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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

10 February 2006

watch everything go by :
My other day off today. It was fun I went shopping. I still have that glass as souvenir I guess, because they are insisting it's a bruise not glass - a bruise that never heals. Go figure. This is what I thought happened when you got you tongue pierced = it never healed right and would possibly flare up and be a pain for no good reason. Instead I'm learning it's not what happens to your tongue at all (and I'm kinda contemplating a tongue ring now for some reason - can you tell?) it's what happens when you're a dumb ass and step on glass you should have cleaned up hours before.

So that date yesterday. The movie date. It started at 1.30 pm and went on to just past 2.30 am. I don't date much so I guess that inspires the marathons :) The last time I had a marathon date it was with the Donkey Kong Looking Guy (DKLG)- the youngster I worked with at Walmart in Brockville. We ate, watched several movies, played pool and said goodnight. Nothing even remotely interesting happened between DKLG and I that night. Not a touch or even a kiss, we barely spoke to each other at all. It was disappointing because he had alluded to something else but I didn't think it inspired what came next - the 2 am booty call where he pronounced that he LOVED me. Yea cuz nothing spells love like demanding to come over and be serviced at 2 am. We all know that didn't work out. I couldn't take him seriously and the more that happened the more Donkey Kong like he became, and I don't do human monkey romance - sorry.

Last nights date started late. I was a bit miffed because I was hungry. But we got to the wings and even got to talk to Liam Neeson at the Highlander (the waiter people). And there was conversation. Of course I was way too honest about my Ex later on and I think that may have made him wonder what the hell - yea I still go on about it but it's only because I have an easier time outlining my failures than accomplishments. I'm so fucked up that way. I don't think it blew the wheels off the evening but I figure it needs to be said because until the paperwork is done he has the ability to fuck with my life and he does seem to enjoy doing that to people. Anyways that overshare, no tact/no shame thing went to town for a while as we drove from lunch to the movies. But we talked. We joked, we related and listening was done by all.

We saw the Matador, which I think is fucking hilarious. Not really a first date movie tho - nowhere that I've been had I been given a heads up about the sex scenes. Yea those can be kinda awkward to sit through beside a guy you barely know. The tension level didn't seem to spike over it, infact IMHO it was totally non existent all day - so I'm not sweating it - just giving any of you who were thinking it's a good 1st date movie the heads up. I guess It wasn't the first date really because we did already meet Monday, but Monday was finite and an ice breaker so I don't think it counts because ice breakers always have their own brand of built in anxiety and anguish.

After the movie we came back here and he met the crew. Kid E was the most enthusiastic about the intro. It was all good - no one was totally rude. I think it was a good sign, at least everyone knows the guy on sight now :) Then we used that free pool coupon my last cab driver gave me. I know the cabbie was trying to pick me up with it, but I don't care free pool is free pool and it's not like I have the pool table here like I did in B-ville. That would be way too much reason to NEVER move outta here.

So then we go for our last meal - of the day. We went to Nickels because it's 24 hours and by now it's after 12.30. I can say he's a nice guy and we can talk for hours about a variety of things. As far as anything else I officially have no opinion. I'm more than willing to spend more time with him and I may come out of my shell more, for some reason I've been turned down to 4 or 5 around this guy. Aside from the given that I always say too much when I talk, I've been mostly listening instead of monopolizing the conversations and interrogating him with rapid-fire questions. Yea I'm feeling changed. I've been noticing this reticence, not to share or even be there; more like this quietness. There's just no pressing need for me to demonstrate myself, I'm just there being. And I have no idea what this looks like or how it comes across. I'm a bit worried because I know in the wrong light that would seem cold and uncaring.

I am the original velcro soul. I get attached. I collect people, one at a time. I just get to know a bit about them and they get their own spot on the shelf of my life. Right now I've got about 5 new people already integrated into the system and there will be more, because I'm like that. So I know I like this guy in that he's interesting and funny and we get along so far and can spend hours together without anyone obviously being bored or wanting to get the hell away from the other. It's nice to have that. Someone to hang out with has been a priority for a while. Now it's all waiting and seeing what will evolve and how this new character will come to play out in the Kafka-esque story of my life. Yea he doesn't really have a name yet. I've decided that giving everyone a name before they are more than a blip on the radar screen, is too much work and too empowering. I already don't have the time and talent to pretty up my blog I have no idea how I'm going to do justice to the existing cast of named characters. I'm already thinking I may just forgo that and just make a running list of the newest ones and their importance.

So I'm going off to play XIII, and get killed repeatedly trying to get past this point where I'm tarzaning through the air and just sucking at it. I've died 3 times, that's my limit before I quit and move to something other than that. Today I got the Need For Speed mega pack at Futureshop - yea I know I said digital camera - but I got that and Volume One of Futurerama and The Osterman weekend on DVD. I'm feeling good about the purchase portion of my existence. I have always loved The Osterman Weekend. I can remember seeing it as a kid. I know that that movie made me love thrillers and spy movies. I know it made me believe John Hurt was too creepy and untrustworthy and it cemented my love of the unconventional leading man.

We all know I LOVE Rutger Hauer. It started with the movie Nighthawks. I couldn't have cared less about Stallone and Billy Dee; I wanted the bad guy to win. I was a kid all of 10 and I didn't really know what the movie was about but I knew what I liked. I only saw Blade Runner for Rutger; I was rooting for Roy Batty. Sure I like Harrison Ford, I'd seen Star Wars and Han Solo was my main man there with Chewie and the Falcon (Luke just not that cool with the droids at the time) but I didn't care about Harrison and his robot love. I wanted Roy Batty to live. I'm still sad when he dies, that's the end of the movie for me even now. I've seen a lot of Rutgers work, not all of it because the guy works a lot and it's not always available locally or in English - but I see what I can. He's got a bunch of stuff coming out this year, should keep me entertained.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 4:34 PM

MenTal fUrbAll