :
Me, my head cold and tonnes of ginseng and echinacea are fine. Thanks for asking. I haven't lost my voice so far, I'm hoping I won't. Just two more days and I have a day to hibernate and sllep it off, hopefully I won't need to do it as I'll have worn the damn thing off on my own. The real plus for me will be getting through cold and flu season realatively unscathed and with just enough if imperious snot monsterness to make me know I dodged a bullet.

I've been having some mundane fun with my Pretender Season 3 and Angel Season 2 box sets. Since it's been reruns almighty around the channels, now that February sweeps are over, it's been good to have something ro fall back on. I'm still waiting for them to get NCIS out there. I'd buy it right away. I'm just that in love with the show. I'm not so much in love with the idea that I'm so boring I can't find any friends to hang with. I know it's temporary and will change when I start geting out more and doing stuff and all. I'm still a kind of home body, but with a bus pass now. It gives me more incentive to get out and do stuff. I also just want to get out and be out. I really love the outdoors.

If only mosquitos didn't love me so.

In my mad rush to be well, I've totally done a 360 from my behaviour of the past couple of weeks. I still want a coconut covered donut. But I'm so not going to go get one. I've been eating less but better, I'm thinking I'll be having a righteous go at this losing weight thing for real. I was sitting on the bus the other day and I realized I'd dreamed about the same thing. I know when I recognise these times, that I'm going to make a life altering decision and it's not always obvious. Because it really is always the little things y'know. And so, in some little way I did something on Tuesday that will change my life forever. I'm not sure what it was but I'm sure I did it. I'm just working with what I do know now, which is I need to be good to myself.

I'm an emotional eater, y'all. I've been a bit emotional lately and less than wonderful to myself. But I had my epiphany and I'm all about the not taking it out on myself anymore. Whether I'm 100 percent sure what it is or why I'm bothered about it. I'm trying to be my own best friend so that I can find some other good friends. Cuz if you've been reading this you'd know I've gone through a few 'friends' in the last couple of months. The bitch who ripped me off and the disappearing 21st friend to name a few. I really have to go out there and find a few good people, and it ain't easy. I spent the better part of yesterday sympathising with co-worker who just had a giant blow up with her two frenemies - who were trying to rip her off.

They were taking her, after offering to do it, to the gym with them. They ran by to pick her up and take her to the gym and then drop her home and go off their own ways. For that, they want her to pay 90 dollars a week. That's almost what I was paying to carpool into Ottawa from Brockville in a week. And they aren't going everyday, and they are saying that the cost includes gas and wear and tear and insurance. She did tha math. Give the kilometers they gave her and the gas milage their car gets it works out to about 24 bucks a week. Ergo the rip off. The had a giant email flame war and I do feel sorry for her, because finding out your 'friends' think you're a clown they can fuck over is never a good thing.

Been there a lot, funny to sit beside someone who makes the same bad choices. Mirror mirror anyone? Yea the Universe has been making it's steely point and I've been paying some attention, this time. Eventually I'm going to get the poetry going on here soon. I need a wee bit of time to get some things downa nd just catch up with myself. I've been so busy getting out there I've not been good to myself in the ways I should. Like actually getting rest and relaxation. I've been going and doing and wearing myself out. Ah the drawbacks of being frenetic.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:04 AM

MenTal fUrbAll