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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

06 September 2005

i dreamed this dream with you but now that dream is gone :
Yea, so the evil continues. I'm still selling stuff to American people, and I've totally got the feeling that I'm selling my soul. I've gotten so desperate to be away from this kind of sales that I'm honestly and truly entertaining the idea of packing all my shit up and moving the whole she-bang to Montreal. My friend is moving into her boyfriends' house (with pool and cars and a spare room I'm told) and I'm totally invited. Remember chile? Well she's working hard to convince me to come on down when she goes because I won't be the only Non-French speaking person there, I'll be able to learn, I can meet men, I'll have somewhere to stay and (the clincher) she'll be there and with her comes a place to stay etc.

Now the last time I moved off to a city I didn't know with a friend I lost all respect for that friend and I ended up with my loser ex. It doesn't strip any glamour off the idea of moving to Montreal tho. It kind of makes me think I should just bloody well go and take my chances there because last time, human casualties aside, I loved living in the city. I've never been to Montreal but it is a historic place, like Ottawa, and right now I hear the siren song of it like I was going to move there to be with my boyfriend instead of chile.

I don't think It's just the laundry or boredom talking. I do know it's the wanderlust - I must be the only Capricorn who suffers from it that I know of. Of course the leaving people and a job behind depresses me and worries me, but the freak out of it just isn't there. It doesn't seem so impossible to go there and start over because I have the offer of a place to stay. Sometimes that's all it takes to get me packing boxes and making plans. I am such a simple soul.

Montreal is a city, a vibrant and culturally diverse city and I can taste the possibilities. I can also see what a hardship it would be if the move turns out to be a mistake. I don't know what to do. I have to give notice here, 2 months, and I have to store my stuff and I have to find a job. It's always such an undertaking. I'll be thinking about it tonight so maybe it will save me from dreams of being on distant planets with vast marshy grasslands and being trapped in Harry Potter-esque castles where errant skidoos are flung from crates through windows nearly crushing me. I'm a little wary of that being a repeat dream, wasn't real fun the first time :)

Keep blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:41 PM

MenTal fUrbAll