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one for the money, two for the show : So I'm back. Miss me? I got a weird ass comment in my email from Kevin Senter (I think) saying happy thanksgiving and then it's nowhere to be found on the blog. If he erased it is that why I don't see it?
Anyways. I'm all moved in but far from unpacked. I've had the time to install the wireless card in my computer and get online, because I'm all about what really counts obviously. I took 2 days off this week to do the moving, and since Thursday have been packing, hauling and loading various boxes and furniture. I became a mover and didn't know it. I'm not done yet either because tomorrow I go back to Brockville to hand in the keys and such and I get to help load up the OTHER half of carpool guy's apartment.
See there are 2 ways to load a van. The Right way and the Dumbass way. They chose option B, so they have boxes and boxes and bags and bags and their furniture now lives alone in a 2 bedroom out of town. Some people have limited experience in moving or thinking about space ahead of time. Now I can't draw a map to save a life, at least one that has real and easily quantifiable dimensions, but I can pack and plan space in my head like nobody's business. I'm glad I got here in one piece and nothing got seriously broken. Since it was ice rain and I didn't actually get to come home til 1 am last night I was happy to not have dropped my tv even though I did rip the leaves off one of my bamboo shoots and my jade tree (which is so heavy it needs steel reinforcements to stand upright now) lost several leaves; I AM the ONLY thing I care about that hit the ground while moving.
See I brought the last 6 boxes, bags, and whatever’s up with carpool guy last night. Then I got to watch the U-Haul for 2 hours while he and his g-f unpacked half of it so we could go get their new couch from half way across town. So we go out there and it's a disgusting ugly 60's lipstick shade of pink couch (and I'm so not a PINK lover (ok the singer is good the colour does nothing for me)) which he has to have because it's cheap. Now this thing is old. It's got those straight, been moved too much the WRONG way rip in the back along the frame that leather gets and it's HUGE. A 6 foot couch that I have to help him get out of a doorway barely big enough to get it in through, on a 100 degree angle. It wouldn't have been so bad but the unhelpful seller was all like be careful, don't ruin it, don't drag it. I was thinking shut up yoga pants girl because you aren't helping.
I'm all for being careful but I know 2 things. It was not a great couch to begin with the colour not withstanding, and the carpool guy got ripped off. I also know that this shrewish harpy has a complete Burlington's Coat Factory behind the door and has turned the exit we need to use to get the couch out, into a lovely place lined with a jumbo curio shelf and a freaking poncy upright miniature piano. Carpool guy is a frigging weakling. And I'm on the outside and he's inside. I'm trying to get him to move the couch up so we can get it over the logjam of furniture and onto the stairs. The whack job seller is whining and the more she whines the freakier carpool guy gets. I'm on the end going backwards down the stairs at 120 mph when we finally get the stupid thing unjammed. Of course he just wants to keep going like that and it woulda been ok but it's winter now.
So there's this weird thing wherefore no reason the ground rises about a foot and a half and it's solid and it's covered in snow, and I'm being propelled backwards by a speeding giant ugly ass pink couch. I hit this whatever the fuck it is and bam, BAM. I'm down. So carpool guy's g-f comes over and checks that I actually fell over something. "You're right. It is solid. I wonder what it is?" He's flipping out about the couch getting dirty and wet and what the hell am I doing etc, etc, etc. "I'm lying here in the snow, what does it look like? And the couch is on me NOT the ground so I can't get up." Eventually the forces of good conspire to throw carpool guy in reverse a bit and to allow me to get up so we grab the couch again. and his g-f says to me, like I have any control "It's not like I can get a good grip on this when you're moving so fast." Like I'm all along for the ride mini girl. Talk to the sockless wonder there and see why he's going 3000 mph with this couch like it's not going to just be a pain in the ass to get into the U-Haul.
It was. I was too big to go lengthwise. Of course he wouldn't listen to either of us when we tried to tell him it had to be angled into the truck. The couch nearly snapped him in two because he was all under it trying to move it the wrong way. It was sadly funny. SO we get it back to the apartment. And after the elevator from hell tries to crush me 3 times (seriously if it could talk it's be saying FUCK you I'm so closing, I don't care how many bones I break I'm CLOSING NOW) we get the ugly thing onto the elevator. Then into the hall and promptly wedge it into his door. Now it's after 11 pm, but I don't care because I'm not waiting til the couch gives in or someone chews through it to get out, to leave that night. It's wedged because the door is small and the hall is too short. The only way to get it in is to have the neighbour right across the hall open their door and let us pull the couch in and then through to his place. HE WON"T KNOCK.
SO I do. The girl is nice, understanding. It doesn't look like we woke her up or even scared her. Carpool guy is mortified. He's ready to die. Doesn't even speak to her at all just starts shoving the couch at me then dragging me into the apartment with it. Yea fun times. So tomorrow he has to go get the other half of his apartment in Brockville and I know he's gonna want me to help. I don't wanna. I didn't mind the hauling bags and bags of clothes because I'm a fashion victim/clothes horse too. I can even understand the boxes of books and videos and Dvd. But the 12 boxed of magazines. Nuh UH. I don't get the freakish attachment to the encyclopedias, which are not current either. The 2 of them are weird hoarders. AND then there's the assemble a bed that the brought out of the truck. It looks like it's been through about 100 floods; maybe Noah used it on the ark. It's a jigsaw puzzle and I don't get it but it seems to be old and therefore cool so maybe I'm just not that shabby sheik.
Oh and you thought this would be boring huh? Thought I'd have nothing interesting to say? Me too. I'm tired tho and I'm on the go again tomorrow so I'm off like a herd of turtles. I'll write soon.
Keep blogging. ghost writer Ambrrrr at 11:24 PM
Tristan Roy blue eyes,
blue eyes, crooked teeth, intellectual, goofball, slacker, socialist.