<!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d13240712\x26blogName\x3dMenTal+fUrbAll\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://amber7211.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://amber7211.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d7038441246555938682', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> Today's Honoured Guest

my peeps The Boys

RaJ
Tayster
factory_peasant
Surfer Mitch

Scared Bunny
Jake
Hof

my peeps The Girls

Sass
Steff
Crystal

Lyvvie
Cate
OEN
--spared--

Rachel
bitchy

Pajiba
Dlisted
Janet Charlton
MPH
Go Fug Yourself

the pretty pictures

Tristan Roy
Owen Billcliffe
No Traces
Sam Javanrouh

the professionals blog

Radiohead
Matthew Good
Margaret Cho
Rick Mercer
Tony Pierce
Whil Wheaton
Waiter

shameless self promotion

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Location: Ontario, Canada

blue eyes, crooked teeth, intellectual, goofball, slacker, socialist.


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What Came Before

2005.05 2005.06 2005.07 2005.08 2005.09 2005.10 2005.11 2005.12 2006.01 2006.02 2006.03 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.11 2007.12 2008.01 2008.02 2008.03 2008.04 2008.05 2008.07 2008.09 2008.10 2009.01 2010.01 2010.03 2010.05


From the ghost land of the easy life.

22 July 2005

and now for something completely different (well maybe) :
Things I lost in my last nightmare relationship:

My mind
IQ points
Self-respect/esteem
Self-confidence
My health
My money
My credit rating
Laughter

And before Raz drops dead of the depressions:
What I’ve gained since leaving him like a bat outta hell:

Self-confidence
My health
My ability to laugh, out loud
My mind (ok maybe I never had all of it anyways)
IQ points
My Health (2 dress sizes down already)
My self-respect/esteem
My inner cheapskate
My sense of rhythm
A sense of Irony
Deep veins of devil may care
Cherries!!!!!!!!

So, don’t tell anyone else. My grey hairs have gone into remission. Seriously. Don’t tell anyone. If you do the L’Oreals and Garniers and Clairols will gather around and enlist Schwarzkopf and Aveda, L’anza, Wella and Goldwell, and Fudge Paintbox to help them finance the diva hair colour product ho squad; that would hunt down and sweat my ass ‘til I was so gray, grayer than Jessica Tandy.

Can you imagine being stalked by Beyonce, Milla Jovovich, Sarah Jessica Parker, Andie McDowell, Gwen Stefani and the countless others that would come on board to ensure eternal damnation and stress for me for not only ceasing to buy their products, but for openly admitting I’d found a way to reverse the tell tale signs of hair aging and therefore eliminating my contribution to their coffers? Hell then I’d be on the shit list with the shampoo and conditioner makers too, cuz let’s face it. If I can just de-grey my hair then I should eventually be able to have shiny and bouncing behaving non Finessed, Joicoed, Paul Mitchelled, Pantened, Head and Shoulders-ed hair too. OMG.

Ok I know a lot of guys would want to be stalked by the diva hair colour product ho squad. Good for you. Until I face that Freaky Friday when I become a guy it’s like a nightmare thinking all these bitches could show up here wanting coffee and cigs and needing to “talk some sense into me.” Literally, getting the ice-cold chills from contemplating it : ) This town so doesn’t have a Starbucks. They might just pluck me bald for telling them to go smoke on the front lawn. Well, maybe not. If they did that their job will be over before it begins, bald can’t go grey. And horrors – I have a big head. I’d be forever resigned to wigs and hats. I’m an ugly baldie.

On the topic of cherries I failed to mention I only like the fruit. Not the jam, the pie, the yogurt, the lip gloss, the ice cream, the anything else. I love cherries alone. It's the only fruit I'm so partisan about. I will have strawberry or blueberries in whatever way they can be gotten (margueritas especially) but not cherries.

For random Friday news my digital camera died and then I made sure it was dead. Fit of pique ok? I went out and bought another, owned it for about 10 minutes. I took it back after I was possessed by the ghost of good sense and bought myself a fern, 2 sticks of bamboo and some barbeque chicken wings instead. Much cheaper and now I have money to last me until next pay, when in all likelihood I'll go look for the camera, and if it's still there I'll buy it. The rule on that - if it's still there it was meant to be yours.

I was so good today I could be a religious icon to all reformed shopaholics every where. I could be used as a relic to exercise those still possessed by the spendalotus demons. I could be laughing my ass off in private at this stuff, but I'm shameless and I'm sharing :)

I promise to get pics of the orange couch, the truly fugly sheets that no one at the pubic laundry will steal, the fern and the rest of my tats. I only got to snap 3 before the camera died. About the sheets - I think they could be used against me by someone like Scared Bunny (linked to on the left) as a what to look for when dating a crazy woman sign. Not that I think I'm as nutty as the ladies he's been talking about. But the sheets, I feel they make me seem insane. I have 2 rules when buying sheets. They must catch my eye and they must be something no one will steal at the public laundry. I don't have the same rules about clothes, haven't had any stolen at a public laundry.
ghost writer Ambrrrr at 6:24 PM

MenTal fUrbAll