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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

19 March 2006

i get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by :
Everything these days seems so opaque. I walked out of work the other day and we had such fog that you couldn't dee clearly more than 10 feet in front of yourself. I thought this is pretty much like the world is without my glasses on. All hazy and softly out of focus. I don't think it's really come back into focus yet. Even when the sun is shining and all the things I want to do are getting checked off the list - I still feel like there's this fog. There's something I'm just not seeing, and it's there infront of me. Just slightly out of focus.

I'm kind of bored at work. Never a good sign. I get bad when I get bored. I'm also thinking maybe I want to edge for a really set schedule. I'd have no problem doing Welcome calls - where I work 4pm to midnight and only Monday to Friday. I can do outbound. I can do anything that sets my life in stone. I'm really considering asking for it. I'm really considering it because I desperately need some structure. I can reworlk my life on the wacked out flight plan I've been using, I just use it as an excuse to coast. I toast when I coast.

I just got 2 free weeks at Changes for Women. I went to the International WOmen's show and signed up for EVERYTHING. I Also got offered 50 bucks pff some crap microdermabrasion and chemical peels - I think next time I'll read what I sign up for and not just slap my name down. PLAN ahead.

It's Menat PLaylist time and I'm thinking I can definitely pull one out of myself at this time. I spent yesterday hanging with my married friends and eating lots of junk food. I continued the trend this morning and I'll probably roll with it later this afternoon or tonight when I get home. I'm feeling not cookish and I already have the chips and the donuts. So I'll be good come Monday. It's true, I always am after a junk food weekend :) It's nice to have people to hang with, we are planning to do it again next weekend, so we'll see what happens. I'm pretty much living and brething only for my four day weekend. It's going to be interesting to entertain myself for 3 of those day. I'll have laundry and all, but nothing much else planned.

TOP TEN

10) in my head - anna nalick
9) total eclipse of the heart - bonnie tyler
8) pump it - balck eyed peas
7) keep me hanging on - kim wilde
6) the grace - neverending white lights featuring dallas green
5) stupid girls - pink
4) poster of a girl - metric
3) 7/4 shoreline - broken social scene
2) for you i will (confidence) - teddy geiger
1) bigger than my body - john mayer

"Bigger Than My Body"

This is a call to the color-blind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind a horizon line
Tied up in something true

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for

Why is it not my time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Cause I'm bigger than my body now

Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll gladly go down in a flame
If the flame's what it takes to remember my name

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body now

keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 12:37 PM

MenTal fUrbAll