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From the ghost land of the easy life.

19 July 2005

i got a dream when the darkness is over we'll be lying in the rings of the sun :
I'm a hopeless romantic. I am currently jealous of everyone in the entire world who has someone to love. Yea you. Don't make me hate you, I'm on the edge and I hava pitchfork!

But seriously. I think I may be suffering the effects of the Cinderella syndrome. I believe I have a knight in shining chrome (c'mon cars have horses) some where. I get despondent at the thought he got run over by a bus, destroyed by a sattellite or that some other horrid fate befell him. Let's face it, I'm supposed to be the only Horrid thing that happens to him - and by hopeless romantic law he HAS to love me anyways.

I'm not any more horrid than the next girl - a lot less so than some. I don't believe in physical violence, cheating, lying or open realtionships. I am a bit of the mind that a relationship means many things, including doing what I want to do. Yep, that's right, I'm the unreasonable sort that feels that my man needs to hang out with me and do stuff I like every now and then. Just like I'm totally doing for him.

I am the dreaded feminist. I hate it when there are people anywhere going on about how women have to settle for what they can get and that no relationship will ever be 50-50. I get fangs and red eyes when I am told women's work will never not be women's work - you can only ever hope that the guy in your life will help out. So guys, is this true? Do you really forget how to cook, clean, put away dirty/clean laundry - as soon as you've got a lady? Is it a deep caveman thing or some unexplored inner child rebellion to the presence of a woman?

I'll admit to my Cinderella syndrome and my cast iron inner bitch. What flaws will Prince Charming admit to?

So far I haven't met* a guy that admits to any. Even if he's a short guy telling me he thinks I'm the quiet/weird/loner chick who he wants to take home so I can tie him up and hurt him. Seriously. I have had a guy believe this was THE opening/pick-up line I would swoon for. It's really insulting/disgusting/infuriating. I was cruel, viscious and I slammed the door in his face (he walked me home from a freind's party and seemd obnoxious but harmless enough). I totally ridiculed him for even saying this to me. He got my number from the 'friend' and called persistently for months. I'd just tell him I wasn't home.

Despite the 5 tats, aforementioned flaws, assertiveness and D.I.Y. attitude I am not a whip me beat me girl. I know that joke - sticks and stones will break my bones but whips and chains excite me. I, in no way at all, am INTO that. I'm not talking light bondage here either this guy wanted to be HURT. He told me. I have no doubts he has a dungeon. No I didn't keep in touch, but I can't believe it was a phase he was going through. I so get turned off just thinking about this.

Romance. I believe in love and long for some romance. I was Snow White but I drifted :) That doesn't make me a bad person, does it? So dear readers. Give me some ideas on how to track down Prince C.? I'm pretty sure he wasn't lo-jacked so doing this the old fashioned way will have to do. Here's a self portrait if it helps with the sugestions :

* in person, face to face, live in technicolour
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 8:38 PM

MenTal fUrbAll