<meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d13240712\x26blogName\x3dMenTal+fUrbAll\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://amber7211.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://amber7211.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-5033966699759859357', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> Today's Honoured Guest

my peeps The Boys

RaJ
Tayster
factory_peasant
Surfer Mitch

Scared Bunny
Jake
Hof

my peeps The Girls

Sass
Steff
Crystal

Lyvvie
Cate
OEN
--spared--

Rachel
bitchy

Pajiba
Dlisted
Janet Charlton
MPH
Go Fug Yourself

the pretty pictures

Tristan Roy
Owen Billcliffe
No Traces
Sam Javanrouh

the professionals blog

Radiohead
Matthew Good
Margaret Cho
Rick Mercer
Tony Pierce
Whil Wheaton
Waiter

shameless self promotion

My Photo
Name:
Location: Ontario, Canada

blue eyes, crooked teeth, intellectual, goofball, slacker, socialist.


Stuff and Nonsense

MY POETRY
ShittyBlogSurvivor






Blogarama - The Blog Directory


My influence
[1338.4]

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License.

Powered by Blogger

I humbly appologise for any and all spelling mistakes I make while leaving comments on your blog :) You LOVE Me THIS much

What Came Before

2005.05 2005.06 2005.07 2005.08 2005.09 2005.10 2005.11 2005.12 2006.01 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.07 2008.09 2008.10 2009.01 2010.01 2010.03 2010.05


From the ghost land of the easy life.

04 November 2005

it's alright, I know it's right :
Ok. I'm back. Made it through another long drive back here after a long day of being everyone's favourite (you're a girl?) tech specialist. Oh don't get me wrong, I feel the love and all. Now if only that made the fear that's churning in my belly go away. Mostly I'm afraid that bad things are looming on the horizon. I guess I'm worried that things are going too well and that there is no way it can keep up that way. It's just because previously things never went that well for long before. It's a theme around many blogs this day, but I'm worried that I'm holding onto things form the past and they may be the defeat of my upward goodness. I'm my own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. My own worst frenemie?

I'm procrastinating. Sure I am. There's nothing else for me to do really. Until I know what's what and all, I have no real way to decide what to do with what and all that. Yea it's the riddle of the what. Hee hee. I won't really have time to post anything in depth or delightful or even interesting til Monday. I don't have enough hours in the day or a laptop with it's own built in wifi server so I can be online all the way from here to work and back. If I could do that you'd knw I'd be rich, everyone would be paying me for the way to be online everywhere and anywhere they are. Aah the dream.

I'm contemplating getting one of those donate money to me accounts, thought I feel bad because I'm not that bad off. If I could get someone to give me 50 grand I could thumb my nose at them student loans collectors and then I'd be laughing and scratching all the way to my only went bankrupt oce death. As it is I'm worried now that I'll be scrimping and saving my way to the bankrupt twice and just a loser death. I have a lot of grandly overblown fears. It's never that bad, but I think all my melodrama gets filtered into money worries and that's why I'm so cool about relationships. I have no need to get all Scarlet O'Hara (did I spell that right?) over the guy and what's going on. I do that all over my wallet and how thin and unused it is so I have nothing left over for the man - unless he's adding to said thinness and unused ness. Then the melodrama abounds, I'm sure.

I could win an oscar for money melodrama. I think it's a being poor by product. I feel that it's awfult to live with so little. I've got the material sickness to some degree but I've also got the want something better fever and a slight touch of the meaning of life shakes mixed in. At the end of the dead I don't want my headstone to read Amber 1971-whenever, whatever. I'm gonna be someone, eventually. It's taking a while but all I can say is, I'm working on it a weeee bit at a time.

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 7:01 PM

MenTal fUrbAll