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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

01 December 2005

here comes my life of crime :
She said "There's one thing you've got to learn is not to be afraid of it."

I never learned that. I maybe never really will. I have learned some other interesting stuff over my years tho. I know that some people never really learn anything and my goal has been to NEVER be one of those people. I'm dumb as a stump occassionally but so far I do manage to learn from my mistakes. I have lost som allusions over the years. They're marked by my greys, and I do have greys all you blind people can't see them for what ever reason - but they're there just like the everything else.

I'm happy enough. I'm obsessed with getting my room finished off. It's not letting myself get overly zealous about it because then I'll be stupid and over spend and it'll be bad. I'mm all about trying to be good. I got 2 new cd's to make myself feel shiny happy and it was fun to shop with the knowledge that whatever I got I still had money in the bank and lots of time to find what I want. I've got a split weekend again. I don't get 2 days off in a row for 2 weeks. I do however have the night of the Christmas party off and I'm so looking forward to going. I'm gonna splash out a bit and get a nice top and it'll be fun.

Since it's all I'm doing for the holidays it better be fun. I hope I can at least get someone to take a pic if not pick me up. Yea Ottawa has turned on all my self doubts because here there really is no good reason not to date. I mean other than the fact that I don't know if dating someone from work is a good idea and that I don't have a social circle to go out with to meet anyone else. Oh I'm slightly obsessed with getting back in the swing of things, it's been 1.5 years I've been avoiding dating entirely. I'll forget how soon because I never did it much to begin with and dislike it even with the best of people.

So I have a few plans and a few ideas and all I wanna do is have some fun. Now if all that wasn't giving me weird ass dreams and keeping me awake at night long enough to be tired during the day. In a way I'd love to be able to take a mental health day but I was just 'sick' 2 days and I'm already going to need a note to take another break. 1 break coming up Sunday and I'm planning to (maybe) just stay in bed all day because it used to be my Sunday thing but I haven't been able to do it in Months. I'm dreaming of a catered lie in tho. Not like that's gonna happen.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:32 PM

MenTal fUrbAll