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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

11 August 2005

i made my bed i'll die in it my friend :
Stolen gleefully from Opaco:

I am going to die at 85. When are you? Click here to find out!

I finally got to this, I can beat my deadlines see???

My response to the paradoxes:

a. People are more willing to accommodate your longings if you’re not greedy or grasping. People always lend a helping hand when you don’t expect it. The more simply you can say things the more agreement you find in others and the less you want stuff the more stuff you get. My Motto : Give people change – always.

b. A good way to achieve your desires is to cultivate the feeling that you’ve already achieved them. This is all Wil Wheaton here. I find this is true about conscious visualization. I make the distinction because I’m a vivid dreamer and if I didn’t then I risk being arrested for hunting and killing Kevin Bacon, cuz I was doing it in a dream this last week. I actually like Kevin enough to wish him no harm. I think it was brought about by watching this lame Footloose dance/gymnastics rip off video by The Marble Index. Poor Kevin never had a chance and it’s not even his fault. My Motto : Daydream great things for the future.

c. Whatever you’re longing for has been changed by your pursuit of it. It’s not the same as it was when you felt the first pangs of desire. In order to make it yours, then, you will have to modify your ideas about it. When you want something you rarely ever see the whole of the thing. It’s much harder to be totally aware of the whole then it is to focus on the shiny attractive bits. Everyone has this, which is why relationships in general can become war zones. The trick is to be aware of the fact that there are unknowns in everything and how you deal with the question marks is what makes you who you are. My Motto : Expect nothing, there’s no disappointment there. It’s good to want things. Getting them isn’t always as good.

d. Be careful what you wish for because if your wish does materialize it will require you to change in ways you didn’t foresee. I find this is true of most things. That saying be careful what you wish for, you just might get it is a kicker. Fate has a piss poor sense of humour, like the literal and un-funny genie on the X-Files - your wish was also probably your doom. I thought all I ever wanted was someone to just love me. My ex taught me that this is not enough. They also need to respect you, care about you and care, really care. It’s funny but I know people can love people and pets even, yet treat them abominably through selfishness, neglect, abuse, ignorance. Love have a lot of little bullets under it now and I’m still looking for it, now I use binoculars(maybe a night vision scope) and a flak jacket tho ; ) My Motto : Time, the great equalizer.

I'm still working on identifying my deepest wish. What can I say? I'm inscrutible sometimes.

ghost writer Ambrrrr at 6:49 PM

MenTal fUrbAll