<!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d13240712\x26blogName\x3dMenTal+fUrbAll\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://amber7211.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://amber7211.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d7038441246555938682', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> Today's Honoured Guest

my peeps The Boys

RaJ
Tayster
factory_peasant
Surfer Mitch

Scared Bunny
Jake
Hof

my peeps The Girls

Sass
Steff
Crystal

Lyvvie
Cate
OEN
--spared--

Rachel
bitchy

Pajiba
Dlisted
Janet Charlton
MPH
Go Fug Yourself

the pretty pictures

Tristan Roy
Owen Billcliffe
No Traces
Sam Javanrouh

the professionals blog

Radiohead
Matthew Good
Margaret Cho
Rick Mercer
Tony Pierce
Whil Wheaton
Waiter

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Location: Ontario, Canada

blue eyes, crooked teeth, intellectual, goofball, slacker, socialist.


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What Came Before

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From the ghost land of the easy life.

11 August 2005

beautiful and i want you to know you're my favourite girl :
I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do


There are so many pretty girls. We don't look into the camera. We all have somrthing to hide. We are heart breakers and we have fierce pride. We don't kow how to stop shining. Hiding in plain sight.

I know a batch of beautiful girls. Like me, their beauty may be hard to see and not socially defined as acceptable. They are numerous. These girls have scars from botched suicides, have severe depression, drinking problems and self esteem issues. Still they have a beauty that makes me want to cry. Not because they are my friends or because I noticed them and have gleaned their secrets as they turn away from the everyday bullshit. They are beautiful because they exist. Like me.

We all have something to hide. The thoughs in our head, the one in our bed, the lies we believe because we have always been told them. There are things I'll never be free of. But I am not an angry girl. I am sometimes fathomlessly sad. Like my fellow beauties I suffer and I prevail.

The next time you see that slightly flickering smile that says 'I'm unsure of all this'. Smile in return with some 'right there with you' and the world will be a better place. Everyone needs to be backed up by a new found friend. Everyone needs to look directly into the camera and breathe deeply in of the fact - we are all beautiful out there, in here and everywhere.

I am not a pretty girl
I don't want to be a pretty girl
no I want to be more than a pretty girl


I am beautiful.

So are you.

Keep Blogging.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 9:45 PM

MenTal fUrbAll