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From the ghost land of the easy life.

23 January 2006

if you want me you can find me left of center off of the strip :
I have no problems with recurring dreams. They usually have some deep meaning that I don't get the first time around, catch onto the second time and totally obliterate by taking them over and changing them to my whim after that. Lately I've been having this dream about a rather large Spiderman tattoo. Apparently I go to get this huge thing on my upper right arm, shoulder to elbow. It doesn't seem to matter that I already have a tattoo there, in the dream it doesn't exist at all and the artist is all excited to give me this giant tattoo of Spidey sitting on the side of a brick building. With the angle the windows on the building are smaller than normal, but they all have information in them. Stuff like my birthday and astrological signs and possibly my tax details, I don't recall.

So I get this tattoo and I love it and then, for no real reason, I have it removed. It's removed fast, easily and painlessly. This is where the dream ends the first time. The second dream picks up with the removal of the tattoo and continues on. It's gone, but I can still see it. I want to get it again, just smaller than before. Since my arm is in like zero pain and doesn't need to heal at all, I'm all gung ho. Then some friend of mine, who I've never seen before, asks me why don't I wait to make sure I really want it. I already had it once, why do it again and get it removed again. It's not really a good idea, the person says, to keep doing the same thing again and again with the same results. And while this friend it talking I'm looking at my arm. I can still see the tattoo, it's faint, but it's part of me and I'm wondering why do I want to get it redone, I can see it and I like what I see and if I get it done again it won't be the same and I might like it even less. What if I can still see parts of the first one and that makes me dislike the revised version. Then I'm wondering why there are no scars from the removal, and why it didn't hurt to get rid of something I wanted so much and really loved.

Then I woke up all conflicted and wondering why I'm dreaming about a tattoo that in reality I would never get. Yes I have tats. I have nothing remotely as large at that one was. In the dream I have a veritable Schwarzenegger arm, which is so NOT true. I have wee little arms compared to the muscly governator. What's bothering me is twofold. Why does it matter to me what my 'friend' says? It's common sense but nothing I haven't already considered myself. I'm nothing if not analytical, even in my dreams I've thought long and hard about it, and I already know what I want to do - though to everyone else it seems spur of the moment. The other troubling thing is why am I having such a dream? It's not literal, so if it's coded, what does the Spiderman on the bright orange brick wall, with my personal original information in the tilted windows, mean? What is my mind trying to tell me? Why must I keep dreaming this weird and film noir-ishly lit dream that seems to take place in both an underground area with torches and an office building during a blackout? Why am I the only girl in my dream? If I'm going to be given fashion advice, I'd prefer it from someone I know and someone who has a real idea about fashion - also known as someone not dressed like any hockey fan or skater boy around.

It’s really bugging me that I’m having such a weird recurring dream. I’m not being hunted, which is what most of my recurring dreams were about when I was younger. I was always being hunted by someone trying to kill me. In schools, houses, shopping malls. I was the master of the next door, secret exit/room/hiding place. I never got caught and I never took control and stopped the hunter either. Then I had a shopping mall dream where I was being stalked in the mall that was several malls I’d been too all in one. I took control of that and it became me living in the mall in secret places and such, with a bunch of people I knew in college. I haven’t had one of those dreams since. It can be tiresome being pursued like that night after night – but that usually went on for only 2-3 nights a week then was gone for months or years.

The weirdest dream I ever had was the one where I was married to Kevin Bacon and for whatever reason, his sister lived with us. His sister, who I never laid eyes on, hated me and was some kind of monster that tried to kill me on a regular basis. I knew she was watching me all the time and waiting for her chance so I never left the house and regularly had Kevin talk to her about not stalking me, because he needed a wife that could go out and get groceries and such. I hardly ever saw Kevin, I spent most of the dreams trying on clothes and looking through my parents’ basement that was magically attached to the trailer Kevin and I lived in. I didn’t do anything else, and I was always watched. I had this dream for years. Then it just stopped.

So any ideas why I’m dreaming about giant Spiderman tattoos and having them removed and replaced over and again? Wanna take a stab at decoding what seems to be a dream I’ll be having again, possibly tonight – because I’m lost. I have no insights into this what so ever. I don’t know the people in the dream or any of the places. There is no danger, no emotions or any good lighting. It’s really got me wondering if I’ve run out of things to dream and am having someone else’s now. Do you think that can happen?

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 10:20 AM

MenTal fUrbAll