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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

29 September 2005

i'll never build you up only to tear you down :
"Breath" - Swollen Members(feat. Nelly Furtado)
[Nelly Furtado]
I'm alive
I can feel the blood
Rushin thru my veins
And that's all I need to know
Cuz I'm not lookin for a change
Cuz I got friends and enemies
But it just dont bother me
Cuz as long as I believe
I can breath!
[end of chorus]

So I have this weird DVD player that starts playing the DVD right away. That's good if you're not much on watching the commercials and trailers on the disks. It's bad if you're like me and buy box sets and want to watch the episodes in order because it always starts with the last episode on the disk. I find it very annoying. If I had the entertainment centre of my dreams I could have these problems erased but my life is a makeshift house of cards these days.

I have been busy, I have applied to 10 jobs in the last 2 days and I think that I may actually hear back from one of the places. It turns out that here in booneyville, employers hold any job you currently have against you. So I may have to redo my resume to read as if I'm unemployed to even get a shot at being called. There's stupidity everywhere and this is just more proof of it. To combat it I've been playing with the page and I just love me some marquees.

RaJ - I can help you out with the code for the bars and the marquee if you like. It's ok, I like to share :)

My building has gone and changed the locks to the side doors as well but I don't have a key and I'm not happy with that. It doesn't make sense to me that I can't get in to my own building because they are stupid. I also don't trust totally electronic anything. If they fail we are all locked out and that doesn't hold with me. I'm seriously thinking of moving this place is starting to seem more like a jail then a housing unit. A jail with insane people with no sense of reason running it.

I also want to say that I dislike calling and leaving messages for business people who never return them. It's bad business to be unavailable 24/7, whether you are a hit man or just a lowly government grunt. Speaking of which I applied to be a garbage woman, for 3 more dollars an hour I can get up way early and heft trash. It'd be a change and currently I'm not so much caring what my resume looks like to employers. I mustn't be very good because no one calls and the employment places so don't help with making it any better. I hate looking for work!!!!!!!!

The other day I was walking to work. I do that now with my CD player and the weirdest soundtracks ever burned. I had the distinct feeling that I was getting shorter and less with every step. I walk to work about 4.45 each day and the only colour that jumps out at me is the green on the grass lining the sidewalks all the way to the main intersection - about half way. All the houses on the other half of the way, the ones that stand out anyways, are all white with black shutters. Some days I feel like I'm floating to work with my soundtrack. I don't even feel my feet hitting the ground. Other days I feel 10 feet tall and then sometimes I feel like I'm shrinking. I don't know if it's beating myself into the ground or just feeling weighed down by my really big head.

The day is gray today and cold, I'm going to go get ready to go to work. Keep Blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 2:02 PM

MenTal fUrbAll